Is there a term when a woman can NEVER get commitment from any man?

[Anonymous]

There are certain women 30+ years and above that actually have never slept around, are family-oriented women, they had 2-3 long-term relationships but can't get commitment from a man. They just can't ever get a man to propose to them ever.

Is there a term for that, for a woman that never slept around, lives a healthy life but yet can't ever get a marriage proposal? My aunt (mom's older sister) couldn't ever get that and she's not a modern woman type.

[Anonymous]

Marriage has been stigmatized. A lot of men avoid it completely because it doesn’t benefit them. Some want marriage but have been spooked out of it because of divorce and child custody laws. Unless a woman has unrealistic standards or a… famous past, it’s probably more of a societal issue.

[Asker]

My aunt is 10 years older than my mother though. She was a time, things weren't as bad as they are nowadays and it was much easier to get it. Yet she never got it. She just accepted that reality and lived a childfree life, but yeah sometimes it gets her down. She can't tell what she did wrong in comparing to my mother, who got it easily.

[Opinion Owner]

Fair, I think in the past it was a little more of a deliberate choice not to meet someone and fall in love, whereas these days a lot of the younger generations are going to stumble blindly into a permanent bachelor/bachelorette life.

[DextroShade]

The term is "spinster" here, in China it's sheng nu "leftover women". The truth is that most women can find a man to commit but often their standards are higher than the men they qualify for.

[LazerBean]

Old maid is what my mom uses, spinster is what my dad uses.

[Anonymous]

I don't kow of a term for it other than it's just the effects of modern dating and marrriage. Men today are generally turned off about marriage considering half of marriages end in divorce, women file 80% of them and men generally get screwed in divorce. And marriage does not benefit men today the way it did in the past. It's just a sign of the times.

[Asker]

Yet what they're doing, which is cohabitation and co-parenting if there are children doesn't benefit the woman. A single mother that's in that position because the man won't commit, is already considered not quality and her dating pool has been greatly reduced, her value decreases... that already doesn't benefit the woman. Then relying on the man being expressive about his love towards his girlfriend isn't a commitment either esp if that relationship can be over any moment. If papers can easily be broken so can words too. Even living togeher is a joke.
So everything and everyone are screwed. In an ideal world, both parties should benefit equally. It shouldn't be about only going after your own interest (cohabitation or marriage) but the other person gets screwed. There needs to be some changes done but one person isn't enough.

[Asker]

Though my aunt was at a better time when it wasn't as bad as nowadays. Since mom is younger than her, things were still good during her time. So there must be something she was doing wrong too.

[Opinion Owner]

I agree with all of that.

Yes, both parties should benefit equally. But in marriage that is no longer the case, and that is why men are turning their backs on it.

Cohabitation is the only alternative, but as you suggested, it benefits women about as much as marriage benefts men.

The best solution is to fix marriage so that it benefits men and women equally, as it used to. But that is up to women.

This is a problem women have created for all of us, and the onus is on women to fix it.

[Opinion Owner]

And you are correct that one person isn't enough, but you as a woman have more power to change things then men do. Men are truly powerless in all of this. You women need to figure out how to fix the problem you have created.

[Asker]

The problem is if we try to speak up, we can get attacked by other women. It's hard to find other supporters. I'll give you brief life example of what it feels like, even though it's different.. here goes:
''I (a short 5ft kid) did once tried standing up to someone getting bullied by 4 people. The kid was 13-14, I was 12 and the 4 people were between 12-15 year-olds, much taller and stronger than me.
Result: They left the kid alone eventually but I had to get my parents involved because they wanted to target me next. The kid then moved away and I was scared for a while. Needless to say, I took a risk right there facing them. Sometimes I keep asking myself if I had to go back in time and do that again, would I? I don't if I would.

That's similar to how it looks like when a couple women have spoken against those extreme feminists that makes the rest of us look bad. Just like facing a group of bullies to stand up to what's right can get you hurt, so can speaking up against those zealots. It's a hard battle. But yeah I think something can be done. I'll try to think of ways.

[Anonymous]

Career woman. She choose a job over a husband.

[Asker]

So if a woman has a career she'll never get married, that's all she does wrong? I've seen a female lawyer getting married. My mother is a psychologist. She still to married to my dad, a dentist.

[Asker]

A couple of thsoe women I've seen that never get proposed, don't even have good career... rather mediocre ones and still don't get commtiment.

[Opinion Owner]

Back in the days you a woman needed a husband to find employment or run a business. Feminism freed women from needing a husband. Which is a good thing because women have independence. But now getting married or starting a family is now a choice.

Back in the days one man can support his wife and kids on a 35k a year salary. Now that's impossible. So the men will need to be a higher earner. 60% of college graduates are women. Less men are going to college. Less men have a 100k a year salary.

Divorce is horrible for men. You lose half your stuff. And guys with the income to support a family aren't willing to risk it on a stranger. People not just women are very deceptive and cruel.

If you choose a career the likely hood of a woman getting married lowers. After 35 a woman's eggs will get older and she could have kids with down syndrome or birth defects. So she pick a job that's good. I am not against female independence. She didn't do anything wrong.

A woman is free to choose how she wants to live her life.