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You have to start all over again, the whole introduction and welcoming package, the first general courses and wait another whole 4 years, etc. Then you're much older and the classes are full of much younger students with energy to learn and finish their major. Meanwhile you feel this isn't the right place nor stage for you. You're behind indeed.
At some point you just want to either continue to where you left off at, have those main courses accredited and get to the point or take a shortcut where you can finish a career in 1 year. Same thing with dating. You're bored of the whole process all over again. You're older and you already want a family, not invest too much and be stuck on ''I'm dating and willing to find love again, start all over, be infatuated, etc''.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
I see where you’re going but I wouldn’t compare dating to acquiring a major. Neither are a necessity these days, as a lot of folks skips college altogether. At least in school you know that if you finish those four years you get something out of it. Often times dating someone barely lasts 4 months (I’m assuming by date you mean prior to a relationship). The way you wrote this out seems daunting, and surely that can be how you feel about getting through school, starting another year, etc. But for dating? If intended to navigate that with the level of exhaustion and boredom that I would with college I’d just avoid it altogether. Loneliness couldn’t consume me to that extent.
While both aren't the same, my point was that if you go to college and never finish it, never graduate and get your college/university degree and work on your field, it's similar to being in a relationship where it's over after 1-4 years, never makes it to marriage and kids as the goal.
It must suck to invest money, time and energy if you're not going to graduate and work on your field. You've given away money and all investment for free, for nothing in return. Same thing with relationship when you invest bonding, effort, feelings, time, year but don't get commitment in return, kids out of it.
Yes, and I think that’s the only real bridge between the two — if you don’t reach the finish line then it feels like a waste. But with college, if you drop out at least you can go back at any time and pick it back up, not starting totally from scratch. As with dating someone new, you’ll feel every bit of that newness lol.
That's a good point. It would be cool if we had a magic wand and we can try the same thing in a relationship (stop where it started going sour, fix it and stay where you left off) but you can't. Indeed it's a waste of time when a break-up happens and nothing has been achieved.
In theory that sounds good, but maybe it’s for the better when these things don’t work out. In the past I’ve had 2 men that I fell hard for, invested a few years into and genuinely thought they were end game, one I was actually engaged to lol. But they didn’t work, and now that I’ve been in my current relationship going on 2 years, it’s such a different experience that when I look back, I don't know how I committed myself to such men as my ex’s. I know for sure if I had a magic wand while I was post-breakup with those guys I would’ve waved it in a second because at those times I really wanted those relationships to work, unknowingly blocking my future blessing. The guys weren’t even as great as they seemed at the time😂.
You are describing indeed the problem with modern dating, that everyone wants a shortcut.
There is no shortcut to getting to know a person, it takes time.
yes and at this moment (36 years old), I would have to have a child via a sperm donor. If I take my time knowing the person well, go through the whole ''falling in love'' process, if I get commitment (I said if because a break-up can never any moment, not make it to engagement) it'll be too late to have a child for me.
And you defined why I don't date women beyond your age.
Now you have to find someone who doesn't care having children, and yes have a child via a sperm donor.
My time got wasted twice. I had the bad luck of encountering a narcissist as my first boyfriend and then my 2nd boyfriend was immature and someone that doesn't keep with his promise on a timeframe. I think it's overall hard finding good people, good matches that don't waste your time.
I remain looking younger than my years (I've been told before that I have a babyface) and on the outside can pass as much younger but yeah it doesn't take away the fact that I'm still 36 and limited on egg count. It's still good but yeah won't that great by 2024 as told by my doctor.
What I'm personally going to do, so people don't waste my time, is telling them upfront that I offer and expect a minimum of implication. And if I find that not to be the case I don't stay in such situation.