Honestly i think it comes down to gende roles and the collapse of the family unit.
There was a time when male and female roles were clearly defined as our country has gotten more progressive ( not in itself a bad thing) those roles have become blurred.
Women sought out a guy that could provide the best life for them. Now women are empowered and have many options But due to the collapse of the family structure, many single parent households prevail. A woman's first model for what a man is comes from here father ( not surprising many women seek out attributes in a mate that her father had). But in a family where the father is absent she doesn't have that rile model. Maybe even to make things worse her mommy is bringing a different guy every week. So she's learning how to be a woman... from that!
So to return to my previous point you have a woman with options and a very vague idea of what it means to be a woman entering the dating scene. So she falls back on het genetic programming. Which is seek out the most gifted male to carry on her genes. In other words handsome. Search out the guy that separates himself from the pack a leader, a hunter someone who's going to provide. In modern terms a guy that projects confidence. Neither of these choices are wrong but this guy has his pick of 50 other women. And why pick one if you can have all 50. Remember my earlier point she had no father, no role model, she has no idea what a good man looks and acts like. And lacking that all important in self respect her father would have instilled in her and her mother eroded away if she ever had any. This young lady buys every word this amooth talking handsome guy says. If she's lucky she doesn't get pregnant. But either way she gets tossed to the side after he's had his fun. This happens again and again. Wash, rinse, repeat, until either she wises up and learns to see through the BS or until she becomes so bitter and jaded she doesn't trust any guy. Not realizing all along the power was all in her hands she's rhe one who said "no" to every decent guy and "yes" to every "f***boy". But somehow in her mind ALL guys are to blame for her mistakes.
I hope that helps.
What’s your typical approach and what do you look like, how do you dress? I get my fair amount of rejection but not enough to take it personal.
I’m a black American, 5’5 muscular. I guess my top three personality traits are goofy, intelligent and confident. I date mostly white women so that’s where I’m pulling the majority of my experience from.
Rarely do I meet women who are cold or straight up rude. They’re usually polite and pleasant. I’ll say about 75% are pleasant, 15% are busy or going through something and 10% are just either jaded with men or rude in general.
Even with the girls who reject me it’s usually with class. Some even apologize for saying no. Some do give fake numbers but I don’t take that personal anymore after I was educated on how much harassment women go through. A fake number is just a way to avoid confrontation and unpredictable scenarios.
But I do get dates. My strategy is patience and persistence. I meet girls that catch my eye and eventually I meet one that likes me. I’ve never NOT gotten a date. The only time I don’t get dates is when I get in my own way (negative thinking/not trying). But once I’m out of my own head I get dates fairly quick and easily.
Because women no more feel comfortable being approached, there are just too many fuckboys out there. I firmly believe that when extramarital sex becomes easier to get, marriage and long term relationships become harder. You no more know who wants you for sex, who wants you for your money, and trust me, it feels extremely risky to respond to any man ever. Some of us just don't wanna deal with this shit anymore and prefer to be left alone. I'll admit, I'm quite a bitch to unknown boys. I don't give a rats shit what they think, just how the public won't give a rats shit to how I would feel if I responded and somehow ended up getting 'used' by that man and everyone would be blaming it on me for being stupid enough to go out with that jerk. Just telling you the harsh reality of life, buddy.
Also, even though every single person embraces the tradition of the man making the first move, we all forgot a small thing that used to happen prior to a man making the move. Normally it used to be the woman dropping a handkerchief or something else, the man would pick it, approach her with 'excuse me you dropped something' and start a conversation from there. No one tells women anymore to drop that handkerchief. Women no more open that scope for men to approach them and start a conversation. So even men can't tell who wants to be approached and who doesn't.
I never understood guys who will just come up and ask for a number and expect her to think "yeah sure I totally get by the way you keep looking me up and down with nothing but lust in your eyes that you are someone looking for a serious relationship and not just sex! I totally get that you are sure our personalities would match just by staring at me for 5 seconds straight! You must be right who cares if I don't feel anything for you let's just go on a date cause everyone deserves a chance!"
Also staring at someone doesn't mean you're interested, there are plenty reasons that would make an eye contact happen.
Now it's pretty sad if you automatically want to get in a relationship with anyone you find semi attractive, that's quite desperate and not the way to go.
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Before I continue this... No, I am not bitter. And yes, I have a girlfriend I have been dating for years. What I am about to say is from pure experience in my past.
First off... let me tell you why I choose my girlfriend. She was EASY to talk to. She seemed INTERESTED. She CONVEYED her interest. She didn't wait on me hand and foot and made her OWN decisions.
Why am I telling you all this? Because this is where women fail in dating.
Women think dating is all about them and it's not. Here are the top three things I hear from women:
1. Men have no social skills and can't hold a decent conversation.
2. Men who are under 6 feet shouldn't even talk to me.
3. Men have no idea how to date these days.
These are the top 3 things I hear from women... yet, these are always the same women I see pregnant by a man who has no real value (a loser) or they always date some type of scummy man.
