What are the things you are shameless about?

[bear34]

[WhiteSteve]

Hmmm…I’d say maybe letting myself rage out publicly? Lmao, hear me out, I don’t think it’s quite as bad as it sounds😅

I have a very explosive temper. It’s hard to get me there…. or maybe it’s better said that it’s not necessarily hard to get me there, but that situation, you’d need to go out of your way to push me to it. I don’t flip out on people for bumping into me or not saying “thank you” when I held a door for someone, haha. You have to go out of your way to disrespect me.

These days, it mostly comes out in hockey. I may be just frustrated at myself for poor play (more likely a cumulative thing, not just one bad play alone), or someone disrespects me or a teammate and/or gets physical. Then I can FLIP, lmao. And I don’t really care who sees it or what anyone thinks of me afterwards.

I kind of have a pet peeve about people blaming a loud or ugly “effect”, when the real culprit is the “cause” that was probably more quiet and less attention-grabbing, but the reason that there had to be a flare up in the first place. The societal onus shouldn’t be on me to restrain myself in my defensive response, but rather on you to not go on the offense and run afoul of me in such an egregious way that it would evoke an angry or even violent response.

And if it’s just self-frustration, let me air out what I need to air out. I don’t live for you and your comfort in public spaces, lmao. If the worst thing that happens to you all day is you have to see me scream and maybe hit some inanimate object for a max of like ten seconds, then I’d say you had a pretty fuckin’ good day😂 People got crippled in car accidents or given a terminal medical diagnosis today; don’t be so sensitive and count your damn stars that today wasn’t the worst day of your life like it was for someone else.

I’m kinda kidding, but I’m also pretty serious🤷‍♂️

But yeah…. I’ve been know to…uh….”express myself”😅….

I’ve played in three separate leagues, and I recently realized in all three, I’m known as “Crazy Steve”, just independently arrived at three times, lmfao🙃 So I guess if the shoe fits🤷‍♂️….😅😅😅

But yeah, oddly, I actually am very aware about how I’m coming off in public with others; I’m uncommonly polite, I try to be very respectful, etc. But when someone violates, I don’t care what anyone thinks anymore; I just kind of snap, hahaha. I honestly almost never feel bad about it afterwards, either. Maybe if a little kid happens to see or something. But adults? Talk to the guy who pissed me off, not me. And if I’m self-pissed, just back up and let me get it out, leave me alone if I’m sulky afterwards, and I’ll come back around when my brain decides it’s ready. And I don’t alter or speed up my natural processing time for anybody. If it’s shameless, call it shameless; because I am UNashamed, lmao

[bear34]

You explained yourself perfectly. Sometimes people reach a breaking point. They overlook the underlying reason here; the reaction didn't come out of nowhere. I understand you very well. They are simply reaping the consequences of their own disrespect. What do they expect from you—to thank them for being disrespectful? Haha.

[WhiteSteve]

Appreciate that, man🙏 You get it 👊

[senor_bacon]

Being myself.
I think it's odd that people contort themselves because of other's opinions, or how they to be treated, or not taken seriously.

Some or most people would do nothing if you passed out in front of them. They would call EMS, but they're not doing CPR or mouth-to-mouth.

But everyday people hide themselves inside.
I think it's crazy.

You can think whatever you want about me, and you will regardless.

Would it be worth it to earn someone's trust? Approval?
You don't necessarily "have" it permanently. Depends.

[bear34]

You are totally right. Thanks for good answer.

[Nikki1989]

I have very little filter, so it is a constant struggle having to keep my mouth shut in certain situations, especially in the work environment.

[bear34]

I think it’s a good trait that you don’t hold back your words. I’m sure you really struggle in formal situations, like a professional work environment, though. I feel like you’re the type of person who could verbally crush someone.

[Nikki1989]

I have been guilty of that many times.

[bear34]

Why?

[Abbycado]

Well, getting ready around my roommates. You kinda half to be.

[bear34]

Yes you are right lady. You must be used to this situation.

[Abbycado]

Yep. Four girls trying to get ready in the morning with one bathroom is not ideal. At first, it was awkward.

You soon get used to it out of necessity.

[bear34]

I imagine the bathrooms are small, too. It must be really difficult for four girls.

[Abbycado]

You are right. Last year’s was a bit better than the first one we had. We had a decent system worked out.

One girl would shower and then use the sink area to do hair, makeup, etc. While she is doing that, another showers. Just kind of rotate as you finish one thing.

Best we can do.

[bear34]

You’ve created a great system that is efficient in terms of time. Was it your idea?

[Abbycado]

We all just talked about the best way to do it. Everyone had input.

