Is immaturity (in both genders) common in 19 year-olds?

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine doing and saying the same things when I was that age. These are a couple stupid things I did and said at that age:

- I once said ''I never want kids. I wish I never got pregnant ever.''

- To my then boyfriend (now ex boyfriend): If you ever get me pregnant, I'm going to abort it. I don't want brats.

- The few times I got invited to a party, I drank to the point of geting hammered and wasted. Even though I never slept around and wasn't an angry drunk, I drank like a man and was slurring at all conversations (acting sloppy too) when drunk. It still wasn't a good impression of a serious, college girl.

- I thought being a relationship for the sake of a relationship was fun but lol.. little did I know nothing stays at ''oh the beautiful butterflies'' stage forever without goals

- I used to made fun of people that were too much traditional.

- I didn't know how to cook back then and once boasted about it at my workplace.

Looking back at my now older self, I can't believe that was me back then. Are 19 year-olds of both gender that immatured?

[BullShark]

I'd say no, because when I was 19 (which wasn't that long ago tbvh), I was still quite a mature lad even for my age, which is something I get told constantly, even to this day by my peers. If I have to guess why I'm like this, it's probably because I was tested a lot as a child and I matured at a very young age, which changed me, for better or for worse.

The things you used to say, I've heard a lot of girls say at that age, so I wouldn't really say you were an exception. You're at that age where you think getting wasted, doing drugs, and being an all around baddie is cool and if you don't be like that, you'll be labeled as "the weird one" and be casted out of the friends' circle, which is another thing that happened to me growing up. I was never fond of smoking, doing drugs, getting wasted or desperate to get into a relationship.

Even in college, I will admit, things seemed wild for me. I met all sorts of new people, made a ton of new friends, was invited to a bunch of parties where there would be cute girls who'd not only be willing to hook up with me, but also gave me compliments on my looks. It was tempting. But I held true to my morals and this is where it lead me.

So, how has it changed me from every other 23 year old you may have known/know? For one, I don't have this constant desire to bang. Sure, the toll of loneliness hits me from time to time because being a man, especially in today's day and age is very lonely, which I think most women don't understand. I'm not trying to sound mysoginistic, nor am I looking for pity. But it is what it is. Anyways, I'm getting sidetracked.

The point is, because I matured as a child, I'm far more grounded as an adult as well, and hence, I can't sometimes relate to other guys' needs and wants at my age. While my friends are out there ogling at some random girls that walked past them, I'd shrug and say something like "she's okay, I guess" if she doesn't cater to what I want in a girl, or if I'm already attracted to someone at the moment. I also enjoy deep, mature conversations with older people as well and people my age bore me very quickly. Also another reason why I usually end up attracting women who are 2-3 years older than me, than those who are younger lol.

[Asker]

Well the only two things I never did was drugs and sleeping around. Believe or not, my count is still at one man. Though, the closest I ever got with a guy at a party (both of us getting drunk) is grinding and then sitting on his lap. We almost kissed but I think things didn't go further for 3 things; I was on my period, there were lots of people and I was worried that my reputation would be ruined. Who knows if I would've done things with him if I wasn't on my period and the timing was right. Wow... that was a close one I guess.

I guess I was a moderate immature girl (otherwise I would've already had sex with other men... I never did that) at the time. Still, I wish I had been more mature and thought like you at that age. I can't imagine doing nor saying any of that nonsense right now.

[Guy13]

I love this list of regrets... In some ways I think it is more complicated today. At least we had things we were concerned about and that were group driven... like Morality. These days every fool's belief is how the world is supposed to function.

[Asker]

Yeah and I can't imagine acting that this in the present-day in my 30's. No way

[Guy13]

Maturity is attractive. I am certain some guy is going to see that in you and drawn to you like a magnet

[LazerBean]

Sadly it seems to be increasingly the case. A lot of it could be offset by good parenting though.

[Asker]

I guess my parents (their rocky marriage I've always witnessed as a kid) were arguing too much back then and that didn't help.

[Fireguy17]

more so in guys.
Females mature faster than guys, so usually they tend to be more mature, for the most part.

[Asker]

Yes that tends to be the general rule. If I were to go back in time, I would've gone traditional from the very beginning, would've learned to cook early on and stop with all the youthful immaturity and modern culture nonsense.
When I was about to finish my HS year (17-18 years old), my father saw a TV show of girls my age saving themselves till marriage. My father once told me that's the right way for me and I got bored with the conversation so fast. I thought to myself ''lol, ok whatever, why can't I go to dates and be in a couple relationships like guys do, if a relationship works out ok, if not, whatever''. He's an agnostic so I didn't understand why he said that if he wasn't into religion nor god too much.

Years later, I realized he was right the whole time. It had nothing to do with religion or god. He was looking for my best interest, for me not to waste time. There is no advantage for a girl to spend years being immature. It goes against our time. Ooops. Took me long to realize it. That's why we're forced to mature faster. Our time to have a family (if we suddenly change our minds and want a child by then... I did eventually changed my mind, lol) is limited.

[Fireguy17]

It's odd my parents told me that the older I got the smarter they would seem, but what 21 year old doesn't know everything?

[Anonymous]

Yes, that's very common. People are still growing and learning about life at 19.

[Asker]

True. I didn't really know what I wanted out of a relationship back then and at the time it's like I was barely an adult.

[Opinion Owner]

That makes perfect sense.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Asker]

I can't imagine saying and doing all those things now. If I had to go back in time, I would value the super traditional people more than the idiotic modern culture.

[Opinion Owner]

I agree with you.

[In_Trance]

very common