Why don't guys come up to me?

Question

Ok so every time I go out with a group of friends  guys don't come up to me! I'm not ugly lol but lately I've been the third wheel or if I go out with a group of girlfriends I still don't get hit on or even really talk too. I have to buy my own drinks ! Lol but when I do go out with gfs they are normally a lot bigger than me and I feel like I'm prettier but I don't act like I'm conceited where guys wouldn't want to talk to me I don't understand why

Longshot · Accepted Answer

Some times prettier girls have to work a little harder to get the guys. Many guys will not approach the very pretty girl because they feel they are not as good looking; she probably has a Boyfriend if not 100 BFs; she might be high maintenance; she comes with a conceited attitude; she brings a lot of baggage; etc. Somehow the cute girl next door seems more reachable.

The other piece is that must make yourself approachable. You should want a guy that catches your eye to be able to feel comfortable in coming up and talking to you. Things like smiling, eye contact and a little more open body posture will help. You have to play the mating game too.

red324 · Accepted Answer

i'm not going to hit on a girl in a group. Then I have to deal with her friends dragging her away and also their smartass comments. Plus it's hard to show which girl you're actually interested in cause you end up putting up with the other girls. Go out more often by yourself like to the grocery store. Take your time shopping. Don't run around at 100 miles an hour. This reminds me about the other day I was trying to approach this girl at the grocery store but she was in such a big rush that I could hardly get ahead of her, so I gave up cause I was basically following behind her and I felt it was kind of creepy.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

well you might just come off as unnaproachable or that you don't want to talk to others. just b eopen an smile to a guy you like when you go out

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

maybe you aren't really open, if you are with your gfs you need to leave an open space for guys to come up to you

Dylan1989 · Answer

There could be a number of reasons here:

1. You're in a group. Only the super confident guys have the courage to approach a girl in a group.

2. You're body language is not inviting. If you're shy or anxious or socially awkward (or just plain stuck up or don't smile, which doesn't sound like it) then that will be reflected by closed of body language.

3. Guys don't find you attractive. Don't be disheartened by this. It's probably not true anyway but I'm sure you know most guys don't approach girls they are not physically attracted to.

4. Guys find you very attractive and are therefore intimidated. If you are a very attractive girl then guys will feel too shy and intimidated to approach you.

There's a common solution to all these problems: Go and approach the guy! Seriously, do you always want to be waiting for a guy to approach you when, evidently by this very question, it never happens. You have to make things happen! Good luck!

Brady · Answer

Maybe you still have to wait for a guy that is attracted to you or thinks you are his type. From what I have seen on another site and four face rating sites girls can find people who are attracted to them.

Type these in the add. bar: pictures2rate.com, ratemyface.com (don't use Internet Explorer because it always warns of a virus when Firefox and Google Chrome don't have the problem because there is no virus) ratehotness.com and youbeenX.com. They are free face rating sites where you can post your picture, post about yourself, your personality, interests, get rated on looks and get comments from guys. Maybe you'll even find someone in your town.

martyfellow · Answer

Lol, maybe guys are scared to approach you when you're the pretty one in a group.

Guys know the other girls can be counted on to unite in being hostile to yo, since you're ignoring them and focusing on the pretty girl in the group..They'll tend to see that as an implied insult toward them.

Guys don't want to run that gauntlet. You'll have to slip guys you like some sort of signal to meet you later if you're interested.

pavlove · Answer

A lot of guys have screeners to judge whether a girl is willing to come home with them (potentially) or dtf as its sometimes put. You may seem prudish that would be my best guess.

I would ask yourself if you would really come home with a guy and if the answers no but you still want a lot of play at bars I would bust out the old acting chops and let yourself believe you'd go home with the guy but then at the last second be like "nah though."

Notes to an actor is a pretty good read for beginners to masters but yeah a lot of guys who go to bars or clubs prefer the girls nasty except those guys who just get off on convincing people to do things they originally didn't want to do.