We did it in a way so that the girl I shared one of the bedrooms with was done and could change in private while I was showing.

Our other two roommates did the same. Worked out well. At least as good as could.

We got lucky and get a campus built apartment this year. The bathroom setup is even better. The toilet and shower are in their own room with a door. Outside is a double vanity. Plenty of space for two girls at one time.

We all get our own bedrooms too, which will be amazing.

[mat566]

@Abbycado as long as they are girls I think it's fine

[Abbycado]

@mat566 it is just girls. Nothing we ain’t seen before.

[mat566]

@Abbycado True! Is anyone of them pain in the ass?

[Abbycado]

@mat566 no! Not at all. I don’t know how we got so lucky. Many people switch roommates after the first year.

We stuck together because we get along so well. That is rare when you consider we were four random girls.

Sticking together is what enabled us to get an apartment this year. The school places priority on those that stay together because they know they won’t have issues.

[mat566]

@Abbycado I agree with you. You four are lucky. Since you all are in an apartment now, how do you all sleep? In the same room or different?

[Abbycado]

@mat566 I’m not back to school yet. With an apartment, we each get our own room. We still share a bathroom, but the layout is nicer. We also have a full kitchen.

The dorm last year is two bedrooms, two girls per room, a bathroom and a common area. This year is a big upgrade.

[mat566]

@Abbycado seems like since you have more privacy now you can have your partner over for a sleepover in your room

[Abbycado]

@mat566 yep! Definitely.

[mat566]

@Abbycado wanna take our convo to DMs?

[bear34]

In hard situations, you manage to find a way out by staying calm and thinking things through properly. Even if you don't realize it, this has given you valuable experience. I think you’ve definitely earned that new apartment with separate rooms and a separate bathroom and toilet now 😄

[Abbycado]

@bear34 we definitely get a huge upgrade this year for sticking together as a group. Very exciting.

[bear34]

I hope your wonderful group stays together. If it does fall apart, though, it’s usually because of guys😄

[RavVid]

Being a smart arse.

[bear34]

Thanks.

[RavVid]

You're welcome.

[Pterodon]

Rock and Roll played very loudly

[bear34]

Thanks.

[Agape93]

Anything I do.

[bear34]

Good answer. When you are being shemaless, what things do you enjoy, and what things upset you?

[Agape93]

Like i said, anything. I dont feel shame, regret or fear. Biologically, I can't. As for what angers me? Plenty, but mostly sex offenders being alive. That makes my blood boil.

[bear34]

You are getting angry about a very valid issue. Can we say that, in general, you don't have feelings? You said you can't do it biologically. I was curious about that.

[Agape93]

I do have feelings, just not certain ones, and the ones I have tend to range in the extremes or come off differently to others than myself.

Like, I do love. To me, say I love @SecretsofKB to death. I would kill for her if she asked me to, and I won't feel a thing later. Why? Because she's one of mine, like everyone else who's happiness and wellbeing i try to nurture.

But fear, shame, jealousy and regret? Nothing. I dont know what they feel like nor do they make sense to me.

[bear34]

It is a wonderful thing to regard people as part of your own family, and I am sure that takes time. Perhaps you simply haven't experienced an event that would trigger a genuine sense of regret. Let's say you do something for a loved one—or anyone, really—thinking it is an act of kindness, but it ends up causing them harm or leading to a bad outcome; how would you feel then? Might you say, "I wish I hadn't done that"? That is what regret is. If you do not feel regret—if you do not wish you hadn't done it—then it implies you did not care that the person you loved was harmed by the outcome. That seems like a contradiction.

[Agape93]

I would care theyre hurt by it, but that doesn't trigger regret or shame. I have aspd, and similar has happened. My inability to help one of my friends many years ago, contributed to her suicide. I miss her, I know i should have done more than I did. I missed signs I shouldn't have. But I don't feel anything except missing her, even that's gotten quieter over time.

While it has benefits, it makes life harder in many ways, because it's hard for me to really connect to anyone, or feel like a person.

[bear34]

Firstly i'm sorry for you lost. I didn't mean to remind you of your friend, and I wasn't aware of your specific situation. Unfortunately, sometimes there is nothing we can do; we just have to accept it and move forward. Thank you very much for your sincere answers.

[Agape93]

you're fine, of anyone you're not going to upset me lol

Anytime. Lately its easier to just explain shit, doing otherwise just seems to cause misunderstandings in others

[bear34]

Yes, sometimes you might need to speak openly. You know how people are—we’re curious. We like to probe into situations that don't quite make sense to us or that strike us as unusual.

[Agape93]

Yeap.

[bear34]

Thanks for answers lady.