Why do some people have a hard time taking compliments?

[Anonymous]

Is it trauma or something? Or maybe they aren't used to it 🤔

[IslaTheWitch]

imagine a kid who has never been complimented... the parents set high expectations, and as they were impossible to meet, the only attention the kid got was a negative one... complaints... blaming... belittling...

the kid grew up... but never learned that there are also positive kinds of attention... and one day, someone says "you look great" or "your presentation was awsome"

so... what happens in the head of this person? "do they joke of me?" "did I do something wrong and they tell me it that way?" you know... if you don't know compliments... you don't know how to understand them... and if you are used to only negative feedback... you will understand compliments that way...

[MemeSupreme]

it feels fake like they're just being nice to be nice or it feels patronizing. also i just feel awkward and like egotistical if i accept it lol

and i'd kinda rather deal with an insult or something shitty bc ik i can handle that easily. something good tho? i'm wondering what the catch is

[MemeSupreme]

IT JUST FEELS WEIRD

[Asker]

Well I always knew your momo brain wasn't normal 😂

[MemeSupreme]

what so you just accept a compliment without feeling weird lol

[Asker]

Yep, I just say thank you, you probably make them cringe as a punishment

[MemeSupreme]

sometimes lol

like at all retail jobs i've worked i get complimented a lot where i just awkwardly laugh loudly and then immensely cringe inside. TO BE FAIR tho they're usually weird in what they say

[Asker]

How's so? 😂

[MemeSupreme]

here's an example that's happened before at a drive-thru

old guy: "hey, you're beautiful"

me: ignores him

old guy: "HEY, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! but dw im not gonna take you away in my truck or anything. "

me: awkwardly laughs bc how the fuck do i respond to that

this is a tame one bc a lot others are borderline sexual harassment or literally are lol

[Asker]

Okay nevermind momo, you have all the understandable points here momo, this was quite the creepy encounter 😂

[MemeSupreme]

ITS ALWAYS THE OLD RESPECTABLE LOOKING DUDES WHO SAY THE CREEPIEST SHIT

[Asker]

They think by just saying it in a specific tone that it won't sound creepy 😂

[Dongie]

Maybe they think they owe something in return. Or perhaps it affects their modesty. Maybe they hate themselves and figure they don't deserve it. Could be they detest lies.🤓

[Asker]

Interesting take, I'm seeing how many reasons people can come up with 🤔

[LiamS95]

Compliments may make them feel awkward or nervous and they may not be used to getting compliments.

[Asker]

That's a good point, seems like maybe there's far more reasons than what comes to mind

[Account]

Because I start thinking I am a fraud and that I somehow made them believe that I deserve that compliment.
Either that or I assume that they are attempting to manipulate me.
It depends on the vibe.

[Asker]

Well everyone deserves compliments once in a while although being aware of manipulation is a good thing tho

[Account]

That is a very healthy viewpoint. Do you ever feel bad when people compliment you?

[Asker]

No not cause I'm egotistic but I compare myself emotionally to when I compliment someone, if you've ever complimented someone then you know the exact feeling they are feeling when they are complimenting you, thinking it that way makes it easier to properly accept compliments mostly if you can tell the exact feelings, if it's cause they are attracted to you or just simple admiration of your personality or physical appearance.

[Asker]

Compliments aren't suppose to be deserved and if you feel like they are then who told you they aren't well deserved in the eyes of the person that's complimenting you 🤔

[midnightmoon05]

Culture and self esteem.
That’s how they were raised.
They don’t believe they are worthy.

[Asker]

That's pretty sad

[midnightmoon05]

Agree.
If I were to ever give… it’s from my heart…
In terms of receiving … I can tell if it’s genuine.
So I go by that.

[Asker]

That's good, if only everyone had those abilities lol

[midnightmoon05]

lol… experience
A lot of girls use that to “connect/compete/ judge” I hate that. … small talk or back stabbing…
Guys are more genuine.

[Asker]

What 😂

[alice55]

Insecurity mostly I think, they just don't believe the compliment because they don't think they're worthy of it

[Asker]

A self destructive barrier, hm interesting take indeed ghostly Alice 🤔

[alice55]

I used to be self conscious as a teen and when people complimented me I didn’t believe them so I think that could be one of the reasons

[Asker]

Has that changed or are you still struggling with that?

