My girlfriend gets angry about my sleep patterns, how should I deal with it?

[madhatters4]

This seems like a non-issue to me, but my girlfriend definitely seems to get irritated by it.

I'm a night owl, particularly on weekends when I don't have any reason to wake up early. During the work week I go to bed around 1am and on weekend around 3am maybe later.

My girlfriend on the other hand goes to bed around 11pm during the week and maybe 1am on weekends.

Fundamentally we have a different outlook. She doesn't like to sleep in cause she feels like she misses stuff in the mornings and I personally just like staying up late and love sleep in late if I can. Nonetheless the difference appears to definitely bother my girlfriend, she'll occasionally throw out in an argument how I "always" stay up late or how I sleep in too late.

It seems to me I should be able to go to sleep and wake up when I want the same way she goes to sleep and wakes up when she wants.

Has anyone dealt with this issue? How did you handle it?

Or does anyone just have any suggestions in general?

Updates

+1 y

i should've mentioned. my girlfriend has some issues getting sleep. like she can't cuddle or be near someone. when we sleep it is on opposite sides of the bed and she doesn't like cuddling or spooning while she's falling asleep (cause she said it keeps her awake, I personally love a good spoon sesh). This issue has made me feel like I don't need to be in bed at the same time as her since there is no physical closeness or contact as we drift off to sleep

[TwinkleTwilight]

How long have you been going out? I remember when my b.f and I first moved in we were kinda on the same sleeping pattern but sometimes I just could not hang. I see your point and if she feels she will miss things in the mornings than that is on her lost of sleep. But falling asleep with your partner for a girl means a lot and helps us fall asleep so maybe ask her if that is part of the issue and lay with her or ask her to lay her head on your lap and fall asleep during a movie or video games w.e. But as for you sleeping in she just has to get over it. Men need more sleep than woman although we could use and I know it is because you are staying up late as well and she just feels she's missing out on time with you! on weekends I always let my husband sleep in before kids I was there with him and now they are older he can't sleep until 3 4 as much but I still let him until the kids beg lol.. I would just try and have a talk and see what is bothering her the most about it and not to be afraid to tell you what is bothering her. I mean every now again why don't you go to bed semi early and get up around 11 and take her to brunch. If you do this every now again I am sure she will stop or eventually just get used to it where it won't bother her. Good Luck but really try that it will win you over some more sleep and give her the attention she is missing!

[madhatters4]

thanks! I do make a point to make sure I'm up at a time when we could go to breakfast/brunch. she says she understands that it's just different strokes for different folks but I guess something about it still bothers her. I like and will def try the idea of cuddling before she goes to bed while watching a movie, show, etc. Will definitely give it a shot

[TwinkleTwilight]

Well I did read your update, and wow that's a first but understandable sometimes we just like to get comfy and fall asleep! I mean I do that but if you can still get up a reasonable time after staying up until 3 am or w.e than I give you credit and she shouldn't be that up tight. Deff talk and ask her to tell you could it be pleasuring yourself that could be bothering her? But deff try it unless she is just the type to not like that which could be a good thing but you still need to ask her what's botherin

[Racez]

I think she just wants to spend time with you in the bed before going to sleep. Why not give her the favor until she dozes off , and continue what you are doing?

[madhatters4]

thanks for your response, I know what you mean...

I would love this. I'm a big fan of snuggling. She actually doesn't like snuggling, because she has lots of trouble sleeping so she has to get into this particular spot/mode/position etc so she can fall asleep...I think that is part of the reason why I felt OK with not going to bed at the same time because when we do it's like the 1950s while we are in the same bed it's like the Brady's I stay on my side she stays on hers