HughR · Answer

I wonder if you might not be giving a very unintentional impression of being unattainable.  Or being too self centered.  Do you smile easily?  Do you like to talk?  Do you make eye contact first and when you do, do you encourage more intimacy?  While you talk to them, do you touch their arm?

RogueEconomist · Answer

Alot of guys fear rejection, perhaps they feel that you are out of their league. Long ago  I sat next to a real pretty gal in class and thought about asking her to the prom, but couldn't get the courage up, just knowing she wouldsay no. No one asked her, she was one of the prettyest girls in school and really sweet. Latter I learned that the average looking gals got more play than the super pretty.

kevlar · Answer

Could be several reasons:

Maybe they don't find you attractive i.e. physically or intellectually

Maybe it's because your friends are hotter

Maybe it's just because you're the odd number -- guys get intimidated easily; sometimes they jump to conclusions before they've met someone -- they might think you talk trash because you're not the leader of your pack

Anonymous · Answer

If you're in a group, then only the more aggressive, confident guys will approach. And by nature, they will only approach the one or two prettiest girls there, because they're confident enough to approach a group of girls in the first place.

If you want to be approached, go alone, or maybe with one friend.

Anonymous · Answer

We won't approach you if you're not alone When you're alone, that's the time to strike. It's weird, but that's what we do

Also, why should it matter if you're not getting approached anyway? You go out to have fun, right? Not to be hit on...(or am I not understanding other girls when they talk about this sort of thing)

fun-weird-guy · Answer

A lot of guys don't like to single a women out from her friends because her friends may make rude comments like what am I not good enough for you. Guys would want to get to know you first before being drilled with a million quests from your friends.

Jager66 · Answer

"I have to buy my own drinks !"  OH the horror! you don't get enough opportunities to lie by leading men on to get free stuff, life must be really hard for you, poor baby.

Baconhair · Answer

"I have to buy my own drinks"

So sad for you, you can't get a free ride through life, try again next time when you're less vapid.

It's probably because you're in a group and said group is obnoxious and/or intimidating.

cherokeeblake1 · Answer

I don't hit on a girl in a group.

#1 rule for guys is that we always hit on lone ones, go by yourself somewhere but if you're pretty you'll get a guy very quickly, but go to a dance club or somewhere where you can meet guys.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe you need a reality check? I don't know what you look like but maybe your not as attractive as you think you are. So many people in general way way over rate how hawt they are. Sounds like you need to step it up a bit and actually talk to these guys. Work on that

Prof_Don · Answer

It could be the vibes you're giving off...make sure you smile and keep your head up so a guy can give you eye contact.

loda1994 · Answer

all I can tell you is may be you just look too uptight for someone to hit on you.  guys approach girls in groups all the time

vincehb89 · Answer

try to go out with only one friend, patience some day you will find someone

Anonymous · Answer

A lot of guys don't hit on girls who are in groups. The bigger the group, the smaller the chance you have.

xxxHonestxxx · Answer

There is something about your looks if men aren't approaching you.

Anonymous · Answer

do your gfs get hit on while you dont? usually men stay away from packs of girls

Anonymous · Answer

Why should they hit on you? To buy your drinks ? To offer you the pleasure of turning them down?

namismybabe · Answer

OK, what is your demeanour when out?  are you relaxed? Are you smiling, or do you have a scowl?

Anonymous · Answer

Make yourself more approachable. Or maybe you're too hot

DutchAtheist · Answer

Go talk to a guy then. It's 2013, emancipate!

Anonymous · Answer

Be glad you have at least dated and been in a relationship before

Anonymous · Answer

either thes no place for hmi to be able to come up to you becasue of your firends or your fce seems like you don't want to tlak to them.

Anonymous · Answer

You should try smiling more.

Anonymous · Answer

why don't you go up to them . its 2013

larry69 · Answer

I usually assume you are taken!

zeus95 · Answer

wht would you say are on a scale of one to 10

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