Do men still expect us to clean the whole house or will they help out too?

[Anonymous]

Here is the deal.. I like cooking (great) but not cleaning the whole house. With cleaning, I would be fine if that job was divided. For instance I can clean the bathroom and he cleans the room; two people cleaning is better than one doing it all by herself. It can be very exhausted cleaning the whole house alone and boring.

Updates

+1 y

That way if both of us clean the house, it's done faster and less exhausting for me.

[OlderAndWiser]

If my grlfriend works as many hour as I do, then all the work at home is split "evenly" based on our preferences: she cooks and cleans the kitchen, and I do everything else. If she is not working, I expect her to do most of the work (there are a few things she physically cannot do.)

[Asker]

Then sounds good. I work long hours and used to have a past boyfriend (not ex) that still expected me to do everything in the house; he didn't help at all.

[Asker]

So yeah that was upsetting, working long ago and yet still expect to do all the housework without any help.

[Asker]

working long hours

[OlderAndWiser]

Good to learn all about that before it became permanent.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[tfan1]

I wash dishes and vacuum and clean the downstairs bathroom. My wife cooks and cleans the upstairs bathrooms 🚽

[Asker]

Great cool. My past boyfriend (now ex) didn't want to help me with anything in the house at all. It wasn't only him working, I was also working and would come home tired. So basically I was working, the cooking and also expected to clean the whole house without any help meanwhile he would sit down on the couch doing nothing.

[Asker]

He didn't even wash his own dishes after eating

[tfan1]

What an asshole! About 30 mins ago I finished putting in some orange chicken from Sam’s club onto a pizza pan and then mixing it with the orange sauce for my 10 year old son and I. I could have left everything in the sink for my wife to do, but I know she’s worked hard all day and I made the mess so I should clean up, which I just finished washing the dishes 👍🙂

[Pyrofox]

It comes down to who's making the bread. If the mans out busting his ass to make sure y'all can live in a fancy part of town. And all you do is be lazy at home well yeah cleaning the house should be the least of the worries. If your house is a constant pig house its less an issue of responsiblity and more a lack of a mutual effort to just keep together the house clean in my opinion.

[Asker]

What if both are working long hours? I had a past relationship were I was working long hours too and still expected to do all the household work. He wasn't helping at all.

[Pyrofox]

Long hours for men and women are often different. Long hours for men it's more often than not physically busting their asses to get the job done. Where as for most women. It's social jobs and or paper pushing or dealing with physically light things.

Even in modern 1st world societies most women only do like 10% of the actual labor that guys do. And that's not even getting to the fact society is made now to give women just about every benefit we can. There is a reason "easy mode." Is a thing when talking about living as a woman. (And before you try to deny it, then why do we got now feminine guys taking over what was a woman's roles.) 😅

[TrueConfection]

I don't think it's as much expecting as it is caring. (most) Men don't notice the mess like (most) women do. A dust bunny or even a wadded up piece of paper can sit in a corner for months unnoticed. (most) Women notice dust, a cob web, a drop in the tile, etc., while (most) men don't see a need to clean what they don't know perceive is dirty.

[FilmGuy93]

I don't know any guys, especially not guys your age, who expect that. I'm not even sure that men ever particularly "expected" that level of cleanliness. I think the expectation ended at "please make a reasonable effort to make sure that the how I've bought you doesn't look like a pig stye.

[Asker]

If I'm working long hours too, then it can be exhausting having to then clean the whole house. I can understand if she's not working but if she's working, then it doesn't seem fair for him not to help out at all in the house.

[FilmGuy93]

Even if the woman isn't working though; cleaning a house is a LOT of frickin work.

[admles]

My fiancé and I share the household chores fairly equally, some weeks I do more, some weeks she does, it all works out in the end.

[Asker]

Fair enough. That's how it should be. My ex boyfriend was a jerk. I was working long hours, then cook and was also expected to clean the house without any help. He didn't even wash his own dishes after eating.

[inhua]

if the whole house includes the backyard, the shed, the roof and gutters, no man is gonna expect you to clean the whole house. that's why vacuum cleaners, washing machines, dishwashers etc.

turn the music or TV on if it's that boring.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Definitely depends on how you manage your paid work and house hold work.

Do you also be willing to do the fixing of things in the house the broken faucet or some shit that went down

And also do you do a paid job?

[Asker]

Yes I do work long hours.

[jshm2]

Well... have you asked him to?

Sure all adults should cook and clean. But you cannot magically expect someone to help you in something they have no idea you need help in.

[Adaeva]

When I marry, my husband will earn the money that I may get to spend. Therefore, I will do the cooking, cleaning, and other household duties.

[CuriousMufuxka]

My former deal was I do the cooking and she does the cleaning and laundry with help with garbage and reaching tall things. That help expanded from a foot to a kilometer!

[BLP11520]

I have been helping my entire life

[sirderpsalot123]

Some do, and some don't.

[BarryLiverstone]

Depends on the man

[Asker]

I feel it's too much if I'm working long hours too and he still expects me to clean the whole house, doesn't even help. I feel that's like overworking to the point of exhaustation. I had a past boyfriend (now ex) like that. He never even washed his dishes after he finished eating either. He wouldn't help at all in the household. I was working too and I was still expected to do all the cleaning.