What are some stupid people euphemisms?

[Daniela1982]

For instance, Not the brightest crayon in the box, not the brightest star in the sky, or not the sharpest tack in your ass. Just watch where you sit dummy!

[RebelinSteel]

They only have two brain cells and both are fighting for third place.

About as much use as a chocolate fire guard

If brains were dynamite you would not have enough to blow your nose.

Srength of a cart horse, speed of a race horse.
Brain of a clothes horse!

he's like a lighthouse in the desert - extremely bright, but fcuk all use to anybody

you're so thick, you could get locked in Tesco's and starve to death

[TommyMountainFigure]

Ladies and gents, I think we have a winner.. I love those!

Well if it were up to me you'd win! lol

[RebelinSteel]

@TommyMountainFigure thanks
One of my favourites is

Out of 10 million sperm, to think you're the one that won

Admittedly it’s more fun saying them directly at someone

[TommyMountainFigure]

It was the Tesco one for me! That cracked me up!

[Daniela1982]

Some of those I never have seen, so good ones.

[Daniela1982]

The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead.

[Daniela1982]

@TommyMountainFigure Like a pair of children's scissors - bright and colorful, but not too sharp.

[RebelinSteel]

The Hamster is good lol

Also

someone's village is missing their idiot

Or does your village know that you’re missing?

[TommyMountainFigure]

@daniela1982. LOL. I learn so much in this place..

[Massageman]

Not the sharpest knife in the block.

Brain is shooting blanks.

I expect nothing from you, yet I'm still disappointed.

Brain is as useful as chocolate teapot.

You need lemons to make lemonade, and you are out of the lemons!

Your train of thought got derailed a few miles back.

You are twelve cans short of a six-pack (think about it).

You must be an expert at math. You never open your mouth without subtracting the sum of human knowledge.

Your biscuit's not done in the middle.

(and the old standby) Your elevator doesn't go to the penthouse!

[Massageman]

Thanks for the MHO.

[Becky316]

I have 3 that I love to say:

1. Are your 2 remaining brain cell constantly fighting for 3rd place?
2. Best and brightest of the bottom of the motherfucking barrel!
3. 300,000,000 sperm and you were the 1?

[Ms_Facesitter]

"You are understaffed in the thinking department"

[TommyMountainFigure]

There are hundreds I've used in the past.. The first one I remember was:-

The lights are on but there's nobody in!

And the other one that springs to mind:-

A sandwich short of a picnic

[RetroReviews]

Dumber than a box of rocks, dumber than a fence post, a few fries short of a Happy meal, a few cans short of a six pack. They don't have common sense to poor piss out of a boot.

[Daniela1982]

If you gave him a penny for his thoughts you would get change back.

[RetroReviews]

🤣 that's a good one

[exitseven]

I always liked the one where his elevator doesn't go to the top. Also the lights are on but nobody's home

[TommyMountainFigure]

lmao.. great minds

[exitseven]

@TommyMountainFigure 😎😎😎😎

[exitseven]

I always use shit for brains too.

[TommyMountainFigure]

That's actually very similar to another one I use.. "If you had a brain, you'd be dangerous'

[Danny_dan92]

Sharp as a butter knife.




As bright as a dead lightbulb




As quick as a sloth

[SotiCoto]

I'm just looking down the list here, and it seems a lot of the resident glue-eaters can't distinguish between intelligence and "usefulness", and frankly the sorts who have to count their IQ on their fingers aren't mentally qualified to judge the intelligence of others.

[NathanDavis]

I like one in Spanish... "estás que rebotas de pendejo"

I like it because it doesn't make any sense but it's hilarious AF... " so stupid you'll bounce... "

[7Phoenix7]

Lmaoo I don't know why it made me laugh

[NathanDavis]

@7Phoenix7 lmfao... you can probably imagine it better than most, that being said and with the tone, lmao...

this is an actual "insult" I got before... and it had me dying, I was cracking up

[7Phoenix7]

Now I have to know who said that to you, freaking hilarious. I'm gonna use that

[NathanDavis]

@7Phoenix7 lmfao...

now, don't use it against me... lol

[7Phoenix7]

😂😂😂

[KrakenAttackin]

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
His elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

Wisdom has been chasing you, but you've always been faster...

[genericname85]

"plus size". is the most stupid euphemism to describe someone who's fat. or basically all the other stupid euphemisms we have around the exact same thing.

[joehypo1]

How about that ass looks like a bag of hammers, or sweating more than a whore in church, Or dumber than a box of rocks , those are pretty stupid

[LadyBecks]

All the ones I could think of were covered, so all I have left to contribute is, he can't think his way out of a paper bag with a map

[Surely]

I see the rope tied to the tree. Maybe that will hold the tree trunk from falling until he takes down the ladder?

A couple of bricks short of a load!

[Dongie]

Not one rope.

[Surely]

@Dongie you mean there are more than the one besides the one three rungs down. Going off to the right side of the picture?

[Dongie]

I saw only one.

[Dongie]

That one rope will not keep the tree from shifting drastically, probably off the stump. He's done.

[Surely]

@Dongie I understand. I was just making a funny!

[Dongie]

Ah-ha

[Surely]

@Dongie I have a couple of widow makers for someone like him to take down!

[Dongie]

I have one myself. Pecan with a base about 4.5 feet in diameter.

[dustybiker2]

How about with the news release "People will believe anything they hear in the news."

[Likes2drive]

Not the sharpest tool in the shed 😂 so when he falls with the tree do you think he will keep holding the chain saw or throw it to the side?

[Daniela1982]

One still wonders. 👍🏼 🤔

[DJB72]

He done just wandered round like an accident looking for somewhere to happen...

[DryGermanGuy]

As useless as tits on a bull. 🐃

[Staximus]

Sharp as a stick of butter, dumber than a bag of hammers, a couple biscuits short of a baker's dozen

[paledreams]

A couple of eggs short of a dozen 🥚🍳🥚

[Daniela1982]

Those must have been the bad eggs of society.

[handsomelad70]

For bosomy, stupid chicks, being in the 40-(inch boobs-40 (IQ) club !!!

[Goahead76]

I'll occasionally refer to someone as a "dim bulb".

[WhitneySnow]

Not the sharpest tool in the shed

[Dongie]

Dumb ass.