Why is it so weird to take compliments?

Question

The other day at work was unusually good at the beginning. Like usually its a dead beginning especially when none of my favorites are there. But I started and someone told me “thank you for always lighting up the place with your positive attitude and personality. It’s nice to get someone nice here”. I’m not used to compliments like I said thank you but I was awkward. If someone knows, how do I fix being thrown off by compliments? Like even at my first job I was painfully awkward too
With compliments

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

It's normal to be thrown off by compliments... I mean I think at least 90% of every compliment I receive is being used as some sort of manipulation. That's why my immediate response to one is to question it in my brain, "Oh great, so what does this person want from me now?" Sales people get taught to do it for instance.

Like try it...“thank you for always lighting up the place with your positive attitude and personality. It’s nice to get someone nice here." Think about why they're bothering to hit you with that. They could be trying to reinforce a behavior you displayed on the lighter side, or on the darker side, they're prepping you up to be used as an example to put others on blast for not being like you... which will make people regard you as that fucking jerkoff making their lives that much more difficult. <--That's how I deal with it... I will rationalize the meaning of the compliment until it sounds pretty fucking evil.

I have to be careful because my own ego can turn into my own worst enemy. Some flirty chick, gift of gab salesman type, a bum looking for change, or any run-of-the-mill sycophant are some red flags from my perspective. They all just want something. I am not special. There is always someone better than me. Compliments roll off of me like a drop of water rolls off a ducks ass. Because if I let it fluff up my ego in any way, that's when I become manipulateable.

Like, read about narcissists... they do this behavior called "love bombing" where that's the whole point... it's all so they can further manipulate their victim.

Anyway, that's my advice on it... take it or leave it.

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

I hear that, haha, it makes me uncomfortable. This will sound self-serving, but it’s just to make the point, lmao…. so my girlfriend apparently just overrates the hell outta me, swears up and down I’m the best looking guy on the planet, which I certainly appreciate…. but COME ON😂 And that would be fine on it’s own, but we were having a cookout kind of thing one day with a bunch of people from her family (mom, grandma, sister, bro-in-law, cousin, cousin’s boyfriend, etc), and my girl brings me up for some reason. I don’t mind if you just say “I think Steve is very good looking” and move on, I hope you do…but for whatever reason she was going on for like a full minute about it, really pumping me up, going into details of what she liked about me, etc, and the other women in the group are looking at me with this goofy smile, saying they agreed (maybe they did, maybe they were just humoring her😂), and the sister and cousin are agreeing too, and I’m like “Jesus, your dudes are both RIGHT HERE. This is where you throw THEM a bone, I thought women were emotionally intelligent.”😝

So yeah, I was WICKED uncomfortable, albeit flattered, but I was getting embarrassed and just finally had to be like “ok, ok, thank you, I appreciate it, but that’s enough.” I mean, I think I look pretty decent, but not like “this is a topic of conversation”, lmao, these people need to get out more😂😂😂

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

We’re in either societies of parts of the planet that put others down deliberately, which becomes some type of “norm,” or on parts of the planet where there are many requirements in order to receive good things and things to cover basic needs. Competition is found everywhere from markets, and all, and these mainstream things leave little-to-no-room for sympathy, compassion, unity, and embracing the accomplishments of milestones. Like personal ones*.

The only ones that get publicly acknowledged are the graduations of school grads, survivors of lethal illnesses, and those who change the world in a drastic (observable) way. It’s difficult, and rarely seen. We always see: what has to improve to receive, and maybe mentally hear what those negative critics say, so the positive words and recognition just feels unnatural.

Many people feel unworthy because of:

peer statuses and inclusivity

and

economics and classes

no one feels *worthy* if they don’t see their impact on others, or have a certain level of wealth and popularity.

Even if they’re good in heart and quite capable- talented in multifaceted ways, they would think “something is wrong,” mentally. If they received compliments out of the blue.

Unfortunate, but thankfully, there’s ways to combat this and it’s already been brought to many different people’s attention.

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

It's probably related to some experiences earlier in your life. Getting compliments means someone is focusing on you, your behavior. Maybe in your earlier life it not always was a good sign? Like too high expectations and getting attention only if you did something wrong. Or any other scenario, when getting attention doesn't bring positive memories. It's a starting point in many cases. Another thing is low self-esteem and not accepting compliments because you don't believe they are genuine.

Always the first step is to memorise ways of thanking the compliment giver. And waiting getting used to with awkwardness of the moment.

You can also address the problem to the specialist, just be aware, such things are mostly effects of much deeper existing problems :D of course it's the best to address and solve them ASAP

Oliverlogan263 · Answer

Dude, taking compliments is totally weird, I feel you! Sometimes people say nice stuff and you're just like "uhhh... thanks?"

I think it's cuz we're not used to hearing it. Like we're not expecting someone to randomly say something good about us out of nowhere. Throws us off guard!

Few tips though - practice saying "thanks, I appreciate that" when someone compliments your clothes or whatever. Keep it chill. Or you can deflect with a joke like "haha got lucky I brushed my hair today!" Gets the awkwardness out.

