What is it like to be female and Muslim?

Question

Like, what rules do you have to follow in everyday life?Has anyone been both secular and Muslim?How does it differ?

dreamergirl94 · Accepted Answer

Let me tell you. It's very hard and complicating.

My parents are both from Afghanistan and are Muslim. Except they aren't as religious in that they don't pray everyday and such, and therefore I don't really consider myself very religious either because I don't do any of that stuff either. However, they still have put very strict rules on me growing up. I wasn't allowed to wear makeup until the 11th grade. If I hang out with a guy, I have to be kind of secretive or REALLY convince them that he is JUST A FRIEND. If someone asks me to hang out, unlike other girls/women, I can't just be like "sure, be there at 5". I have to tell my parents a head of time (usually like a week or so ahead) because if I all of a sudden announce I'm going out, they get all suspicious on my ass. When I do hang out with friends, they call me at least 5 times to check up on me and ask when I'm coming home (even if I told them ahead of time I'll be home at 8). That being said, if I'm still out after the sun has set, they get all worried and even more suspicious and so I have learned not to do that. I don't even stay out late. Usually come home by 7pm or so. Even in the summer when the sun sets at like 9:30pm. Even if my mom (whose just a BIT more relaxed) says "no no honey, you're almost 19, you can stay out as long as you want" , she still worries a whole lot and calls me about a million times when I'm out. I know she's just trying to be nice by saying I can stay out but I know not to worry her.

Even now that I'm almost 19, it's still like this. My parents have said "as you get older, you'll get more freedom" and I've only noticed that a little bit.. like getting my own cellphone for example. They SAY I can go hang out with friends but then they ask a million questions. Don't even get me started on dating lol. It's just a no no. Except my mom says "if you like a guy, let me know" and I usually let her know but I can tell that she still gets very worried and acts like I have committed a sin lol.

On top of that, my dad is very over protective. Partying is just a no. Drinking is just a no. Not that I want to do those things. I'm actually quite against partying, drinking, smoking, drugs, etc and that is probably by how I was raised. Raised to not be around it. I remember my dad not letting me hang out with a group of girls when I was 14 who were party girls who drank all the time at such a young age. I'm actually glad he banned me from hanging with them.

As far as what I wear, thankfully my parents have never asked me to wear the hijab/scarf. But they've also taught me to dress modestly. No cleavage, no skirts, no short shorts. It's really made me who I am today because I am just not for any of that.

Even right now when I'm on the internet my parents are saying "what are you doing on there? who are you talking to?" lol x_x

All in all, it's a frustrating life. Because your parents control it all. But at the same time, it's taught me a lot of things and made me who I am.

carnation · Accepted Answer

Actually, I think it depends more on the family and sometimes the cultural environment the girl in. For example, I'm a Muslim girl from the Middle East. But I can see that my life is kinda different from the Muslim girl who answered below. I will mention as an example, the situations she described.

I wear Hijab, and it was my choice. I wore it when I was young; because I liked how my mom looked with it. Now I can't imagine taking it off. It has become a part of me and my pride, and it makes me more comfortable, respected and for some reason.. how can I phrase it? safe?

However, I don't mind wearing accessories and whatever I like with it, as long as it is not revealing, and doesn't describe my body. Make-up is okay if it isn't over and just looks natural.

I basically just put some eyeliner and a moisturizer lip stick.

No partying, no drinking, no smoking and of course no drugs.

As for my relationships with guys, I have some good guy friends from different countries and cultures and we are really good friends and we enjoy each others' company. But everything is just innocent. My parents are, of course, against the idea of hanging out with a guy alone, and so, they are against dating. But they don't mind me getting to know guys if I'm accompanied by my friend, a sibling on in a group. They think this's safer for me.

In fact, arranged marriage isn't an Islamic law. It's more of a cultural thing. My parents didn't mention an arranged marriage to me. In contrary, my mom said that she wouldn't let me marry only the guy I love and accept as my husband. She also wishes that my husband would be someone who is responsible and qualified to lead my family and make me happy.

