Being in a relationship with a Special Forces Soldier?

[Anonymous]

Guys and Girls, I know people have relationships in the military I just want to know how it works out I guess.

I've known this girl for a while now but I just don't know what's best for her. I guess it's not for me to decide, that's her choice but still.

I'm in the military and my MOS is Special Forces. I really don't know how to ask this question honestly. I want to be with this girl but I know that I'm gonna be on deployment and my job is a high risk job. Especially since I started service a only little while ago.

I care about her but I also don't want to hurt her and being alone hurts.

Like I said I'm not sure how to ask this question. I want to Marry her before my next orders come through.

Would you be in a relationship with someone from the military?

I guess that's the question.

Updates

+1 y

Thank you all for your responses, I really appreciate the info and feedback. We talked about it, and it's not a really yes or no kind of thing. It's more of a lets just keep in touch and see how it works out. Were not together though and it's her choice so I respect that. Still hurts but if it's not something she wants to deal with it I wouldn't wanna put her in that position. We'll keep in touch, things might change.

Heart Breaking though.

[Anonymous]

I think you just found a wrong one.. I had a husband but opposite special forces.. he was in criminal... And then i found out also drug user.. and he had only me, im the only person who could gave him hope, save him and change life.. And when i knew truth i had a choice or to left him or stay and support in his crisis - i chosen the second.. And we live together - he could be away for few days/weeks - and I did not know where is he.. Just I accepted him which he is with all his problems and tried to help.. And all time was at home and just pray for him and waitied.. Was hard but I loved and wait.. and he needed me. And actually i was supported him all life i knew him started from friendship 10 years together.. Now we are not together already - I left him , but coz of narkotics and not kept promices - not coz he often away... And still sometimes I call and try to support that person in difficult moments for him - and I am the best friend of his whole life and he was always appriciated for my patience ( at least he says so ).. if I love person - i ready to wait, and can manage everything.. In your case - i think just she has no strong feeling. I am sure - you will find the right One.. Not be upset! this is my life - we can not know whats happiness if not know whats pain. We would never miss if nobody goes away and then come back to us .. Its nice life emotions )

[Darkfairie17]

My bf's in the military. He is away right now getting some training, and I do miss him. But I do not feel alone. We still send text messages and talk on MSN whenever we can. It doesn't bother me because I know he loves me and we will see each other again soon enough! It is hard to have a relationship with someone who is away. But for me I haven't had a lot of issues. I am the type of person who does not have to be with my boyfriend every day. I know that he has to do his job, but I know that soon he will be back with me again :D So it makes me happy and not feel bad that he isn't with me everyday.

You just have to work this all out with each other. Have her send letters, get in contact with her as much as possible. Some girls cannot handle this type of relationship. Most of my friends wouldn't be able to. They want to spend every moment with their boyfriend. But for me, as much as I would like to, I realize that he has a job he has to do. I can't expect him to be home all the time. I am happy that he wants to be with me. I realize he is going to come back and that makes it all worth it.

Your job is dangerous, but so is just living. I could get hit by a bus today for all I know. But at least I decided to take the risk and have a relationship with my boyfriend. You never know unless you try.

[Dovahbear]

talk to her about it

It can be stressful since you ll be away for long . It ll be a little tricky since you'll be in a long distance relationship. It ll be hard and the only thing that will help it work is trust and understanding.

But you ll have to tell her that it will be potentially risky

If I love that person very much I would be in a relationship with him .

but also get the fact that if she thinks about it long term then she may not want to risk being with you if she might lose you.

Goodluck :-)

[Dovahbear]

it ll be fine. just start moving on asap. the more you hold onto her the more difficult it might be .

for what its worth , you are doing the right thing by respecting her decision.

[Brando]

I've known a hand full of SF guys and it never seems to work out with them. They're either training too much or deployed. I spoke to a SEAL once and he said it works for him but he hasn't had a relationship in the last 10 years or so. He said "I'm gone too long and get paid too much to stop" lol

[Pete671]

If she really loves you she'll be ok with your absence,

[susie22]

I'm sure it hurts, and I'm sorry for that, but it's always best to be honest up front. Just food for thought, my Dad is a long time Navy Seal officer and my Mom is an Orthopedic Surgeon, they dated through College, got married just before Dad's first deployment. They survived multiple deployments that Dad could not discuss and have been very happily married for 25 years now, so it is possible. Don't lose hope, if it's meant to be she will understand that, but if not, the right girl is out there somewhere.

[HotPepper302]

My ex was in the military. He was deployed to Afghanistan for 8 months during our relationship... It was tough being apart, but I actually think it made our relationship stronger, 'cause we realized how much we missed each other. Of course it's not easy knowing that your partner's life is at risk... But it's worth it, if he's a keeper. Don't worry about what's best for her; she's a big girl now, and that's her choice to make (although I'm sure she'd appreciate your concern, and the fact that you're thinking about things from her perspective as well). Good luck!

[Anonymous]

One of my cousins is in a relationship with a guy in special forces. She's in med school though so she has a lot on her plate that keeps her busy. I know it is hard but they seem to make it work. I think most girls feel that being in a relationship with someone in the military is not the ideal situation, but if it's the right person they would be willing to make it work.

[texasbombluv]

It's just as tough for you soldiers as it is for us civilians... It is what it is and we'll see what happens is the only way I can deal with my soldier... it's so hard on him and him being gone and me never knowing what might happen is so hard on me :/