A lot of women put a emphasis on their looks and they think that is what makes them a prize, so they instantly cut off men they perceive as "low value" when in fact, a lot of these men are high value.
Those are the types of women you don't want to date. If you find yourself talking to a woman and she is playing hard to get, making you do everything and making you drive the conversation, just leave.
There are women out there who know that looks aren't their only sticking point and will converse with you, show interest and show their intelligence. Those are the types of women you want to date.
There’s a theory that average and below average women get so much attention from azz kissers online that it has inflated their egos. Now a woman who is a 5 thinks that she deserves a 9 or 10 level man.
Also these women are getting sex from 9s & 10s due to online stuff. This also inflates their sense of worth relative to the average guy.
But when these women try to get into a serious relationship the higher value guys aren’t interested. Actually more and more average guys aren’t interested either because they remember how ‘she’ rejected him time & time again.
This all comes to a head when the woman hits the wall... that is when her looks decline and high value guys don’t even want her for sex.
This is why there’s talk of a future point in time when (many) women will have zero options. An apocalypse.
Honestly? We're sick of guys seeming interested but only interest in a one night stand or "talking" to 24 different women. We're sick of thinking we 're dating this great guy only to find out he's constantly talking to other women online or liking their photos or flirting on social media. We're sick of people taking advantage of us when we're being nice and then getting mad because we smiled and were polite but didn't want to sleep with them. We're told we're sluts and flirts and teases 24/7. If we don't put out, we're prudes. Its just easier to be cold hearted when you're a modern woman. Besides, we all have the expectations of having to work PLUS taking care or the household and still looking "hot". We're just tired.
It's all a test
How tough are you and how badly do you want to talk to me.
Seriously though, it's too many options. I could walk in to pretty much any place right this moment and ask any guy in there for sex, and they'd likely say yes.
So why with those options, why should I choose just anyone?
I'm not saying I do that, I don't, but there's a big reason for what you're encountering.
Personally I try to be friendly, even if I'm not interested, because I know it takes courage to come risk it.
Unless you're a bro and you come at me guns blazing, with that overconfidence of "i go to the gym all the time, check these lats"
Then I will crush you, because, no.
Watch some videos and read some GAG's to see the reality of their life. I think population density, culture, upbringing and propagated trauma have influenced. They get hit on, abused, sexually abused, are weaker and so more easily hurt, they are emotional creatures and often receive many rounds of trauma as they grow, discover opposite sex, date, get hurt, raped, date raped, drug threat, verbal abuse, cat calls, groped, mis treated, devalued, played emotionally. They hold the keys to the kingdom of pro creation and they hold it close (or should). They can get the same routine over and over... players, liers, unmature guys, narcissitic selfish pricks, guys who are just nuts, ones that ask for nudes and send unsolicited pics.
Then... when you walk up as a nice gentleman, they are supposed to light up and be kind! Not so fast, not so easy.
Women of today have very high and foul egos, because they know society glorifies them, so they figure they can act however they want and be rude to men because they think they can always get one at any time. It also doesn't help that the bacteria of female narcississm has grown badly over the last few decades from praise and from society excusing them from most wrongs.
"While not always, many women will stare at me, but when I approach either act cold, give one-word answers, or react nervously, but can't carry on a conversation."
- This has been my experience in the past as well, and the thing about it is that these women wait for you to say something to them just so they can act like that on purpose. It gives them a sense of satisfaction that they can brush off a guy just for talking to them.
It could be many many things, ha shit it could even be your imagination, however I know from having mostly female friends that being approached by a random dude can be anything from irritating to outright scary, I've seen guys talk to girls and even a slight hint she isn't interested ends in him spewing a flurry or the foulest insults they can think, I once got into a scrap with a guy for walking past my best friend, grabbing her ass and when she said fuck off he called her a fucking slut, interactions like this I feel make many females feel nervous in some situations that are perceived as an attempt to "pick them up", ha I usually let females make the first move when striking up a conversation or what not, key tip is don't just approach them and try to "pick up" let interactions and relationships naturally come about
Because we KNOW why you are trying to approach us and we don't want to be 'approached' that way. If a guy only approaches me to date me, I will act distant or cold. If I don't trust them, yes, I will react nervously. That's why I feel comfort in male friends because at least they don't do that to me with poor intent. It's not your social skills. Its that fact that you are a complete stranger attempting to 'get to know us' when we may not desire that. A stranger asking us to open up will send alarm bells going for we do not know you. At the same time, while not all men are bad, most of you do the same thing other creeps do. This is what most women feel and many guys don't care to respect that. The other part is feminism and others being arrogant towards guys. I at least treat every guy with respect. But for the most part, I don't want somebody to approach me if they don't need my help genuinely or interested in being friends.
