Was I rude and insensitive to this grieving woman?

[Anonymous]

So some user on here said her mother is dying and won’t eat, sleep or eat. She said something about losing weight and she’s declining and her mother will be out on a nursing home but her aunt said she should be in hospice.

She asked what’s the difference between a nurse home and hospice. I didn’t sugarcoat it so I said it plain and bluntly, “Hospice means you’re put their to die. There’s no other way to get better. You put dying patients there to pass away. Sounds brutally blunt and it sucks, but it’s the truth. Nursing home helps patients get back on track on walking, exercise and staying alive or try too. The condition your mother is in, to put it bluntly your aunt has a point, she should be in hospice. She’s dying! What did you expect? A miracle? Don’t expect everyone to feel sorry for you.”

I mean I’m not wrong right? Situations like this shouldn’t be sugarcoated.

[robhazelnut]

Rude for commanding her to not expect anyone to feel sorry for her. Everybody dies eventually, so every building is potentially the last one they'll enter. It's equally true that hospice is where a person goes to have comfort and care while in a condition that prevents them from doing so themselves.

[Asker]

Well that’s what she needs to accept. Her mom is dying and she won’t have mommy around forever. Look I’m sorry she’s going though it but she’s an adult so she shouldn’t expect people to sugarcoat it and feel sorry for her. She’s hurting but it won’t change the face that we will lie to make her happy. No! I rather hurt her and make her cry being blunt than to make her happy with lies and sugarcoated bullshit

[robhazelnut]

There's a difference between sugarcoating and giving positive information to balance out the harsh truth, such as (if it's true), "I understand this is very painful for you. I'm here for you if you ever need to talk about it." One can be warm, blunt and honest all at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Not sugar-coated but you shouldn't be so harsh either... you could of left the pat part out don't expect everyone to feel sorry for you. You sound like a bitch!

[Asker]

We’ll she shouldn’t expect a Miracle! If she still is, she’s stupid for doing so. What did she expect, for her mom to survive? No!
Nobody has survived terminal cancer! I’m not being a bitch, I was telling her the truth! I know she’s hurting but to doesn’t mean we need to sugarcoat it. Im not nice.

[Subglacial]

@Asker You don't need to sugarcoat it, but what you did instead was dump a bunch of burnt coffee grounds on top.

She asked what the difference between a nursing home and a hospice was. You told her. That's all that needed to be said. She wasn't asking for sympathy or a miracle. The last 3-4 sentences were needlessly hostile.

So yeah, I'm not going to sugarcoat it: you were rude and insensitive.

[Asker]

@Subglacial well whatever. It’s better to be rude and have self respect then be a pushover.

[Opinion Owner]

Being kind isn't being a pushover lol plus she wasn't being rude to you in any kind of way you're just a bitch for no reason

[Asker]

I know she asked but I just bluntly told her that don’t expect a miracle or people to be sorry for her. People on their last stages of cancer and life with terminal illnesses will die! They won’t get better. She needs to accept that her mommy won’t be around forever! She’s NOT! She needs to stop crying because people die!

[Opinion Owner]

You've said that already if she wants to cry you arn5 the boss to say she can't heartless bitch

[Asker]

Whatever! She’s an adult, not a child so adult should be bout to handle blunt honesty.

[Asker]

Be able to handle blunt honesty