Did the lessons you learned in childhood still hold up today for you in adulthood?

[Anonymous]

You know... lessons like "if you don't have anything kind to say don't say anything at all" or "always be nice to people" or "always say please and thank you."

From my experience... no, they haven't held up at all.

Groups of friends tend to constantly roast the absolute shit out of each other and often times even complete strangers trash talk each other. Sometimes they even beat the ever living shit out of each other to get the stress and adrenaline out but immediately go back to being friends the next day. Not that this is a bad thing. It's way more entertaining than giving compliments.

As a rule I tend to be a dick to people untill they give me a reason to be nice to them. Not a dick in terms of being intentionally rude or anything, but in terms of acting kind of indifferent and cold and sarcastic. From my experience this yields better results. People tend to be suspicious of people who are nice all the time, and they also try to manipulate and use such people. Being a dick prevents all that.

No one around me really says please and thank you anymore. They're basically just small talk phrases that don't mean anything. Actions speak louder than words. Just do the thing, no need to say cliche phrases that have lost their meaning long ago. I feel exactly the same with the phrase "I love you" to be completely honest. Showing it is a million times more important than saying it.

So yeah. That has been my experience. In childhood these were sort of baseline rules. Baselines so that children aren't constantly fighting each other and can fully focus on school work and stuff like that. But in my teens years, or heck, even more PRE-teen years no one followed them anymore. Much less as adults.

[texascollegegirl]

NoI grew upin a really racist Klan family and didn't know how many lies I was being told about the Blacks and others. One or to things said about some Blacks are true in my experience, but you get further with the Blacks if you know they are true without believing the racist versions of those things.

[Asker]

That's pretty relatable, honestly. My own family wasn't that explicitly racist but they did generally look down on people who weren't White. Like not in a "they deserve to die and be our slaves" type of manner, but in a "they're inferior to us and are not on our level" type of manner. Like still respecting their right to live and not be slaves, but still looking down on them with general contempt.

And I hate to admit it but a lot of those stereotypes are kind of true from my experience. Not like "lol they eat chicken and watermelon all the time and they look like monkeys and are so stupid!" But like Black and Hispanic people from my experience are genuinely louder and more rowdy and always disrespecting the teachers at school and always getting into fights and always committing crimes. Not all of them obviously but a good majority from my experience. And now that I think about it almost all of my bullies at school were Black or Hispanic as well.

Though to "make up for it" I suppose, a lot of those same rowdy Black/Hispanic kids were actually really smart and got really good grades despite constantly disrespecting the teachers and disrupting the class. A lot of them definitely way smarter than me. So in short they were smart but had a lot of behavioral problems.

I do my best to judge people by their character and no their race, but after so many bad experiences associated with those races it becomes kind of harder, whether I like it or not.

But yeah. You can acknowledge the stereotypes may exist and can be true sometimes, while still respecting them as general human beings the same way you would a White person. Since Black and Hispanic people tend to be more violent from my experience I may subconsciously have my guard up around them, but then I remind myself that individual people are individual people, not defined by their race, and I become more relaxed.

[texascollegegirl]

I understand where you are coming from because I heard a lot worse about the Blacks growing up... and we didn't call them the Blacks. We had different words. The only real thing that's inherently true of Blacks, at least the men I'm interested in, is some of them (not all) have way bigger dicks you can't find from whites or others. Here their culture is also freer and more sexual. I realized I'm the one that can't control myself sexually around them, not the reverse.

[Asker]

Ah... I didn't think of the bigger dicks thing, but you are right, I suppose, lol. And about Black women too. On average they seem to have way bigger butts and boobs than White women or other races. Though to be fair Black women on average are also much fatter than other races.

But still though, from what I've seen with a 300 pound Black woman vs White woman; the Black woman will have a good amount of fat distributed to her boobs and butt making them look bigger in proportion to her body despite her being really overweight, while the White woman will just look like a round ball with the fat distibuted just all over.

Not always true obviously, but yeah. Both Black men and Black women have uhhh bigger "proportions" than most other races. Lol.

[texascollegegirl]

I don't know I think you are right about a lot of white girls especially as we get older. A lot more Blacks meet the idea of slim thicc. One of the things the big dick Blacks love about me the most is I am very slim thicc with big boobs too so it's like one of those crazy Black bodies. I don't think it's as clear cut as the dick size thing where all the biggest dicks are Black, but I know what you are saying. At the same time, there isn't a Black girl that's going to win a twerk contest with me if I know there's big dick Blacks watching or judging, and their dicks are on the line. I studied that so hard once I had my that first sweet big dick Black boy. I was so grateful a couple Black girls got me all curious about Black dick just like my boyfriend did, and told me I needed to learn to twerk and gave me lessons just so I could make their brothers and cousins happy. I don't agree with a lot of the disrespectful things you say. You can DM if you want there are things I can't say here.

[12karen]

Yes.

"Always be kind, you don't know what they are going tho" and even if they are rude and mean. I can be very tolerate. Just as long as they don't insult or hurt my family and friends.

[Asker]

That's a good philosophy to live by! Just too bad literally no one around me follows it. To them the first impression they have of you is the impression they're gonna have of you for the rest of your entire life no matter how hard you try to change it. So once an idiot always an idiot. Once an asshole always an asshole. Etc.

Even if you try your hardest to change, one person will remind everyone else "remember who they used to be," and it's back to square one. Better hope they don't catch you on one of your bad days when you're feeling down.

[midnightmoon05]

Certainly… that’s why I am happier now.

[Asker]

Glad to hear it's worked out for you, haha. :)