If women are staring a lot, they most likely are noticing something peculiar whether your look or vibe and may not be that they are attracted or find you attractive. You might look or have a look that resembles guys they know. You're hair cut is a bit different too. Generally, women finding a guy cute don't just start. Women are more subtle and just rarely do that. They more often will glance a lot or toward your direction or even if others are around, glance side eye at you at times and just a vibe of them aware of your presence.
Tal vez me equivoque, ya que no te conozco y no quiero parecer prejuicioso. ¡Pero la pequeña descripción que proporcionó da la impresión de que usted es un hombre atractivo o un chico guapo! Quizás cuando te acercas a ellos se intimidan. 😐 Creo que es la actitud típica de una mujer que quiere sentirse resistida ante un hombre atractivo, en lugar de sentirse relajada y relajada. 😊 También tiene que ver con las chicas que ves, resulta que pueden tener algunas inseguridades sobre sí mismas o simplemente baja autoestima y parecen ser irresistibles o inalcanzables. Puedo estar equivocado, pero esa es la impresión que tengo.
I don't have a good clue about this either, but i have the suspicion its actually a side effect of modern culture and depictions of high standards. Women are naturally inclined to seek the best, so if they are surrounded by unrealistic standards then no real man can compare just as they keep thinking they need to match an unreasonable standard themselves. I can't recall the source but there where statistics where 80% of men on a site where rated below average by the women which statistically does not add up.
The demonising of , and portrayal of males as lesser beings by the Western " education " systems , esp uni level , and the " media " plays a huge role. Also females are far more desired by males , on average , than vice versa , added to that there are more men than women , esp in the younger age groups , even the most mediocre woman will always have more opposite sex options , than a comparatively more attractive man... Batemans Principle at work Most women are sick of male attention , hence the " bitch shield " is often deployed at full strength.
They’re being taught that they’re “queens.” We get it, every woman is amazing, but we shouldn’t get arrogant. I miss the times where equal interest was shown
Not gonna lie, they are often unaproachable. I know I am. I'm friendly and everything but when I'm out I have the don't look at me, don't talk to me and don't touch me glare on my face. And we are like that because we are fed up of unwanted attention.
Are you in a big city? Check out these channels for some insight, its actually really simple.. Asking women directly is usually a waste of time. 70% will be useless information like "you're just haven't met the right girl," "I'm not like that..." "Just keep trying!" 20% will be some old b*&$@ who still thinks she's got it telling you to step your game up, i. e. more useless information but with a side of snark, crows footed eyes, thinning hair, and saggy boobed overconfidence. And the rest well be good insight but buried underneath this ^^^ pile of BS like your typical r/thingswomenwishmenknew thread on Reddit.
https://www.youtube.com/user/EntrepreneursInCars
www.youtube.com/channel/UCc7-Rr-wSO530znK2ny05JQ
When a stranger walks up to me, I'm always a little nervous. I assume if he is flirting with me, he is trying to distract me somehow. I know it's stupid or weird, but that's my initial reaction. I've gotten better about it as I've gotten older. But I don't go out to be picked up. So I'm never expecting it.
The older they are, the more approachable they are. That is because they can't afford to be. They get few offers anyway. And, young girls are approachable it you are out of league which means guys hotter than you won't fuck them. Most all young go for the hottest guys that will fuck then. Then after he fucks and dumps her, she will say, "I want a nice guy." But she doesn't because nice guys are not hott. What she means is, "I want a hott that will treat me like a nice guy would." Of course that won’t happen since she is not girlfriend material. In any event, after she get's over her cry, she is chasing after and dropping her panties for another hott that will only fuck her.
It takes girls about ten years to learn that guys fuck down but don't marry down. Of course, by then, they have lost their bloom and the guys they could have are now out of their league and will only fuck them.
Women fall into two types now: the "clique" obsessed or the "terribly anti social but craves cliques when lonely". The clique obsessed type only is nice to those in her inner circle. The anti social type doesn't know social cues, had a resting bitch face, but wishes she would be part of a clique because women are social creatures at heart.
This causes huge issues when trying to approach them. For the clique obsessed types, you have to befriend them during high school or university or at work in order to gain trust. The anti social type might like you from afar but due to her anxieties will constantly keep you at arm length. They will smile and flirt with you with her eyes but if you approach will be a bitch.
Good luck with that LOL.
I’m always polite and friendly around strangers but some women may not want to socialize or receive any attention. I don’t think guys realize just how much unwanted attention women get. Some are just sick of it. I have personally gotten myself into many difficult situations that would have been very easy to avoid if I had just acted cold or unapproachable.
Most likely they're nervous and they don't know what to say to you. Regardless of who approaches who, if she's staring at you and likes you and she's not hugely confident in general, she's gonna be shy at first. In general when you approach you have to do most of the talking to begin with to give them a bit of time to warm up to you. You also have to make conversation easy for them and make it fun.
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