Should I tell social services about the depth of abuse?

[secretgirlxx]

My cousin is a single mother of three has custody of two. Ages are 6 and 2. In the last year since I’ve been in contact with my cousin I’ve noticed how she neglects her children especially the youngest. She would leave her 2yr in soiled nappy’s for hours before she’d decide to change her, When she was one years old I stopped her from eating weed on multiple occasions as her mother left it lying around. However things have gotten worse since. She has started to smoke weed like it’s cigarettes all day and everyday. She prioritises weed over things for her children like food. She created a €250 debt for weed. When she’s single actively sleeps around and brings random men into her house while her children are there. She is always self absorbed in her phone between texting, calling and mobile games and ignores her children. She smacks her children especially her 2yr old because she was being too loud or annoyed her. It’s broken me in two to see that. I haven’t reported this to social services because she told me if her kids get taken off her again she’d kill herself and secondly I don’t want to she her 2 yr old in foster care. Her 6 yr old would probably be placed with his dad and the youngest doesn’t have a dad. Her two year old has been in my care for 24 days out of the last 30 as her mother kept asking for me to mine her and I did to protect her. A report was made about cousin that is mild compared to that info above but social services asked me to take her 2 yr old for a week (provisionally) on Wednesday gone if I didn’t they were getting a court order to put into care. They will calling out to me on Tuesday and I’m wondering should I tell them the extent of the abuse finally? Also since I’ve been requested by social services to mind her child my cousin has been out partying with friends as she’s kid free but will claim she misses them and wants them back. She also requested I take a passport pic of her kid as she wants to send her to uk to her sister for a month.

[xHoneyxBeex]

It sounds like it's in the best interest of the children for you to disclose the full extent of the abuse. These babies don't deserve to live in a situation like that. I work in the mental health field and I often share clients who are involved with social services. Depending on where you live, they may not remove the children from her care right away. Where I live, these cases often cause what's known as a "foster care prevention" case to be opened. This involves the parent getting to keep their child but they are court ordered to participate in various services to *hopefully* improve their situation and avoid the children being placed with a relative or going into foster care. It may involve things like, getting mental health services, parent coaching, substance use treatment, etc. I've seen it be really successful in some cases and the parents were able to turn things around. Either way though, what's happening to these children is heartbreaking and wrong and it needs to be reported, for their sake.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

It's best to have them kids in your care and the social services can't get you in trouble they are there to help you nowadays they would place kids with suitable families then to place them in foster care trust me, foster care is not to what they should be in and it's sad my little cousin who is now age 36 was sign over to my late mothers care and the mother agreed to it but in your situation, the social services will protect them, kids, as best as they can and if your able to take them then do so (( hugs ))

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for Most Helpful Guy:)

[slatyb]

Your primary duty is to protect those children. If it is not safe for them to be with their mother, then you have to report it or take other action to get them to a safe place. Could you foster them if she loses custody?

What about the father of the six-year-old? Is he competent?

The two-year-old definitely has a father, although she may not know who it is. If the father can take the older child, could you foster the two-year-old? It sounds like you are already doing that.

[secretgirlxx]

All I want to do is protect her children. However I feel like I’m gonna be seen as a bad guy by telling social services the extent of her incompetence of being a good mother. The 6 years old father is more competent than her. I know the two year old has father to be alive but her father wanted her aborted and probably doesn’t know she was aborted or not as her mother was gonna abort her but changed her mind last minute. I’d take in the 2 year old if social services will allow me to keep her in my care. I’m afraid they’d sooner put her into foster care just because they can. I’m fully capable of raising her and I would if allowed.

[slatyb]

I don't think they will put her in foster care if there is a competent relative. If you fear for their health and safety you have to say something. Or you could just suggest to the mother that she should just let you take care of the young one until she is doing better.

[driven159]

Yes, you need to tell them everything it's not about you or her it's about the children that have no voice

[FrankC80]

God bless for helping those children so much!

[KrakenAttackin]

Yes, she is unfit.