Women, in a relationship, do you believe y'all should wear what y'all want? If so can you answer the second question?

[Anonymous]

Second question: if your guy liked a picture of a woman wearing the same outfit, would it bother you?

Cause I like to believe if it does bother you, then it's cause it's a pretty sus outfit no?

Id like to assume that most women wouldn't want their guy liking any woman's pictures no matter the outfit but usually these are the same women that respect the man's opinion on their outfits so I'm specifically trying to get opinions from the ones that don't see the issue in taken women wearing revealing outfits when their man isn't comfortable with the idea.

[NathanDavis]

it is rare that... a girl dresses in a certain way, then gets into a relationship and then decides to dresses "more revealing"

usually... a girl dresses in a certain style, gets into a relationship and then she keeps her same dressing style... just like guys might do it too

what girls do not like most of the times is when a guy sees them dressed in a particular style, the guy likes THAT style, then gets in a relationship with her and tries to make her change her original style because now he'll get all controlling and insecure about it...

that's what most girls won't like, lol

[Asker]

I'm talking about the women that believe a man having any form of opinion against their outfit is being controlling

[NathanDavis]

yeah... me too

[Asker]

No you brought up a specific situation, people like to try new things and won't always stay with the same style, nor should you expect them too, that's when the chances of opinions being different come to the matter when they experiment new styles, you can't expect everyone to only use the same style all their lives, besides where I live the women are different, I guess where you are they only rock the same styles and stick to them, here that's not the case and I don't believe my area is the only one that has this behavior.

[NathanDavis]

yeah... but is a completely different story from the one you described on the premise

at the premise you're talking about like other girls if your girl dresses a certain way

and you're also describing a man that is not approving his girlfriends fashion choices...

if he chose her as her partner, then he should accept her choices as well...

[Asker]

Nah people should have a spine in relationships and shouldn't be afraid to tell their partner what bothers them and if it does then that person shouldn't just suck it up, not everything is revealed before the relationship starts and people change in many ways over time even if those are just minor changes in fashion choices, you twisted what I said to create a completely different idea of my question, I'm talking about women that believe a man shouldn't have an opinion on their fashion, I'm not talking about women that always have the same style and the man changes his mind after cuffing her, that wouldn't be fair to the woman cause her style was always her style and the man should've thought more with his brain and not his dick that caused him to blindly ignore her style when it was against his boundaries, like I said, you are talking about something completely different and brought up a completely irrelevant idea to my question, im talking about women that are against the idea of men having any form of opinion to their fashion choices, you are talking about women that keep the same fashion choices and end up having controlling boyfriends, controlling boyfriends and guys with boundaries are two completely different things.

[NathanDavis]

men who have opinions on others than their own... are usually not relationship material...

they're perceived as both, controlling and insecure

most women will want a man that cares for himself... and doesn't need to be fixating on others like that

it is about trust Chico... if you don't trust others adults and their choices, then every other actually important and major situation in a relationship will get into trouble as well

[Asker]

It's not that simple, many people seem to always create the idea that it always revolves around controlling behavior and insecurity and lack of trust when it doesn't, it's about respecting your partner and avoiding for any uncalled for issues, which usually depends on the environment, you live somewhere that there's more respect to others which explains your understanding of the situation because in your environment such forms of awareness and precaution isn't necessary, you have to understand that its not about insecurity and being controlling because for some it's much bigger than their own emotions or feelings, in my area it's common for people to disrespectfully touch your woman and test your strength at the same time, there's many situations where a woman's outfit here has brought trouble because someone liked what they saw and decide to put hands on the woman or harass them and as the man of that woman it would be up to you to deal with the aftermath of that situation, there's many cases here where people would get into fights or even shootings over stupid incidents and the reason being women, many think the reason is lack of trust on their partner when in reality where the trust lacks is having trust in strangers around your woman, when a man asks a woman to change here it's to avoid any attention that can eventually escalate to something bigger because there's many times where something does happen even if it's just saying something disrespectful to your partner by sexualizing them right infront of you, for the most part those situations escalate and leads to other things, if you don't have these problems where you live them or it's not that common then I can see why you'd believe it has to do with personal issues but it's not like that for everyone unfortunately not everyone has that luxury.

