Why do guys always have the need to lecture me?

[14xpurple]

So, it's a never ending cycle. Somehow, I always end up talking to guys that are cocky, and have to lecture me on everything. I can never find anyone in between. What I'm saying is that these guys that I just described aren't complete a**holes. Because there are different types of a**holes out there, and this guy is nice and funny, just they always have that one flaw. There's the guys who use girls, and just completely disrespect them, then there's the really nice guys who never get a chance or get f***ed over, and then there's almost in between but not quite yet, Question is, Does this mean I have daddy issues since I always end up talking to guys who think they are superior to me? and WHY DO GUYS HAVE THE NEED TO LECTURE me? I'm 18, He's 20. He's not all that mature if that helps. Then again, No matter how old a guy is, or how "smart" they're never fully mature. I've even had a guy the same age as me, lecture me on everything. So, I doubt age has anything to do, barely.

[MrOracle]

We don't have enough context to know WHY these guys are lecturing to you, but one thing is true without a doubt:

The one CONSTANT thing in all these relationships is YOU. You CHOSE all of these guys, which means you are attracted to this type of guy. I can't say (without context) if that's a Daddy issue or what it is, but you are picking this type of guy out of a crowd every time.

A lot of people do that, and don't realize they are doing it, and so are doomed to repeat the cycle again and again until they finally get a clue.

"Why is every guy I date emotionally abusive?"

"Why Is every girl I date depressed?"

"Why are all guys so selfish?"

"Why are all girls so shallow?"

In almost all cases, the problem isn't so much the other people as it is you. Usually your environment growing up creates the examples for "normal" relationships for you, meaning, whatever you observed as a kid, no matter how good or bad, becomes "normal" to you, and you tend to seek that out in your own partners. The occasional exception is when people choose the OPPOSITE of what they saw, because they were always repulsed by those relationships.

Without a history of relevant info, none of us can tell you what made you attracted to this type of guy, but if you do some thinking about it, you can probably figure it out for yourself. You can also learn to make a list of the characteristics of the guys that you don't like, and when you meet someone and are starting to get to know them, you force yourself to regularly take a mental step back and really OBSERVE his behavior and attitude and see if he is one of those guys, and if he is, you DUMP HIM and move on, no matter how hot he is or how cool he seems.

[kholland65]

What do you mean by lecture? What are they lecturing you about?

Some of this might just be natural reaction since he's older. Everyone has a tendency to subconsciously feel this sense of superiority over those who are younger. It's common to think we are wiser than those who are younger than ourselves, even if just by a few years.

There is also an element of this ingrained in the male psyche. It's part of the white night syndrome we have. Many guys feel the need to stop in and be like a father/big brother to you. The reason isn't about us wanting to feel superior to you, its just because we want to help you. If we feel there is something wrong that we can fix, guys can'tr help but want to spring into action and help you with your problems, many times that can mean giving you a lecture about some life lesson that applies to the scenario. We're not trying to make you feel like a little kid, we're just identifying a problem, and our male instincts kick in to make us solve it.

[animalwithin]

First off, age and maturity don't correlate very well so throw that out the window. Second, just by reading your question, I suddenly feel like lecturing you lol, and I'm far from an a**hole. You generalize a ton and you seem to be stuck attracting/going toward the same types of guys over and over, thus indicating there is an issue mostly on your part, not them. Only you can tell us if you have daddy issues, do you? Do you know what you want in a guy? Odds are, these guys are immature and/or are insecure and always feel like they need to justify their position/beliefs.

[Theguyoverthere]

This isn't just guys, girls do this too. I was with a girl at one point that tried to lecture me about how I should be going back to school.

This girl was 22 and I was 27 at the time. We argued because I knew she had no life experience(lived with her parents, no car, life dictated by whatever her parents said, gave her paycheck to them and everything) and at 27 I know how school works and she wasn't anywhere near done with her schooling yet.

I have also met up with older guys who insisted on lecturing me about life just because they're older.

So I definitely know how you feel there. Only advice I can give you, reject them. Do what you want because you're already better than these people. The fact that you don't want them around will allow you to feel much better about yourself and show them how they don't mean anything to you, no matter how much they need to boost their ego trying to lecture you because of their own insecurity.

[Confucius16]

Well, you talk about guys in general, and then you talk about a guy in particular, switching back and forth. But I think it has less to do with guys in general, and more to do with those guys in particular.

Cocky people might look good on the outside, and many people are drawn to them, because they think the cocky people have good personalities. But the thing is, cocky people are arrogant and used to getting their way, so they lecture other people. It could also be that they find you easy to lecture, because of some unfortunate circumstances or something.

I'm mature for my age. Not all guys are like that. But I've heard that guys mature slower than women. And age has nothing to do with wisdom. Probably older people won't lecture you as much, on average, if they are wise people.

Why do they lecture you?

[madhatters4]

I don't think it means that you have necesarrily have daddy issues but I think you definitely seek out or are attracted to guys who are more of authority figures than anything (which you could call father figures if you want).

You clearly understand that you have a type and you also clearly understand that there are other guys out there. It's thus very clear that you aren't attracted to the nice guys you know you should be with.

You have to get to the heart of why you are attracted to guys who are more of authoritative figures. Do you feel like you need guidance in life? Do you feel uncertain about who you are and where you are going to the point that you think a guy may be able to help? Those are the sort of things that lead people fatherly figure types

[cavmanier]

There's a lot of generalizing going on. I don't think you can classify people in these few groups. I don't think that means you have daddy issues. Some people are just going to be grumpy and treat you poorly. As people get older they tend to be less self centered and therefore treat others better.

[Jager66]

well for starters 18-20 ish is still child like really, not be offensive or anything, the brain isn't even done developing till your mid to late 20's. I remember being your age and now honestly I look back and can't believe how silly I was and in another 15 years it will probably be the same thing again. Many Men AND Women never mature much past high school bull sh*t, so few people ever figure out what happiness is really about.

hows that for a lecture? but then you did ask =P

[Yas10]

You never mentioned what they are lecturing about. There should be something with you, cause us guys at no time become lecturers without proper reason. :P

You might be doing stewpid things. You might be eating too much, or you might be sleeping too much or even you might be doing all the dumb things that 18-year-old gals should be doing, and not 18-year-old guys might be doing.

[islands7]

1. It appears you NEED lectures, as if you are doing things wrong or ask for help?

2. You CHOOSE know-it-alls over other guys?

3. They GET some sort of positive feedback from you when they act in control?

[stillonfireforyou]

preach.

[mentro]

some guys are smartasses

some guys are smart

some guys think its better to say it then hld it in

but some guys take there role as the man of the house a little to serious

thats my opinion

[ketfoen]

I've read your statement and I'm still wondering why anyone would want to lecture you, you have it all figured out. You are very mature.

Read it again sometimes.

[honeyltsme]

It's hard to say without you telling what in particular they are lecturing you about. Especially if different guys mention the same thing.

[Mrsupaakeru]

what do guys lecture you on? Do they talk down to you? Do you get treated badly by guys in general?

[aMuse]

If all guys are treating you the same. then the problem is likely with you not them.

[just_tired]

What do they lecture you about?

[14xpurple]

anything and everything they can -.-

[just_tired]

Anything specific? Are they correcting facts you are saying or are they lecturing that something you do is wrong or what?

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Young lady, do your homework and get up to bed!

[Anonymous]

What do they lecture you about?

[Anonymous]

Depends on your behavior

[shumailkazimi]

Ignore them