Why is society age pressuring so much? Why do they think life stops at 25 or 30 when it doesn't?

[Paulalove98]

I choose to start a family in my late 20s or right at 30-31 and i believe that's still young but really why is society making it sound like it's the end of the world if they dont have what everyone else has right away like a marriage and a family and they look at you like "oh no aww thats sad" look in public at work or in general. It's just rude how they make it sound like you're in a race.

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1 y

My friend is 24, 25 next year and she is divorcing cause her marriage failed. She married at 18. Im almost 24 and im not married and no kids yet and of course id love that but i don't wanna force it to happen right away either.

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1 y

The thing with me is im an average girl and even talking/approaching guys im not that good at. I get nervous and shy if he will like me or not but im trying to put myself out more and go to church and other events locally and try to meet guys. I know i have time i just get anxiety😢

[HighValue]

Plenty of women will give you bad advice that if you take it, YOU will be the one to deal with the consequences.

Biology has never changed. Women past 35 have a SIGNIFICANTLY less chance of having a healthy kid. Their chance of pregnancy at all goes down a lot, but when they do get pregnant when older there is a high chance of birth defects, mostly mental/learning disabilities. That is a major contributing factor why there are more kids in school now with learning disabilities and more with severe learning disabilities that will never be a fully functioning adult.

The reason why 30 is seen as "the wall" for women is because you don't meet someone and then have a kid that first month. Normally you would date for a year, then live together for a year, then start trying to have a kid. So the whole process from the first day you met takes about 3 years for the first kid. Using those average times, if you met someone right at 30, you could have two healthy kids by 35. AND that is only if you were healthy and didn't have a past of doing drugs or heavy alcohol drinking because that damages a woman's eggs regardless of her age. Even if the woman was 20, but she did drugs in her teens it could badly affect her future kids.

Men lose fertility for healthy kids too, but it starts at 55 instead of 35. Regardless of some people's wishful thinking or denial of biology and statistics, those are the numbers. So if someone wants a good chance of having healthy kids, don't start a NEW relationship with a woman past 30 or a man past 50, and don't be with anyone with a past of drug use (including marijuana.)

by the way, I have worked in schools for 12 years and the two most common circumstances when the kids have learning disabilities are past drug use and the mother's age.

[Paulalove98]

I dont do drugs or drink alcohol or smoke. I wanna have one at 27-29 or right at 30.

[Bricealan]

Paula, you just have to ignore most of the bullshit you hear from society at large, because it is just that, bullshit, from people that throw out that kind of 'group think" because that is the way THEY FEEL about themselves.

Here is a classic example: I went for a job interview, when returning from military at TWENTY-SEVEN! Talked to some ignorant asshole in an agency and he wanted to know if I had any "Social Problems"? Because I was not married at 27. I said: Social Problems!!! What the fuck are you talking about! He asked if I belonged to any "Gay liberation movements" ! I went to the owner of the Agency and made a formal complaint. Not married at 27, I must be gay? RIGHT? ?

Later at 33, I was at the University of Akron, and was competing in 10K's and went to the University to take a Treadmill Fitness' Test. The Bozo that ran the fitness area said:

"Oh no, we don't test any "Middle Aged" men!!! I had to get an EKG for this asshole to test me, and when I tested, I was "off the scale" for a 19 year old for oxygen uptake and cardio fitness.

That is what we are up against in this society when it comes to not being 15 years old!!!

I understand why you feel the way you do. Forget it and get on with your life, sweet pea.

Bruce

[kylee2437]

Hmmm I guess because I’m your age, I see what you are saying. I think it’s just the fact that back then a lot of people were married and had kids by the age of 25 but I think the issue is in todays world , there’s so much more obstacles when it comes to getting to a point of being successful and comfortably living , that the stresses of comfortability living are affecting the quality of peoples relationships and also not allowing people to actually comfortably live while having a family at the early age.

[Paulalove98]

@kylee2437 i feel old tho by my age even tho people say i look 19-21. I get a bit sad when they say"oh 24 almost, or no kids yet for you?" And i miss when they used to tell me when i told them 19 or 20 even 21 or 22 and say im too young now it's like a sigh or aww reaction and that makes me feel pressuresome and old but i dont see anything wrong with waiting till my late 20s or early 30s. I just haven't met the right guy yet is why😞

[kylee2437]

@Paulalove98 lol I felt the same way when I turned 24 and I’m turning 25 in December so I feel your pain, but I do personally think we are still at early ages to have kids and many people our age that have kids actively struggle financially everyday. One of my closest friends is currently pregnant and honestly I wouldn’t wish her situation on my worst enemy. I think had she waited, she would’ve been fairly happier and now she needs to struggle in her best years for this child. I love her, but I don’t think she made the right move personally.

[Paulalove98]

@kylee2437 im 24 in 2 weeks but for reals. I believe the time will come just for others it takes a little longer& im still trying to meet the right guy. Im not picky really with looks i just dont want a guy in the 30s more like 18-28 range and someone who is kind, loyal, affectionate, caring, honest, funny& down to earth guy. He doesn't have to be 6 foot or have muscles i dont care. I just don't like facial hair on men and as long as he's not obese either. I dont believe im that picky i just want someone with a wonderful heart/personality.