[NathanDavis]

if you think that the man who grabs a girls butt is just going to stop because she was wearing a skirt below the knee and not a mini skirt...

then you're wrong...

go ahead and ask the girls here... how much a difference does it make when it comes to being sexualized

whether is jeans, a hoodie, some cleavage or a skirt makes that much of a difference, it rarely does... lol

men who sexualize or sexually harass women are not "regular" man... they're stupid people, and however women decide to dress is not going to change much

now if you think a regular decent man, is going to change the way he acts towards woman, and then sexualize and harass a woman, based on her fashion choices... well, that's kind of messed up as well

women, just get sexualized and harassed by idiots, yes or yes...

[Asker]

That doesn't mean people shouldn't take precautions or try too even by making changes where one can, I wouldn't expect you to understand tho, there's always a chance clothing can make a difference even if it's by the slightest, I think people only learn from personal experiences, you sont think something matters until it does, its something I learned growing up and that goes with everything, it's only logical that if you get more attention the chances increase and if you don't think the way a woman dresses changes the amount of attention they bring to themselves then I don't know what to tell you.

[NathanDavis]

well it is funny... that you say that I would be the one that does not understand relationships with women, or that I do not understand how it is having your girlfriend sexualized

when I am the one who has gone through four different relationships... and you have had none

you speak in theory, I come from actual experience, lol... but okay

to each their own...

[Asker]

Reread and look for the part that I said that, or did you assume it by what I said, by experienced I mean experience my environment and that you don't understand my environment, how you took it is only how you took it, you have experience with women and i have experience with seeing stupid shit lead to stupid results because of women, sometimes women's mouth get people in trouble here, it might not be the same for you which Is where my statement comes in (the statement you took personal and incorrectly) that you don't understand that environment, I can assure you neither of those 4 girlfriends got you into trouble and I'm positive you don't know anyone in your circles or in those peoples circles that have had that experience or something similar, which proves my point, our environments are completely different.

[Asker]

Which leads to my other point that there's no reason for you to believe small things can lead to such results, which leads to my other point before that, that the reason you believe that it can only revolve around personal issues when that isn't always the case.

[NathanDavis]

so you first blame the woman and her "stupid woman shit" before you blame a man who sexualizes and harasses women

well... good luck with that, Chico

[Asker]

You just aren't understanding, you either don't understand what I'm saying or you misinterpreted it to something completely different which seems like a big issue with you today 😂

If you were talking shit to someone for example and that person slapped you, everyone will indeed blame the person that slapped you because the person shouldn't have done that and was completely in the wrong but you can't pretend like you couldn't have tried your best to prevent it if you were talking shit, same goes here.

If a woman is dressing in a way it would attract more attention than the normal and a guy harasses her and assaults her then the guy is of course completely in the wrong but we can't say the woman couldn't have at least tried to avoid it by dressing a bit more presentable, that person could have passed right by her not noticing her if she blended with the crowd for example.

[LazerBean]

I believe unmarried women should wear what they want, and unmarried men should get with women who they see eye to eye with on that subject. I think married men and women should be considerate of each other, and not do things that make the other uncomfortable.

My husband doesn't like the pictures of random girls, and he's not friends with random girls. But he likes the pictures of our friends sometimes, and sometimes they may be wearing stuff that is revealing, but not out of the ordinary for people to wear today. And of course I'm fine with it.

Sometimes I wear revealing things, always either at home or when I'm with him in public. And I wear it because he likes it. If you told me that it made him uncomfortable, or that he thought I looked goofy, I wouldn't be wearing it. When I dress in anything other than my comfortable clothes, it's always either for him or because I'm hot.

[electromagnetic]

I dress based on the event for the most part. If I’m going out with my partner, I usually ask him for his opinion on maybe 2-3 outfits.
I’ve yet to be upset with my partner liking other girls photos. At the end of the day, he’s in our bed. But he does send me photos of outfits and likes and that’s how online shopping on his credit card happens.

[Asker]

Fair enough 👍🏽

[MemeSupreme]

i can wear whatever i want but if he doesn't want me to wear something then we talk about it. that's why we gotta communicate

if it's no big deal to me or he got a legitimate reason, then i'll probably do it bc idc that much. if he's demanding me not to then we got a problem lol

[MemeSupreme]

and i rarely wear something revealing so it'd have to be him not liking my style, so im gonna be confused why he liked a girls post with the same lol

[Asker]

Fair point lol

[SweetJoyGirl]

Well, for me personally…

If he isn’t comfortable with the idea of certain clothes I am wearing, I wouldn’t bat an eye. He isn’t my husband. He is just a boyfriend. There are levels. lol

I dress more modestly now than I use to, so I don’t even think the guy would have anything to complain about. That is unless he is a control freak. lol

[SweetJoyGirl]

Since I already dress modestly the majority of the time, he would definitely lose me the moment he likes another girls picture. That is if she is dressed indecently nor do I not know who she is.