Also remember - they said something nice cuz they mean it! Don't downplay it like "nah I'm not that great." Own it, nod and smile. Makes you seem confident even if your brain's freaking out.

And don't stress so much what you say back. A smile and thanks is all anyone expects. You got this bro, compliments will get easier the more you get used to it. Keep doing you!

RavVid · Answer

One of the guy girl differences is that women get far more compliments though it has reduced since MeToo and they believe the compliments. Guys on the other hand don't believe compliments from women.

I saw some stats on this last night. So you are just having the standard male reaction. Deep down I think we know that the woman wants something from us and that is why the hairs on our neck stand up..

I think all you can do is say thank you in a bright cheerful way whilst you madly figure out what she wants.

HawkPerception · Answer

It's the same for me man. I always used to be extremely awkward receiving compliments and back in the past, I'd do the worst thing you could do... deflect. I used to say "No that's not true. There's tons of people better than me out there." Or "No I'm not attractive. Models are way better looking than me." Or "I'm not the best at piano." That kind of stuff. And it's the least attractive type of response you can give.

Seeing as you did not deflect anything and said thanks, you're fine. Just get into the habit of graciously accepting compliments. Saying "Thanks. I really appreciate that!" or "I'm flattered you think that way!" It comes across as much more confident and tactful and also helps improve your own confidence. As with everything, it gets easier with time and practice!

7Phoenix7 · Answer

It feels weird for you because you're not used to it. And may deal with a little bit of self esteem issues. To get better at taking a compliment, I'd say start recognizing all the good things about yourself, the good things you do, and if noone tells you about it, still take the time to see your good deeds and give yourself credit. If someone compliments you, you won't feel as weird if you believe the compliment to be true already.

bolverk · Answer

Its not surprising that you feel weird when you receive a complement, just think back and see how many compliments you've received in the past, I'll guarantee its between few and none, with none being the most likely.

Guys rarely if ever receive a complement and if they do it’s from another guy about a job he’s been doing.

Women rarely if every complement a man, and if they do we know it a precursor to wanting you to do/pay for something, so we automatically look for the hook buried inside the complement.

DreamCrescent · Answer

you did good

the correct response is thank you for saying that. that’s very kind. I’m glad you feel that way, i actually love doing it.” now that the awkwardness of first receiving the praise, being surprised and not knowing what to say, that’s over

you’ll do better the next time and have something in mind as a response

now go get them!

it’s not just you. is awkward for anyone when we’re caught a bit off guard by someone else’s kindness/attention

Beckybooboo · Answer

It’s like a couple people have said, guys just aren’t used to getting compliments and can actually be embarrassed by them. I also think, in all honesty, when it comes down to it, most men are actually humble. They love compliments from people they love and/or respect but really don’t care about people they have no attachment to. That’s what I’ve been told anyway. 😉

Anonymous · Answer

We've been taught, a lot of us, that taking credit for things or acknowledging ourselves is tantamount to bragging and should not be done. For others, it's the spotlight of someone noticing us and highlighting us when we don't desire that, that makes it awkward.

Account · Answer

I feel the same as you and still haven't found an answer. I always feel uncomfortable when I receive compliments.
I don't even think that I have a bad relationship with myself, so I don't know from where it stems from in order to fix it.

JacobJordan · Answer

Guys almost only receive compliments from people that want something. That's why it feels weird. Solution is to normalize compliments for men for no other reason than to make him smile.

Hotmodelwloser · Answer

This joker thinks he’s lke a supermodel prob beats his girlfriend and breaks 3 to 7 promsies a day hahahaha

Arush9 · Answer

It's not weird but if i get compliments from anyone  ( inner me: plsz pass those same compliments in my absence also)

CozyCoffin · Answer

It's understandable. I've been complemented on my eyes, but only by women old enough to be my grandma and some of my friends so I don't believe them. They're just being nice.

DaBiggestBird · Answer

It’s easier when you are secure enough to absolutely agree. Have an attitude like, “that’s right, I am just that amazing, thanks. Sometimes I even surprise myself since I’m just so great”.

sage2021 · Answer

If you just smile and say "Thank you" that should suffice 🙂

Sonorous · Answer

I just don't know how to respond to "you're funny" 🤣

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

I love getting compliments and I almost believe in all of them hehe

laly520 · Answer

not weird in my opinion unless its from someone we dont want to get compliments from

HouseMoat · Answer

If you don't get them often, it's hard to know how to react when you do

Tomisworthless · Answer

I’ve never been complimented only things I own like. Nice car or nice sweatshirt

NathanDavis · Answer

you'll get used to it

RedInnocent68 · Answer

Because everyone has imposter syndrome.

ienjoylookingatgreen · Answer

You don't feel it's genuine

PrettyCrumblBb · Answer

Don't compliment make you happy?

bobalife · Answer

Owning it :)

DreamLife7 · Answer

You're insecure

Why is it so weird to take compliments?

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