[alice55]

It changed, I'm pretty confident now, I was insecure nearly 10 years ago to be honest, I'm much more pretty now than before

[Asker]

So it's grown your confidence I would assume, that's good tho Alice 😬👏🏼

[alice55]

Well I got a ton of compliment so even if I didn't believe them at first but I started to believe them after sometime especially since it wasn't basic common one, it was more "special one" I don't really how to explain but it wasn't just "you're pretty" but one guy told me I had a very pretty nose and I was so surprised that it made me blush and I actually believed him, it was so specific.

and yes the compliment did grown my confidence ^^

[Asker]

Okay cool that's good, has it made it easier to tell the difference between real and fake compliments? 🤔

[alice55]

I think so yes, fake compliment are usually over the top, like feel ways too much while genuine complement are usually more specific I think

[Asker]

Yea that makes sense, where I'm at they call that glazing 😂

[alice55]

They like to invent new words often XD
glazing it make me think of ice cream because in French, ice cream are called " Glace "XD

[Asker]

Too much complimenting is just glazing 😂

Don't forget the glaze donuts, the best kind to be honest lol

[alice55]

Yes XD

true those are the best one and in France we don't actually get lots of donut we just have chocolate and glaze one, glaze is so much better.

[Asker]

Ever had them when they are warm and soft, damn I'm making myself crave some glaze donuts 🙃

[alice55]

I had them warm and soft a lot as I handmade them ^^
Sometime I buy them but I like to do them myself too cause it always taste better warm
you're making me want to eat some too XD

[Asker]

Yea I'm imagining a whole dozen of em rn, but if they are cold it ruins the craving 😂

[dustybiker2]

Yes. Trauma. But it's repressed so I don't want to talk about it.

[Miah06]

There's an episode of my little pony where a new pony was causing accidentally curses and they asked fluttershy what here's was and she said in a deep manly voice "i don't wanna talk about it"
It's funny because she has the softest sweetest voice

[dustybiker2]

@Miah06 So funny 😂

[NordicInScandinavia]

In my case: trust issues.

[Asker]

So you believe they are bullshitting?

[NordicInScandinavia]

Except for selective few then yes I do, and/or question their intention for doing so.

[Asker]

So normal compliments sont exist according to you? 😂

[Asker]

Don't*

[NordicInScandinavia]

@ChicoFromThe305 they do, I have just a hard time receiving them because I got trust issues.

Good to see that is such a laughable thing to you that others struggles with something you can't understand.

I gave you another shot after the last discussion but I can see that was it. Have a good one. I'm glad you can be amused by something that actually sucks.

[Asker]

I wasn't laughing at your misfortune I was laughing at my own smart ass attitude but to be fair you seemed like a feminist man hater judging you by your first impression I wouldn't have imagined you caring all that much about trusting them or I didn't expect this subject to be such a sensitive topic to you, I apologize that me expressing my good mood with emojis made you believe I was laughing at you but I have a habit on using emojis, sometimes I don't think when I send them but fair enough, this will be our last encounter.

[NordicInScandinavia]

Sure keep laughing.

Oh no, do you mean people aren't the way you assume based on short encounters.

Keep laughing at my misfortune. But I do believe when you say you don't think before you send shit. That I have figured out.

[Asker]

I tried to apologize but alright convo ends here

[NordicInScandinavia]

You tired,. just didn't think you did a good job at it.

Ps. You can show me respect, I'm wearing uncomfortable wide jeans and a big sweater with a turtle neck - so don't get the disrespect out of nothing here.

[NordicInScandinavia]

*tried

[Asker]

I legit took accountability for my mistake and apologized, I don't know what you expect from me but you haven't seen my disrespectful side yet but keep testing my patience and you just might

[jazzy34]

Sometimes, it’s because they’re not use to it.

[Asker]

That would be one of my guesses indeed 🤔

[red-lipstick-girl]

Maybe they don't feel good about themselves

[Asker]

That might be another reason indeed 🤔

[AmeerX]

I like compliments from my Mom. Her's seem most genuine to me.

[PrettyCrumblBb]

I told you, you look like Pedro Pascal. 🩷

[AmeerX]

😌😌😌😌

[Miah06]

I think it's self esteem issues

[Asker]

Sure *pats head*

[Miah06]

Do not pat my head 😤

[Asker]

Relax *pats head*

[Miah06]

Grrr *bites at hand*

[Asker]

*Bite goes through hand* wow smh

[Miah06]

Oops

[PrettyCrumblBb]

I love compliments 🤣

[Asker]

Good *pats head* 😂

[AmeerX]

I compliment you and you don't like it 🤔

[Asker]

😂😂😂

[PrettyCrumblBb]

@AmeerX no I love it 🌹