When abused, is it better to talk about it with people or hold it inside as secret?

[Anika08]

Will talking about it help to deal with it?

[Anonymous]

I'd say for most people, like almost everyone, talking about it with someone is helpful. It's a form of "venting", it helps you get your frustrations out and even if you aren't given advice to actually help the situation, it should make you feel better to just get it off of your chest. There's a Swedish saying that roughly translates to "shared joy is double joy, shared sorrow is half a sorrow."

Personally, I know that just talking about my issues with others makes me feel a LOT better, even if the issue doesn't change at all or get any better.

I suggest you talk about it with someone you're close to who you trust. But depending on what sort of abuse it is, I can understand why that might be a little hard or nerve-wracking. So if you'd like, I can message you or something and you can vent to me about it. And if in the off-chance you'd prefer not to have a discussion about it (due to shyness or something like that), but still want someone to hear, I promise you I'll read the message but I won't respond unless you ask me to.

[Opinion Owner]

But also keep in mind that I am not a therapist or psychologist or anything.

[Phoenix98]

Speaking as someone who has had... dealt with abuse victims depending on how they were abused, by who and for how long it can be really, really difficult to talk about it. Going through that kind of trauma can create of a lot of fears, insecurities and habits that make it incredibly difficult to talk about.

You can never really understand how they feel until you see someone break down because of it, afraid that you'll leave them, stop being their friend or what have you if you know about it, it's honestly heartbreaking looking at how it destroys them and still affects them even years after the fact.

Really the best thing you can do for someone like that is just let them know that if or when they're ready to talk about it you'll be there for them and listen and help them through it. But never try to force them to talk about it let them come to you.

[laly520]

only when talking about it with someone u really trust n sure that they won't judge

[RebelinSteel]

Talking is the best way, but with those who are ideally professionals in counselling. Initially it might be a friend or a close confidant, however it does need to be with a professional in that area. Keeping things secret protects the other person and there is no escape from it. Telling too many people then can have others knowing the ‘secret’ and use it against you to manipulate or something. Talking to a professional with expertise in that area will help and is personally the best direction to take. It is something they are there to provide.

[Saiesh30]

It is crucial to talk about abuse but with the people who are trustworthy according to you and who are your well-wishers. Not with anyone else who just likes gossip.
It shouldn't be kept inside fighting the battle alone. Express it seek support and raise awareness for others.

[boggboss]

Talking about it many people internalise the pain and learn the wrong things from it such as the reason my husband chests is because I'm not good enough or the reason he hits me is because I did somthing wrong g where talking to someone about it can help understand u are not the reason for the abuse

[Todd9612]

I would say it’s easier if you talk about it with someone, just make sure it’s someone you can trust, someone that will not judge you or tell anyone, I know myself I kept it in for a long time, but talking about it made it easier to deal with.
For me, it was easier to talk with a therapist, because I knew they wouldn’t tell anyone, and if they judged me, who cares because I don’t know them.

[TallAnon]

We're aiming for the abuse to stop, that's not going to happen by doing nothing, so talking is definitely the better option. Talk and take action to get out of that situation.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Talk about it. Definitely.

[Roudyrebel8]

Talk about it

[Twalli]

Talking generally helps.

[BLP11520]

Let people know

[adventureswithleroy]

Talk about it