Would you ever participate in a guesty?

[Anonymous]

A guesty is where a bunch of people draw straws to see who goes first to last. Everyone has to take a dump in the same toilet without flushing and the last person to go (whoever draws the longest straw) has to get the massive shit pile out of the toilet as well.

So the last person to go gets screwed in two ways. One they have to shit in a toilet that several people have already shit in and not flushed. And two they have to get the toilet to flush which usually involves manually removing the waste from it.

It gets really crazy when there's more than five or six people because if your last or close to last your taking a crap in a toilet that has like six or seven loads in it. Most people would be too grossed out to crap in a toilet that already has one person’s shit in it, let alone seven.

Are you man enough to take part in this type of contest?

[nolabels]

I've had to do the hover over such a loaded can, where a bloop of shit water jumps up and goes in my asshole before it has a chance to slam shut after my own turd has just departed.

A contest?

Not this guy.

[Asker]

Thats the most amazing thing I've ever heard.

[nolabels]

Was it just amazing or did you enjoy reading it as well?
It'd be nice to know if I pleased my audience.
That's my goal. 😊👍

[Asker]

I think you would be a great contestant in a guesty. We should join forces.

[nolabels]

Well, damn!
I do believe that I'm feeling challenged.
Are plungers allowed?
I know my way around a clogged shitter when I have a plunger in hand.
If it's barehanded shit removal that is entailed, I don't know about that.
What's the prize?
A weekend with the hottest babe at the party?
I'd scoop shit with my hands for that!

[Asker]

You can return the toilet to it’s operational state by any means necessary but remember only the last shitter has to do that. The guy or gal who draws the longest straw goes last and therefore loses. Having to get rid of the shit is the punishment for coming in last, along with having to smell everyone else’s shit while you add yours to the pile. Whoever draws the shortest straw and gets to go first wins. The prize is taking a shit in a clean empty toilet.

[nolabels]

Lol.
This is one fucking weird-ass way to party, man!
Do you really fucking do this?
If the prize for having the short straw is a clean toilet, fuck, I've got one of those waiting for me at home.
I want a piece of some kind of trim at the very least, if I'm the loser and I successfully remedy the situation, which I will, there's no doubt about that.
I've dealt with the worst that can be imagined.
I once pulled a complete pair of blue jeans out of a shit pump some years ago.
I've dealt with enough public sewage systems that my brains have become permanently addled from days of breathing nothing but methane gas.
I'm not fucking kidding you, man.
I'm a literal shit-breather.
If I join one of these parties, I'm taking over as chairman and changing the fucking rules to suit someone with superior skills such as myself.
I'll be the fucking shit-king for as long as these parties exist.
Men and women will regard me with awe and reverence forevermore!

Where and when?

Tell your friends that a new asshole is in town, and he came to fucking win.
Give me that long straw every fucking time.
I'll cheat to get the long straw!
I need some shit to work with!

[Asker]

Your on another level man Ill give you that. But rules are rules and thats how a guesty works. However if you wanna invent your own game that is something similar Im all ears. Also I don’t know why you expect someone like me who plays a game as vile as a guesty would have enough pull with the ladies to get you a night in bed with one. Trust me when I say the girls are nowhere near this party bro. I guess we could bet on it though and you could take that money to the titty bar.

[nolabels]

I'm fucking tearing up in hysterics, man.
This is fucking great. I love it.
Now that I've become acclimated to the subject, I'm all in, but I guess I'll have to organize my own soiree in order to get that poontang.
I still can't conceive of the winner just getting a clean toilet, which can be had by anyone with a fucking brain, and the loser has to clean up the shit.
Fuck man, this concept is killing me.
You know what?
Props to you guesty motherfuckers for subjecting yourselves to such foulness with no reward greater than a fresh shitter.
There's something to be said for such sacrifice of dignity in the name of partying.
Enjoy the fuck out of your game.
Thanks for setting me in pursuit of another fucked up way to spend my time.
Lol.

[Asker]

Its all about risk reward bro. You risk having to shit in a toilet full of everyone else’s shit and the reward for being lucky and drawing that short straw is not having to do that. It’s as simple as that. Maybe we could organize for the winner to get a hybrid of the guesty and the blumpkin. Are you familiar with a blumpkin?

[nolabels]

Okay, what the hell is a blumpkin?
TP with a wad of shit wrapped up in it that's had a load of the creamies plopped down on top of it?
Just a guess.
Probably far from the mark.
I'm not even gonna try to look it up.
That's too fucked up of a term to not be of decadent, somebody's basement bathroom origin.

