Why do girls tend to flake?

[Anonymous]

Apart from the obvious reason I'm not as attractive as I think I am.

Aside from that, girls agree to do something, then when you try to confirm it they don't reply.

Generally if I agree to do something, I will stay true to my word. Whether girls or in general. Is this not a common thing?

[TheoryOfAvarice]

They might not want to lead you on.

I know it doesn't always happen but it does happen a lot. A girl agrees to spend time with a guy, he starts to get the wrong impression, and then things start to get awkward... this recently happened to a friend of mine, a guy from her class was talking to her a bunch, they went out drinking and dancing with a couple friends and he started to think she was interested in him when that was not the case. Then when she turned him down (she didn't even realize what he was thinking until he came on to her), he stopped talking to her.

I mean there could be other reasons for why girls in your life seem so flaky but that's the main reason I can think of at the moment... there's a guy friend in my life who I'm always cautious about hanging out with because I know he is only interested in one thing (and he doesn't hide that fact either). He's pretty cool and I like hanging out with him, but only if there's other people around, I get nervous when it's just the two of us because he is very forward.

Still, I won't agree to doing something / going somewhere if I don't actually plan on following through... people play these games with each other all the time and it's really just childish and a waste of everyone's time.

[Asker]

Well - thing is, as a single guy, of course you would try to push the boundaries a little. If you didn't the situation requiring the girl to flake would never materialise. So I think in a way it's healthy because it tells you the guy is doing something about his life. The stopped talking to her part is kind of sad though.

There's also a difference between asking a girl out politely and being predatory. I would think in one situation flaking is justified and the other not.

[TheoryOfAvarice]

Absolutely, I understand where you're coming from.

I'm also not sure what else to really say, haha.

I guess, some girls just aren't comfortable with guys pushing those boundaries sometimes. We might flake on you if we want to avoid those situations and/or, like the anon girl said, we don't want to have to tell you no.

But hey, just be persistent! And remember that not all girls are total flakes.

[Anonymous]

They don't want to be seen as mean which is ridiculous because you end up hurting the guy more. Girls need to say no more.

Basically I'm guilty of this, if I don't like a guy but can't stand to reject him knowing he will feel like crap afterward, I will take his number but not call or answer.

If she's into you she won't flake, that simple.

[Asker]

Cheers. Sounds like it comes down to whether you know how to say no skillfully. I guess it's not an easy skill to have whether in relationship or otherwise.

[Opinion Owner]

All I know is you like who you like and don't who you don't, simple as that.

[Anonymous]

"Basically I'm guilty of this, if I don't like a guy but can't stand to reject him knowing he will feel like crap afterward, I will take his number but not call or answer."

Yes this is MUCH better to let him get his hopes up and try and make plans for hours and perhaps days while he waits by the phone.

Yes this is much better.

:/

This way I don't have to feel guilty that I'm turning him down to his face because I'm a COWARD.

YES its better to INHIBIT his ability to immediately go on with his life and approach other girls, get used to rejection and become a better, more confident person in the long term.

(that was sarcasm btw)

"They might not want to lead you on."

HA

Because agreeing to do something isn't leading the guy on in the first place. NOPE not at all.

Thats perfectly OK to do.

:/

Women are just great aren't they.

:/

[Anonymous]

Girls tend to flake because they want to let down the guy politely and not hurt his feelings on the spot.

[Anonymous]

I'm a dude and I flake on girls all the time. They ask for my number or give me theirs and I just make sure nothing ever materializes.

It just means they aren't into you but want to be nice by not rejecting you to your face.