[kylee2437]

@Paulalove98 I think we are just at an awkward age lol like men our age are still typically immature , but 30 year old men that go for women our age typically have issues. I think waiting and finding the right person is very wise. My friend didn’t do that and now she has a baby daddy that wants no parts of her and the baby pretty much. She cries everyday because of it

[wittymilf]

I’ve never noticed society doing this 🤔 maybe 50

[Paulalove98]

It seems like they do now days. There's questions and opinions here with people saying women especially have to do things by a certain age. It's like their bullying people.

[wittymilf]

Oh , here is not society! This place has a disproportionate number of weirdos 😂 people who live on line. The real world is where you should conclude how real
People feel.

[Paulalove98]

But it makes me a bit sad now because people even in public used to say oh you're too young and now i wanna cry when i say im turning 24 and they will say"no kids yet for you?" Like it's not like im 30 yet or in my 30s with no kids, that right there just makes me feel old even tho some people too will say im still young😭 I don't know if it's cause some people my age already have kids and a partner but probably yeah and im also sensitive at times.

[wittymilf]

Fuck em, make your own rules

[ohsheeT]

Depending on how we were brought up and when we leave our parents house which I was 16 and 1/2 the life is weird I don't think that I'm an adult now LOL it's because I have grown up but I haven't grown up I am who I am on the inside that's all the couch but for a lot of people life doesn't start until you're 30 that's when you've gotten everything out of your system and you start to settle down I know that sounds kind of late but that's how it was for me and no matter my age inside my body and what I feel like I still feel like I'm 25 years old just because we have 25 or 30 birthday cakes that doesn't mean that's how old we are it's how you feel on the inside and at my age right now I don't feel it at all like like I said I still feel like I'm 25

[TheSpaceGnome]

Women do not hit a wall at 30.

Most 30 year olds look like they did at 20, many 30 year old men are more than willing to date and marry 30 year old women and stay married to them. And thats actually part of your problem (and my problem). By 30, most people are married, so your value doesn't shrink, but the pool of single people does.

As for having children, there is a MINOR increase in birth defects for MOST women around their early 30s, but as I've said before, it is easily mitigated in a clinic for anyone who wants to have kids at that age with almost no risk. but even without the clinic, its like an 80% to 90% chance of no birth defect issues naturally.

Anxiety is understandable, But it's still a barrier you have to break through.

[Havthrills]

I didn't notice. I really just be me and don't care what "main stream media" or "the masses" push because it either is a lie or just people following one person. Kind of why I quit church. Just be yourself. You sound like an awesome woman. So be you like only you can.

[Bricealan]

Good advice, see what I told her.

Bruce

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Its not society but your social circle. My family for example dont mind when or if I dont even marry at all. Important is not to force it and let it happen naturally when you're ready.

Marriage at 18 is damn early though. Here very early marriage and teen pregnancy are a "lower class issue". The more up to date people dont see the reason why even marry

[hafinjun]

I don't know they used to say life begins at 30, or was it 40., Anyway I was watching TV and some balloon chested teenager was calling a guy who looked maybe 35, old. By that yard stock I must be antique😉

[Alwayreckles93]

If you think 24 is old imagine me I am hitting 30 and people always think I am 19 .

[boggboss]

If u focus on what u read online no life choice is a good one simply ignore people lol

[Bricealan]

Excellent advice, 'boggboss'

[dragoblack]

Mainly because of social life when it comes to youth and dating.
At age of 25 we start to feel our body aging and our prime degrading.
At 30 dating someone who is 18-20 starts looking creepy and pedo looking to many people (even though they are both consenting adults).
At age 40 though middle aged adult you are considered old and only datable by those around your age.
Simply put people want to maintain their youth but reality hits hard.

[Paulalove98]

Well i can't force the right guy to come and he hasn't yet but im trying, if he's into me enough it shouldn't matter about my age going to be 24 soon so... and also i take care of myself i dont drink alcohol or smoke and dont do drugs. People think i look 19-20, 21 at the oldest.

[Paulalove98]

It's a little exaggeration in my opinion. I could see if im 30 but literally im only gonna be 24. I have some time still at least.

[LimitedBenefits101]

You should be having kids now, at 30 no guy will look at you.

As they say once women hit 30 they basically have nothing to offer.

[Paulalove98]

Im trying... i am turning 24 i got some time. I just haven't met the right guy yet they only want sex.

[BJP21]

Ignorant society. Im nearly 40. Im old enough to know better, but young enough to do it again.

I don't even have grey hair. TF! LOL

[Likes2drive]

Life is short sometimes, people are impatient but 30 is fine, I started a family at 31

[BLP11520]

Hey age is a number if you take care of yourself 62 and very fit, people think I in my 40, s

[Paulalove98]

Some people are just so judgy like so what if i wanna wait till im 27-29 to have a child even 30 like that's actually a perfect age and i know i will be steady by then i also still am trying to meet the right guy but some people just judge your age and assume you're old or why weren't you younger blah blah blah. Thats awesome tho.

[BLP11520]

Thanks

[BLP11520]

Losing more weight getting muscle tone

[Debbie14217]

wow I don't know... crazy

[Anonymous]

no one is just this dumb fucking site is