[Asker]

Its when you get a blowjob while taking a dump. Maybe the guy who draws the short straw can choose between going on a clean toilet or going last but he also get a blumpkin from whoever draws the long straw’s girlfriend.

[nolabels]

So, there is the payoff.
The reason to subject oneself to such putridicity.
The game is worthy of joining in after all.
At least it's a girlfriend and not just one of the other contestants.
I wonder what it's like to be pinching a loaf while one's schlong is being schlobbered on.
I'm trying to imagine it, but I just can't.
I'm in on that condition, just to experience a blumpkin.
Where else am I going to experience that?
"Hey, wifey, suck my dick while I take a crap, would you?"
Like that'll happen.
How many guys are typically in on these contests?
If there's too many guys, it might be a whole lot of mid-game, semi-nasty shits without a real reward before I come up a winner, and by winner, I mean short-straw-drawing, blumpkin-choosing, shit disposalling TRIUMPH!!!

[Asker]

A typical guesty is realistically like six or seven chaps and does not include a blumpkin as a reward. But since the king of dukie himself is taking part in this guesty we will need at least a dozen or so fellows. And one of them must have a willing companion to accommodate the winner with an extra sloppy blumpkin given atop the mountain of shit that the short straw drawing, blumpkin choosing hero will sit upon while receiving felatio. If you don’t draw the short straw we will just keep doing guestys until you do! And hell, bring the wife anyway!

[Asker]

@nolabels does that sound satisfactory?

[nolabels]

Sorry I didn't respond to your last message.
I konked out.
That sounds like an awesome way to settle things.
I'll even volunteer to clear the shitter on every round until I'm declared the Guesty Champion.
No extra accolades need be awarded.
I'll do it just because I'm the best.
It'd drive me crazy if I had to witness an inefficient clearing of disease-ridden crap.

[Asker]

@nolabels Great then, do you know of anyone who’s willing to compete?

[nolabels]

I figured that you already had that covered.
Where in the world are you?

[Asker]

Michigan

[nolabels]

Missouri.

Maybe a ZOOM guesty party might be in order.
I could collect my own feces over several days, in separate packages, then, using a caulk gun with various diameter tips to simulate different assholes, defile my own throne to build a massive mountain of droppings to achieve that which would be present at a real guesty party. I could eat some stuff that would be assured to present the maximum foulness and production of methane gas.
I really need the methane to put my mind in the proper place, resulting in my magnificent performance when I finally knuckle down and clean that fucker out.

[Asker]

Wouldn’t be the same the pile has to be created by guest. Hence the name guesty. Im sure in time we will figure out the logistics of the whole program. Maybe we can meet in Vegas and go out for a fun night after out gladiators game of shits.

[nolabels]

How about this?
I'll go around to some public shitters and collect loads that failed to flush.
You got me going on this.
It has to be seen through to my satisfaction.
I'll call it an anonymous guesty party.
The unknown contributors might feel a quivering in their loins as I manipulate their turds into submission to the long exit pipe that leads to my local municipal waste treatment facilities.
I'm getting a boner thinking about the joy that my mastery over the common turd brings to me.

[Asker]

Thats genius

[nolabels]

I believe that we've beaten this one to death, haven't we?
Or maybe not.

I used to say that I draw the line at scat play and blood-letting.
I guess I'll need to rethink the scat category, to some extent, anyway.
I'm not into eating a creamie from its source, or using poop for body lotion, but I could see a market for "guesty" porn, with all of the contestants jackin' their man-meat while waiting their turns to evacuate.
This thought occurred to me, you said that straws are drawn, and the order of who evacuates their bowels is thus determined.
What if a contestant fails to be able to produce on demand, or conversely, a guy just can't fucking hold on until his turn?
It seems to be a rather "up in the air" situation to me.
Contestant number 4 might have a "turtle head" peeking out of his bunghole while contestant number 3 is constipated and straining his eyeballs out of his head in his attempts to shit.
I guess that one of the other contestants could buttfuck number 4 to help him keep his contribution sealed in his rectum while they wait on number 3.
The possibilities might be endless.
You and I could be the originators of a whole new world of debauchery.
I'm seeing dollar signs in our futures.
Am I that fucked in the head to pursue it?
🤪😜🤪😜🤪😜🤪😜

[Asker]

Not shitting or shitting your pants disqualifies. Simple as that.

[nolabels]

Duly noted.

[Lavitadifarfala]

No……

[Asker]

Why not?