Do you like monkeys?

[JustinTheGreat]

I do not lol.

i don’t find them cute, regardless of what breed. Not even the little spider ones that everyone finds adorable.

i think they’re ugly. I think they’re scary. I don’t like how human-like they are. I don’t like them and I don’t want them fucking near me.

someone could have a pet monkey and they would go “you wanna hold him?” And I’d say absolutely the fuck not. Get it away from me right now.
I’d cuddle an alligator before holding a monkey.

I’ll square up with a monkey. Don’t play with me.

Updates

1 y

y'all tell me why my friends came over tonight and they literally wanted to watch a show about monkeys 💀

My friends and I are so telepathically connected, I swear. We got monkeys on the mind

[Daniela1982]

What? You don't like us, you nasty humans. Let me tell you something. We are above you! Hear me out!

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree
Discussing things as they’re said to be.
Said one to the others: “Now listen you two,
There’s a certain rumor that can’t be true
That man descended from our noble race –
Why, the very idea is a dire disgrace!

“No monkey ever deserted his wife,
Starved her babies and ruined her life;
And you’ve never known a mother monk
Leave her babies with others to bunk,
Or pass them on from one to another
‘Til they scarcely know who is their mother.

“And another thing you’ll never see –
A monk build a fence round a coconut tree,
Forbidding all other monks to taste
And letting the coconuts go to waste.
Why! if I built a fence round this tree
Starvation would force you to steal from me.

“Here’s another thing a monk won’t do:
Go out at night and get in a stew,
Or use a gun or club or knife
To take some other monkey’s life.
Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss,
But brother he didn’t descend from us!”

SO KISS THIS HUMANS!!

[beefcakebradybatson]

A**es and monkeys. Nice post-breakfast discussion !!!

[Daniela1982]

@beefcakebradybatson Could have been worse. It could have been before sex or dinner. Then you would not be able to sleep tonight just thinking about those monkeys. 🙊🙉🙈

[beefcakebradybatson]

As Chuck Berry sang lo those many years back,"Too much monkey business !!!"

[Rosexøxø]

I see what you mean. I hear it 100%

but I absolutely do love em 😂 they’re so entertaining to me.

I especially loved when they bit people who tried to own them and keep

them as pets 😭 like what even-

My favorites are:

• Capuchin (so fun size 😊 and thanks to night at the museum films) 🐒
• Silver Back gorilla 🦍 (thanks to King Kong and I believe Komo? Harambe? The sign language one with robin williams- huge and admiringly strong. Fierce)!
• Orangutan 🦧 (intelligent, cute when young, and respectfully terrifying when older- thanks also to life of pi film)
• Chimps (intelligent and adorable; special thanks to Jane Goodall and her research and dedication)
• Cotton Top Tamarin (reminds me of Albert Einstein 😆 goofy and aesthetic)
  
• Marmoset (size adorability out of this world)! 🐒
• Emperor Tamarin (GOOFY! like a little old man 😆)
• Japanese Macaques (Disney movie or other animal documentary and they’re just so foreign! How springs in icy mountains and survival is just bizarre! As well as their social structure)
• Toque Macaques (Disney movie and they’re so cutesie and flimsy 😂 ) 🐒

[HawkPerception]

I've never personally found them cute either. I feel that people that say they are are the types to say everything is cute 😂

Do I like them though? I've never actually interacted with them, so I wouldn't know, but I like most animals, so I likely will like them. As for the silverbacks... I'll keep my distance from those guys. Apparently a gorilla is 20 TIMES STRONGER THAN A HUMAN. Yeah not even trying to get near that and get crushed in its palm

[NamerOfStars]

Gorillas are apes, not monkeys. And truth be told, you're much safer running into a gorilla in the wild than, say, a chimp; the gorilla can see you're not big enough to be a threat to it. It may take a bite out of your ass, but if you run, it'll let you go. A chimp will likely not be so generous.

[HawkPerception]

Ah yes... the word eluded me. Primates then. I'd still take my chances with the chimps 😂

[NamerOfStars]

Really? Not even the pygmy marmosets, which are small enough to be hand-held?

or the ones they teach to ride goats?

I could understand disapproval of the tamarins, though, since no one wants to lose to a monkey in the field of mustachery:

[JustinTheGreat]

I mean the first one is kinda cute especially if they are that tiny. But I think I’d still be scared to hold it

[Rosexøxø]

Omg I love them! Glad to know others appreciate these fine breeds!

[zagor]

NO. I agree fully with you here. Monkeys belong out in the jungle somewhere far away from me. I do not find them cute or amusing, and I don't want to be around someone's pet monkey.

Apparently the actor on "Friends" (David Schwimmer?) whose character on the show had a pet monkey felt largely the same way about it.

[Rosexøxø]

What about curious George? He’s a good little monkey :[

(Jokes) 😂

[D_Bone_Steak]

I'm just here to troll about monkies.

Stupid looking mother fuckers.

