Actually, Account, I am feeling tired. And I usually am feeling tired. Depression, anxiety, insomnia, curiosity, and fear of missing out combine for an interesting experience. Although I wish I could sleep, I simply can't sleep. I had hoped the trazodone would be a sort of miracle drug, but it seems that nothing short of benzodiazepines permit me to fall asleep more quickly than after a couple hours of lying in bed and meditating. I didn't sleep at all last night. Sometimes I go a night or two in a row without being able to get any sleep. Maybe I'll talk more to my medical provider when I see her at my upcoming appointment.
I think I was a bit more active physically than I sometimes am, so I have hopes that I'll get some sleep tonight. But I'm pretty much used to feeling tired by now. It's only an unbearable feeling of tiredness that makes me regret being alive when it's the morning and I have to get up. I just get through life in a lethargic manner, and it takes a little while for me to register what's going on around me.
@midnightmoon05 It's taken me rather a long time to fall asleep for as long as I can remember. Some time around my teenage years I started being prescribed medications to help with sleep. Though I think there was still one or two nights that I didn't sleep at all. This became more of a recurring thing, however, once I got about into my 20s. I've actually gotten more used to it by now than the way I phrased my opinion might suggest. I remember a few times when I've been lying in bed waiting to fall asleep when I look around the room and notice that there is light beginning to emerge from the windows because the sun is rising. Some times I just know that I'm not going to get any sleep so I just spend the night reading random Wikipedia articles. Also in my 20s, I was in the hospital for a bit because I feel from a fair height and fractured my tibia pretty much into two separate pieces. Or at least enough that one part of my leg was pointing one way while the other was pointing a different way and the bone was sticking out of the skin or whatever. And while I was recovering, I was connected to stuff like an oximeter. When I was asleep sometimes my oxygen concentration would dip down too low and the nurse would have to wake me up and tell me to breathe. That was when I discovered I suffer from sleep apnea, which is when you have interruptions in breathing when you're asleep. This apparently also degraded the quality of my sleep. But it's fairly controlled now. Still, I don't often get very good sleep, except sometimes after I've gone a couple days without sleep and I finally get sufficiently exhausted that my body has no other option other than go into a state of deep sleep. Awakening from such a slumber is a refreshing feeling in the sense that I feel better than I did before I slept.
Physically NO! I can go for hours and hours at the time, don`t have an issue with that (coffee and redbull) are keeping "this Tank" running even on "fumes"... :) but mentally on the other hand... I`m drained..`i`m exhausted, I`m done... I would like to become a "device" so when things in life become to complicated,(too full) i could just "RESET", and be like "new" again, but sadly is impossible...
Bit. Family wants to invite me to an event I don't care about and if I say no it has to be some other thing. Either way my weekend would be screwed, and I am tired of just saying disappointing them, but Fuck manipulation tactics, Imma say no and get in an argument again. It's just tiring.
Been up since 3:30 AM and I will likely bottom out around 4-5 PM. I was at site early this morning and it woke me right up hearing all the birds singing. Great way to start the day at dawn.
was up at 6am for a morning run, then work, then bit of gym, then few hours of Archery, next off to pub. Home and chilling out. I am a tad knackered lol
Yeah. Physically. Mentally. At this point, I'm just in auto mode. Doing stuff I'm supposed to do, pretending to be fine around people. Inside, tiredness is growing and winning.
