What’s the best and easiest way to stop trying to people please?

[Anonymous]

Like I’ve been people pleasing ever since like elementary school. And even more after I got a job. Recently I’ve been saying no to a lot of people that try to use and take advantage of me being nice. But for those that have stopped people pleasing, what’d you do? Like one guy I thought was my good friend like he always played video games with me, gave me advice and all. But constantly asked for money like I thought oh it’s nothing at first then it’s $5 $5 $10 $15 when it hit 15 I’m done like I’m not working to fund whatever he’s doing I’m working for myself. Now literally he never texts me and only texts when he’s asking for money but im just going to leave that and go my own way

[LostandFound__x]

I think I’m the beginning it’s hard. You’ll feel guilty when you say no and set your boundaries. But then it’s going to become much easier and it will be like second nature to you.

Also when you start saying no and setting boundaries, be prepared to be lonely for a little bit. Most people will stop talking to you because they were using you and can no longer do that. You deserve genuine connections.

[Izzy_3991]

For me, it was growing up and realizing people are selfish. They will always put their needs above your own. Humans will step on the poor and weak to get to the top. Humans suck.

[Asker]

That’s too true. Every past friendship and relationship I’ve had that I’ve been nice to a fault have just used used and used me until I called it off. I don’t get it. Like seems the only way to get around in this world is to have a good side but also a mean side as well which I don’t like. It’s just not how I was brought up to be an ass to people

[Izzy_3991]

I agree with you! As children, we are told to “be nice” and “share”, but as adults, that goes out the window.
And same. My mother raised me to be kind, loving and never mock anyone.
I totally understand your struggle

[smashleyy]

learn to say no and put your needs and desires first. It’ll be uncomfortable at first but that’s really the only way

[Anonymous]

Focus on pleasing yourself more often.