What does it mean when people say that someone is intimidating? Is it a good or bad thing?

[Anonymous]

I overheard my colleagues saying that I'm intimidating. What does it mean? Is it considered as a good or bad thing?

I am a very quiet and reserved person.

[dynamicyandere]

It depends on the context. I see intimidating as neutral because there are both pros and cons, just like being talkative has its pros and cons. Talkative isn’t bad or good, it just describes a person's personality and behavior.


Being intimidating will make people take you seriously. If you’re pursuing a career for example, it will be easier to gain respect and people will be less likely to try to step on you or take advantage of you. It protects you from mistreatment and gives you a type of power. In that context, none of that is bad.


With you colleagues calling you intimidating, it seems like in that context, people are nervous about approaching you, perhaps you don’t come off as very inviting or welcoming.


If you’re trying to be a social butterfly and be a very social person, this could be a bad thing as it would interfere with your goals.


But if you don’t really care much for people approaching you and interacting with you, you don’t have to.


If you want to interact with someone you can always approach them first. Or, simply make friends with people who aren’t easily intimidated.

[Asker]

I see. Thanks a lot for your help and for your examples. It is much more clearer now.

[dynamicyandere]

You’re welcome. I’m glad I could help. 😊

[slatyb]

People can feel intimidated for various reasons -- it could be due to someone else's accomplishments, or due to the way another person interacts with them.

[Anonymous]

You make them leery to engage with you since you keep to yourself so much.