I am the secound oldest and taken over the responsibility to watch after my younger siblings. Now my 23 year old little sister has the mindset of a 13 year old. I paid for her college texts books car. You would of tough she would had no issue getting a career earning a degree. No not my sister isn't she would skip school go out messing around with boys. No she is angry at me because I made ab appointment with her doctor to get her on birth control. The last thing I want from her is to be a single mom. Clearly she isn't mentally or financially ready to bea mom at 23. Then guess whos going to be taking care of the baby me of course. She doesn't have a job , I took her car away as the car and insurance is under my name. Last year she damage someone else proverty I had no choice but to takenher car away. I did help her get a job threw one of my friends that owns an insurance company, I pay for her training course which she file to show up at the interview when she had everything in order. My mom did a horrible job at spoiling her. Now she can't navigate the real world. I've seen this immature childish behavior in most people in their 20s.
You're exactly right in that you are dealing with the effects of parents who have completely spoiled their kids, never told them "no" or set any expectations or responsibilities for them, and, yes, they are immature and irresponsible. And only a healthy dose of "tough love" is going to change anything for them.
You need to sit her down and set some boundaries and expectations for her. If she can't follow your rules, she needs to find some other place to live and figure out how to pay for it. If she gets pregnant, you won't be taking care of her kid - she'll have to figure that out on her own. Etc. Let her know, UP FRONT, where the boundaries are and what the penalty is for breaking them.
She won't like it, and she's going to take some tumbles when she has to face the realities of the world, and you'll want to step in and fix it, but you must not. You must make HER figure it out and solve her own problems. That will be hard, but it's what needs to happen. Tough love isn't just tough on the one receiving it - it's tough on the one giving it too, but it's necessary.
Most Helpful Opinions
I feel they are immature in most aspects.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
10Opinion
American helicopter parenting has been at another level for decades, the results are what you see now. A buddy of mine was visited by his American cousin (both were ~20), the poor schmuck knew nothing about anything. He couldn't buy groceries for food, he didn't know how to use buses or trains, he had no idea how much alcohol was safe to drink, etc etc. All his life his parents organized and decided everything for him, including what and where to study, without them he was a deer in the headlights.
Stop trying to get her on birth control and tell her that behavior is just wrong. As a devout Christian why don't you just stop her from abusing her body for sex and nonsense. If a boy loves her then he should tell her to marry each other.
And age has nother to do with maturity or lack thereof. Not everyone is equally responsible so stop feeling this way.
You are not responsible for other people's actions. If you really want to help her then start by telling her to not do something instead of giving her an alternative way to bypass it like tell her to stop sleeping around instead of putting her on birth control.
I know guys my age that are as immature as a teenage boy. He just never grew up. There are some young ones in here wise beyond their years.
stereotypes exist for a reason. It’s the majority. But there are amazing exceptions as well. Don’t write them all off
Often, my brother is the same age and still acts like a teenager
yes, they have no concept of how the world works. They think it is like "Friends". They also have no survival skills. They have been codded all their lives so they do not have a good grasp on what can get you killed.
If she ever ends up marrying a guy in the future, I cannot help but think how much chaos she would add to the man’s life.
As someone that is 24, I'd have to say yes. In your 20s sometimes you act mature and sometimes immature. Or at least that's my experience.
- u
I mentor young men in college and most of them are fairly responsible.
Yes most people in there 20's were immature im sure you was to. That's how we become more astute and mature through our life experiences most of us don't much in our early 20's
Yes definitely
Some are, some aren’t 🤷♂️
Obviously not.
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!
Most Helpful Opinions