My parents trust me, so when it comes to hanging out, my limit is usually 11 PM. Well, they aren't that much concerned about the time as long as I'm with trustworthy friends and in a place that is safe, for example, my friend's house. They call me once or twice to make sure everything is fine. I don't go to bars, night clubs or any suspicious places and they know it. They even trusted me to go and study in another country without bringing someone with me. Actually this surprised me, but they said that they raised me, so they know who I am, and they trust me, and that they know people in the other country who can pick me up if I want to go somewhere, and help me if I needed any assistance.

In summary, unlike the stereotype, I don't feel those killing restrictions in my life, more of caring and seeking my safety, because I'm after all a girl. I love my parents, and everyday, as my experience in life grows bigger, I know why my parents asked me to do/not do something. Everything was sincerely for my sake.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It depends on your family, where you have been raised etc.

I am a Muslim, but it is only because I was born in a family that call themselves Muslims...

I don't cover my hair... I can eat or drink whatever I want, but it is just when I refer to God I say Allah, although I don't stick to Quraan, I don't pray five times a day actually I have never prayed like that...I also have my own belives... In Christmas I decorate trees and stuff...but I am a Muslim that doesn't really think that there is a "wrong" religion,... but then there are some other Muslims that say I am sinnfull which is none sense... what I do doesn't change what I believe in...

blondfrog · Accepted Answer

Well its not a big deal if the woman is truly a Muslim believer herself, and if that is the case then she is going to like wearing the hjab and following all the things her book says. If she is not however her parents are going to be strict on her either way and even if she doesn't wear a hjab she still would have to when she is out in public. I know this cause I am from Iraq I always imagined how much more different my life would have been if I was born a female. I know for sure my parents would be so much more stricter on me. Yes its a double standard and it's not fair, but honestly every country has its double standards with males and females. I can't tell you how many times I got in trouble, but cause I am a male and stronger than my dad lol I think that helps too all I get is a lecture from both my parents.

palek · Accepted Answer

Though I've since abandoned the practice, I lived as a female Muslim til the age of 18. When my lesbiasnism came to the surface my father tried to run me over with the family car and I sought shelter in a monestary. I now live as an Amish male. Not much chance of getting run over by a horse and buggy.

Anonymous · Answer

the rules are the same. but culture can really make this unnecessarily difficult.

i am a western Muslim. I love Islam in Australia, I am free to practice my faith to the fullest extent without the cultural nonsense from the middle east. I fast ramadan. Pray. I don't eat pork or any animals considered to be omnivore and carnivores. I'm abstaining from sex until marriage.

Girls have it the same except that:

1. parents tend to tie cultural norms to the girl much more than the guy.

2. the hijab is to be worn.

i think it is unfair to Muslim girls because they are under pressure to wear the hijab, wheras it is no where near as important as fasting or praying. the priorities are mixed up. Plus I've met aussie girls who are Muslim who don't wear hijab and their faith and practice amazes me.

Anonymous · Answer

A moderate western Muslim female (aka a Muslim female who couldn't tell the difference between a quran and a phone book) or a middle eastern Muslim?

Hamburgers · Answer

That's an interesting question coming from you. Are you considering of joining Islam?

mona89 · Answer

Would you still like to know ? I have a long answer and I don't really want to share it on here.

Anonymous · Answer

ask that 14 year old girl Malala who was shot for going to school in Pakistan what it's like being a Muslim.

Anonymous · Answer

well I am a Muslim and I lived in UAE,Lebanon,Saudi Arabia (well I live in Canada now) , but I would like to talk about it with you

Anonymous · Answer

it's the same as an average girl just with modesty and not slutting yourself with beer and guys/girls

Anonymous · Answer

Ask the women that have had acid thrown in their faces for not wanting marriage.

legalizedeherb · Answer

let me tell you it sucksss. I would know!

Anonymous · Answer

i know a few girls. Very conservative

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