My boyfriend talks crazy when he's drunk

[Anonymous]

it's starting to scare me so much.

im literally watching him spiral out of control. sometimes when he gets drunk he talks about killing himself and twice he said killing me. he doesn't say it violently.

he'll say "maybe that'll be better huh? if we both were dead"

I say you know that's not true or what's wrong and he'll shrug it off and say "well I'm only saying.." or something like that. I don't like when he gets like this and I don't know what to do exactly. he makes me cry when he says those things sometimes and he'll tell me it's okay and I need to stop.

i need to get him help or something but I just really don't know who I should go to or what to do. please help.

[billy_young]

Have you tried talking to him about it when he's sober? I imagine it would be a difficult issue to bring up, but it could be the only way you'll get answers. If you have tried talking to him about it when sober and he just shrugs it off and says it's nothing, try telling him that it's really important to you, that you won't laugh or judge him, you won't tell anyone else if you don't have to, you won't dump him or anything like that and emphasise that it upsets and even scares you to see him like that. That's what I'd do. If he still refuses to talk, then tbh there's not much you can do I don't think that won't make things worse. If he's got a really good friend, you could try talking to them about it, but he might gep upset or feel betrayed if you do that. Same for his family, you could mention it but he might not be happy about it.

Does he seem depressed at all when he's not drunk? If he does then you could try searching for some sort of depression helpline on the internet and give them a call and they might be able to give you professional advice on what to do. You could do this anyway. If he doesn't seem depressed at all, and he has never actually done anything physical, only talked about it a bit when he's really drunk, then maybe just forget about it. In fact, no, I think you should call some sort of helpline and get advice. Because if it only even happens when he's really drunk, it's probably some deep feeling he has that's never likely to have any effect on his life, but it alternatively, it could be something serious, or there could be something you or him or other people can do to get over it.

I hope this helps.

Let me know if you want anymore advice or if there's anything else I can do to help :)

P.S. my ex went through quite a depressed stage when she was really down all the time and she told me she had dreams every night about dying and about this dead girl, and she even saw this girl and these weird creatures sometimes in the day. I begged and pleaded for her to talk to her doctor or her family about it, but she wouldn't. Sometimes you just have to offer them the love and support that you can, and respect their wishes. I judged that it wasn't likely to have any serious negative outcome if I just didn't tell anyone, and that if I did tell someone she would really hate me for it and not trust me, so I just supported her however I could and she slowly got out of it herself. However, in your cae, because he's talking about killing himself and things, it might be worth just getting some more professional advice (like Samaritans in the UK).

Hope everything goes OK :) Let me know!

[Anonymous]

Do you live with him? Does he have any weapons in the house?

Call your local suicide prevention hotline or non-emergency police number immediately. They can help you and direct you to resources to get your boyfriend some help.

[Anonymous]

Is he an alcoholic. I know when my brother gets drunk he talks about how he wants to kill himself. It's very disturbing and concerning. The best thing you can do for him is to ask to him, ask him to drink less.