[Ladsin2]

You don't think the old man of the forest is handsome?

How about you take it up with the man in the mirror.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Sh8GRYSWWz0

[Ladsin2]

I'll respond here rather than blowing up that fellas comment. Do you agree that you're a bilaterally symmetric deuterostome? Do you agree you're a chordate. Do you agree you're catarrhine?

[JustinTheGreat]

The only words I recognize in your questions are “do you agree” LMAOOOO

[Ladsin2]

Are both sides of your body mirror images of the other? Deuterostomes form anus first in embryonic development like we do. We are chordates because we have a notochord, a hollow dorsal nerve cord, an endostyle or thyroid, pharyngeal slits, and a post-anal tail in embryonic development etc. The point is that we are all these things because our ancestors were. We still belong to all these clades though.
To clarify the point. Are fish animals?

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Monkeys are awesome.

[DishLady]

I love them, yes...

https://www.youtube.com/embed/MADRPuAcKFA

[Rosexøxø]

Great show 💯

[lightbulb27]

I find them scary. things that are jungle smarter than me, stronger, quicker... no thanks, leave them in the forrest... glad none run wild here, it's too cold for them.

[JSkye]

I love monkeys!

So much so that I learned Tai Shing Pek Kwar (one of the three styles of monkey Kung Fu) 😅

[Ladsin2]

Not Sui Ken?

[JSkye]

@Ladsin2 Not Sui Ken.
Tai Shing Pek Kwar

[Ladsin2]

Gotta learn Kyōken next.

[JSkye]

@Ladsin2 maybe I will make that my 4th style to black belt in

[strateguy632]

In animation they Are cute but real life too hairy n wrinkly.

[thegreenyogi]

I do. I find them adorable and funny. They always make me laugh.

[Lliam]

No I don't. I feel kind of the same way about them as do you. I don't like chimps, either.

[JustinTheGreat]

Chimps are the scariest ones

[Daniela1982]

They are stronger than a human and have nasty teeth.

[thearchjoker]

you are a monkey, all apes are monkeys and humans are apes

[JustinTheGreat]

We are apes but we are not monkeys.

[thearchjoker]

we are all Catarrhini which are monkeys. Apes are monkeys, both gibbons and great apes are inf act monkeys.

[NamerOfStars]

Apes are homonoids, not simians. We're both PRIMATES, but "ape" and "monkey" are separate groups, and have been for the last forty million years.

[thearchjoker]

@NamerOfStars Still all Catarrhini

[NamerOfStars]

Not since 1978, no. Try to keep up.

[thearchjoker]

@NamerOfStars Nope we are still in the Parvorder known as Catarrhini

[NamerOfStars]

Parv? Oh, so you're NOT arguing from cladistics. Except that's worse, because that means you were NEVER right. Both moneys and apes are primates. Both monkeys and apes are mammals. Both monkeys and apes are animals. Both monkeys and apes are living things.

They're separate families, though. They aren't, and never actually were, the same.

[thearchjoker]

@NamerOfStars you're a hopeless cause I'm not going to waste more time on this, goodbye monkey hating man

[NamerOfStars]

I don't hate monkeys, just scientific inaccuracy. Go back to middle school.

[Ladsin2]

@NamerOfStars All apes are monkeys in the same way you are a bilateral deuterostome. You don't outgrow your phylogeny. In summation, all apes are monkeys, but not all monkeys are apes.

[NamerOfStars]

@Ladsin2 Again, no- am I the only person here who didn't sleep through seventh grade science class? Or ever went to the zoo? Monkeys and apes are both subfamilies of primates. They do not overlap at any more specific point. No monkeys are apes, and no apes are monkeys.

[exitseven]

I do not know any personally. I would imagine I would have an open mind about them. If one decided to bite me all bets would be off.

[Account]

I actually like all animals. Except humans.

[Rosexøxø]

😂 😭 omg

[DrPepper12]

Commence racist maga comments in 3...2...1...

[JustinTheGreat]

I’m surprised there haven’t been any yet lmaooo

[DrPepper12]

Same!

[beefcakebradybatson]

Sure, if they aren't running countries and plotting Project 2025 !!!

[Rosexøxø]

Well said 👍 💯

[FunkyMonkee]

Everybody loves me!!

[Rosexøxø]

This can’t be debated 😆💪💯👍

[FunkyMonkee]

@Rosexøxø I KNOW!! It's SO TRUE!!

[Caroline91]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4cjBUeHHgU

[FunkyMonkee]

@Caroline91 Thanks!
Sounds like, "American Pie Part 2".

[serious]

No, not at all

[Klandestina]

I'm scared to get near them but I'm okay.

[KostasKouvalis]

Yeah, they make me laugh

[Anonymous]

I don't like my ex

[Rosexøxø]

Lmaooo 😆

[Opinion Owner]

He turned into a monkey when we broke up

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Nope. They ugly as hell.

[OddBeMe]

I don’t hate them.