Unaffectionate women can they change and why are they that way?

[Anonymous]

if a girl is not affectionate is there any chance she can change and is there a reason to why she's that way

Updates

+1 y

I wanna help her, and treat her properly and care for her so I'm willing to invest as much time on her because I care about her infact I love her

[Anonymous]

I'm not affectionate.

I wasn't raised that way. I was raised to be hard to the world, to not feel things outwardly. My family is very emotionless and, if we even talk to each other, it's rarely anything significant.

I had never been hugged until my boyfriend hugged me. I'm slowly learning how to be affectionate towards him. Thank goodness he's a very patient person or else I'd never have a boyfriend.

I'm not affectionate because that's not how I was raised. I was not babied as a child. I was trampled by our 8 horses when I was 5 years old. Did my mom care? No, she yelled at me for being an idiot and banned me from the barn. I cut up my entire body in an accident involving a scooter, a car, and a tree when I was 10 and all my dad said was, "Toughen up, bucko."

I wasn't raised to be attuned to people's emotions or sensitive to their feelings or reasons behind things.

I have a sad life, lol, I'm aware.

I'm slowly becoming affectionate because I like my boyfriend and he likes affection. So in order to keep him around, I am affectionate.

[ThenThereWas1]

Often when a person lacks to be affectionate, it's their way of putting up walls or boundaries. This person may be custom to not truly letting people in. And this behavior could be because, but is not limited to, an emotionally (or neglecting, physically, or sexually) abusive relationship with a family member/members or an influential person in their life.

Can they change? In most cases yes. It's not easy though. This person needs to go on a journey of self-discovery. They need to find the root of their emotional issues, find out why they are the way they are. And why they react to affection the way that they do. They should also come up with an emotional goal. What do they wish they acted like? etc.. It's all very complicated, therapy is very helpful.

[ThenThereWas1]

The anonymous user below me is a perfect example to their distance being due to an abusive relationship with their family. It's usually the parents. It was for me.

[Jaybabe77]

I think it depends on if they truly want to be more affectionate towards a person. It may be because she's afraid of being hurt, rejected or let down. Tell her how you feel in a calm, non-combative way.