Is it okay if I say no sometimes?

[Anonymous]

So, I (17f) don’t say no a lot to people. But I recently said no to a guy who told me to take my pants off sexually.

Now, after that and after recently seeing social media posts about how women should say yes to everything or something bad will happen and that saying no is rude to people. I’m very worried.

the thing is, I only say no to things I’m uncomfortable with doing myself. I usually say yes to everything if I’m asked to or what not even if it makes me uncomfortable. but now, since I said no to that guy. I don’t know if it’s okay to say no like I did.

so in your opinion is it ok to say no if I’m a girl?

[OneManOnly01]

What are you talking? Are you out of your mind? How does girl or boy matter here? You don’t have to be a slave to everyone you run into.

And what even makes you ask this question. You’re a 17 year old and you’re almost an adult, is this really so hard for you to make a decision?

How can someone make you take your pants off? You’re worried because you said no to a guy who told you to take your pants off? Seriously? He doesn’t own you.

[Asker]

Yes, because every time I've said no to someone, the person whom I said no to, would get really upset. I've also learned growing up that saying no to someone is rude and to just agree to doing something even if you don't want to do that thing to avoid being rude.

I think I upset him, so that is why I was worried.

[OneManOnly01]

Yeah you shouldn’t always say no but sometimes you have to. There’s a limit to everything. You don’t take your pants off just because someone wants you to.

[Asker]

Right, okay. Thank you! I just got taught as a child that I'm supposed to listen and say yes to what every man says.

[Sparkie460]

It's perfectly fine to say no. Nobody should tell you to do anything. If they want to have sex they should ask. Sometimes the answer will be yes, sometimes it will be no. A woman shouldn't have to worry about telling a man no. When a woman says no, the answer is NO.

[art84]

You should be able to say no if whatever it is makes you feel uncomfortable. No one should force you to say yes or you feel pressured to say yes to everything. If I was 17 years old female, I would say no if it was something sexually like getting undressed with my pants or doing something sexually with a guy.

[FilmGuy93]

Of course you can say "no," what kind of question is that? lol You're a humanbeing with boundaries.

[Asker]

I was taught that women should always yes to not hurt someone else and if it guy saying a girl what to do or something that a woman should never say no and listen to men.

[FilmGuy93]

What nationality are you? I feel like there are a lot of women who are being told that no one cares what they think

[Asker]

I was born in the US. But both of my parents are from Eastern Europe. So I don’t know if I’m either American, Eastern European or Russian (my mom’s ethnically Russian). I’ve just learned a lot of what I now think from social media..

[Asker]

I know Russian, I’ve grown up around Russian culture, celebrate Russian holidays with my family and I’ve eaten all the traditional Russian foods.

[FilmGuy93]

I’m American too. There are a ton of American chicks who think men just want them to shut up and not have opinions. I have no idea where the idea comes from, but it explains why so many American women act like they are the most oppressed people in the world.

[Asker]

Yeah, I just thought that if I acted the opposite of how I was acting. For example: loud, expressed my opinions, thoughts and feelings nobody would like that. I’ve seen a c couple of posts on Reddit that’s shared on a particular sub Reddit. I saw maybe 2 posts that guys said that they don’t want their wife, girlfriend, women to not share their opinions and just for them to be quiet so it’s peaceful. I don’t know , I thought that if I stayed quiet and didn’t share anything then things would be better somehow?

[FilmGuy93]

Being peaceful and being a doormat are two totally different things.

[Lottifan]

No one can make you take your pants off. If you’re uncomfortable with the idea just don’t do it.

If you do it just because he wants you to you’ll only regret it afterwards.

[AngryCarl]

At your age you should say no to everything.

[Danny_dan92]

Yep.