But then silence falls and everyone stares at you.
What would you say?
Bar keeper, "Here. You can't come in here without trousers!"
"I am the witch hunter. This is my rod of righteousness."
Barmaid, "Cor, it's a bigun ain't it."
"No witch can withstand my sacred shaft."
Barmaid giggles and says "Well I recon I ain't a witch then."
"You must be put to the test."
Female patron, "I'm a witch."
Other female patrons eagerly join in. "I'm a witch." "Me, too." "Me, too."
Barmaid, "Hold your horses. One at a time, girls." Looking the stranger in the eye, she says "Let's find out if I survive or not."
I luv you! Ell oh ell!
Even when i inevitably grow weary of the endless squabbling, bickering and trolling here, i will return to this platform only to consume your witticisms and platitudes.
When i walk into a tavern or pub, i EXPECT a brief silence followed by a raucous and unanimous greeting. This is because i grew up with “Cheers” and i wanted very badly to be Norm Peterson.
B. You all get drunk. I’ll dispense of the evil. You’re welcome.
Opinion
23Opinion
„Remember the Alamo!“
- Jack Goodman, An American Werewolf in London
"Stay on the path". Yeah right, cos werewolves can't touch you on the path can they.
I always assumed it was meant in the sense of getting to the next town as quickly as possible and not get lost trying to find your own way...
Other: I say "f*ck all y'all!" and leave. (Don't ever tell me what I can and can't do! I make my own f*ckin' options!)
Just greeting the company: "Hello everyone, no need for applaus, just return to what you were doing, and can I have something to drink and eat?"
has happened a few times... lol
best to just go straight to what you're there for...
"Not Trader Vic's, but it will have to dooo. ahWOOOOOOO!!!"
As for me I would say now that I’m here someone buy me a drink.
That actually happened to me in Hereford.
DM me for the details. I still have the sweater the pub owner gave me.
I don. t know who i spoke with. They told me that if i want to talk to the locals and not be treated like a tourist then i had to be IN a pub before 10 0'clock because that's when they lock the doors. I wasn't a big drinker so i waited until 9:45 and I went into the Lancaster Pub, on the Wye River in Hereford. There were 5 people in the pub, the owner, a couple and 2 blokes. I ordered a pint of cider. At 10 0'clock the pub owner locked the door and came back to continue in their conversation. I was just so happy to observe the locals at their watering hole. sipping on some really good cider. at 10:15 all of them turned to look at me, (creepy as fuck, like out of a horror movie... all their heads turned at once). someone asked me "what's your story?" i said i was in town working with the local military. after a few more questions to confirm my authenticity they drew me right in. i didn't pay for another cider. the owner told me that his dad flew lancaster bombers during WW2 so since it was 1995, the 50th anniversary of the end of WW2 he renamed his pub the Lancaster Pub for that year alone. Usually it was called the Saracen's Head, and the sign outside was of a saracen's head. Anyway, i had a great time. made a new friend. he got me into the hereford archives later that week. the owner gave me a commemorative sweatershirt. and i got a lot of great stories out of it. all because i chose not to be a tourist, i chose to be truly interested. one of the most awesome experiences of my life.
Say "Thank god there's no jukebox!"
What's the matter? You never seen an older man with his teenage sex slave on a leash before?
I see you've changed the sign on the door. (Propfile pic)
Don't you know that change only brings problems?
This happend to me more than once. I just stop in my tracks and stare at everyone.
First, make sure my wang isn't hanging out. People will be amazed at the site.
You think it is quiet now... Wait until the yanks beat the bloody hell out of the Brit in World Cup...
Find a quiet booth to sit at and wait for the serving whench.
What kind of food do you have?
Mmm, I will have that.
A man walks into a bar... everything goes black.
Makes the pickpocket's job easier.
Say hi really loud... then order a drink 😁😁
Sounds like Runescape when I was a kid.
That’s what guys do
i walk intoa tavern... OUCH... LOL
"Drinks are on meee!"
You can also add your opinion below!