Was it wrong for me to say no?

[Anonymous]

This girl I kinda like asked if I’d get her a salad from a pizza place and bring it to her at her work. We aren’t in a relationship but I did take her and her friend shopping the previous week and spent $1,500 on both of them thinking it would be just me and her going out on a date because she said she wanted to go to Dairy Queen and the outlet shops. Didn’t end up going to Dairy Queen though… She hasn’t done anything for me though. She claims to be broke. And she’s allergic to my cat so she can’t come over… She was kinda rude earlier too when I asked if she got her full hours at work back because they cut her hours after hiring a new girl but she said she worked a full 8 hour shift. she said…
“what day is it?”
“4/20”
“I work at a smoke shop”
I didn’t realize it was 4/20/23 until after I had already asked if she had gotten her hours back, and the new employee they hired is still in training so doesn’t know how to open or close the store and can’t use the safe at their workplace yet.

So I figured this girl didn’t deserve to have me bring her food no matter how much I like her. I still feel bad for not doing it though. I did have to get up early the next day for work and planned on going to bed early which I did.

You were right to say No

You should have said yes and done it for her

[arodriguez664]

I don't mean to be rude. It seems like she's playing you. Relationships (any kind) should be an equal exchange of resources (i. e. money, time, effort, etc.). Sounds like you've invested a lot of resources into this woman with very little in return. Even if she's broke she could still do SOMETHING. My boyfriend makes a good amount more than I do. He usually pays for dates, but I try to reciprocate by making him breakfast. We alternate every other weekend to visit since we live 1.5hrs away from each other. I will give him small gifts of appreciation, I tell him I'm thankful for things he does and of course I give him plenty of affection (physical and emotional). We work together and bounce ideas off each other. Even though I can't match him financially, I try to match it effort and love. It doesn't sound like this girl has even tried finding some way to even show she's thankful, let alone match financial contribution. I urge you to really rethink this situation and maybe do some counseling. There are people who will meet you half way and love you just the way you are. Your job is just to make sure you're ready for them.

[Dinklex3]

Why would you feel bad?

She clearly doesn’t care for you in the slightest and is talking to you because you’re buying her stuff.

Why spend 1500 on a girl who’s obviously just using you?

That won’t make her like you, that just makes you another guy she can take advantage of.

Open your eyes. My goodness.

Don’t give af about a bitch who clearly doesn’t give af about you.

[Asker]

That would be pretty much every woman I’ve ever met

[Dinklex3]

Try to surround yourself with better human beings. If they’re treating you like that, they don’t care about you. And no amount of money you spend on them will make them care.
Don’t tolerate that because then you’ll just end up being bitter at yourself and with women in general.

[TrillXHippy]

If you still have the receipt take back everything she got at the outlet stores and get your money back so she could buy herself a salad

[EmmaMary]

There's one born every minute! 🤣