[Asker]

Why is that a husband privilege and not a boyfriend privilege as well? If you were going to allow and respect his opinions on that then shouldn't it come with the commitment and not the proposal? Cause when it comes to intercourse, I get it, it's a privilege only for a husband but with this I think if a guy is going to have this boundary, I dont think those boundaries would form after marriage, it will form in the early relationship which I think if his boundaries are respected before marriage it will only increase your chances of him wanting to marry you, the opposite might just make him think twice.

[SweetJoyGirl]

Because I have learned the label “boyfriend” doesn’t mean shi. I can be committed, and give my all; he wouldn’t give a dang about what I want. He will think my ideas are stupid and wouldn’t give them a try.
I have being that girl for so long. Nice, sweet, the one that did what a guy wanted, just to please him…
Adjusting myself and lowering my standards just to please him.
Where did that get me?

No where.

I dated someone for two years. You know this. Two damn years, and expect to marry him, only to then find out that I was suppressing myself by being with him. Give my all, while battling with feelings on whether this was the man for me.

Boyfriend is just a title with no power to me, anymore. I have limited what I will give a guy in boyfriend status. I want someone who is damn serious about me, then he can get whatever he wants.

[SweetJoyGirl]

Excepted*

[Asker]

That's understandable but ask yourself this, one day you will find yourself with another boyfriend and the thing is at some point one of these boyfriends is going to be the one meant to be your husband, do you think it's healthy to treat a different person a certain way because of the mistakes of someone else? Now think of the roles reversed would you want a guy to treat you differently because of an issue he had with another woman, even if it's completely understandable would you want that? I believe that if you are going to give someone a chance, you should give them the same chance you gave the person that did you wrong, it's alright to learn from previous mistakes and not make the same mistakes but that person might be completely different and the way you treat them can lead to different results, I believe if you are going to commit to someone, you commit, not partially commit in some areas because of someone else, the results you might get for printing the past to your present can be self sabotaging.

[Asker]

Bringing* not printing 💀

[SweetJoyGirl]

What if they hurt me? I am scared of getting hurt, again. I am scared of giving my all to the point that I have nothing else to give ever again. That was how it felt when we broke up.

[Asker]

When you are opening your heart to a new person, the healthiest thing you can do is give it your all, because at the end, no matter if the results are good or bad, you gave it your best shot, we always heal and I think we have that ability to heal for a reason and I think that reason is so you don't fall apart and so we can get back up and try again, even tho it's scary to trust again, you can only fail so many times until eventually you don't regret it, failing to trust again might save you from a heart break but it won't save you from the failure of the results it will bring, trust is one of the legs of a healthy foundation to a relationship and plays a part, putting all the weight of a relationship on a foundation with a damaged leg isn't the smartest idea.

[SweetJoyGirl]

I guess so. 🫠
I will try. 🫠
I really will. It is not that I don’t want it, it is just that it is hard a bit after so much. 🫠

[Asker]

Then maybe that's a sign you aren't ready for the next relationship yet

[SweetJoyGirl]

Nah, I am ready, but I need to be careful. Take things slow and steady. Let God direct me.

[Asker]

It doesn't sound like you are ready, how spaced out are your relationships?

[SweetJoyGirl]

It has been a year since my last one.

[Asker]

And how do you know u are ready for the next?

[euniestars]

I think it comes to a point, especially in public lol

[Asker]

It's comforting to know you were raised right small stuff *pats head*

[euniestars]

i be wearing my oversized hoodies and pants FOREVER

[Asker]

Well some lucky guy will have a good woman I guess, if he can find you in that huge clothes of course 💀

[Agape93]

Yes. And no, I don't give a damn

[Asker]

Aren't you lesbian 💀

[Agape93]

Bisexual

[Asker]

Oh..

[Agape93]

Lol.

[Jennz6]

Only if she has the same “Dance Outfit”

[Asker]

Jenn you wylin