What makes a guy clingy?

[Anonymous]

what is it that a guy does that makes him seem clingy and would turn you off? I want tell my girlfriend of two months how much she means to me and that I really like her (I feel its a bit early to say love since its only been 2 months) and that even though we don't live in the same town anymore that Ill still be there for me whenever she needs me and not to be scared to tell me anything especially things she's worried about, but I feel like I might come off as clingy and stupid if I do so. I always hear women don't like it when guys do this but then I see lots of women complain about how their man doesn't make them feel loved or like they are cared about. Stuck at a bit of a crossroads, I figure if I find out what makes guys seem clingy id be able to go about it in a better way to avoid coming off like that. Any help would be appreciated!

[kmarie89]

Depending on how you approach the subject will result in you either looking clingy or appearing to genuinely care about her.

As Amanda said, don't demand to know where she is all the time or freak out if she doesn't respond immediately.

If you really want to let her know how you feel make sure its in a comfortable space (telling her you love her for the first time after two months while meeting her parents would be overkill for example). Just wait until its the two of you relaxing and let her know how you feel. If you are worried about how she will react just make sure you tell her that you are not expecting any response and you don't want to pressure her to say anything she isn't ready to or doesn't feel yet but that you wanted her to know how you felt.

My current Boyfriend told me he loved me after 2 months. I wasn't ready to say it back yet and he knew that and assured me he didn't want to pressure me in anyway and he was happy to continue on as we were until I was ready, he simply wanted me to know how much he cared.

It scared me a bit as it was so soon to say the 'L' word but because he was so sweet and made it clear he did not expect a response it didn't affect us negatively at all and a couple of months later I was able to say it back.

[AmandaElizabeth]

Clingy and overbearing is when you want to know where she is and who she's with every second. And freak out if she takes "too long" in your opinion to text back or something stupid like that.

Telling her you care about her and want to have open and honest communication with her is NOT clingy. Its very sweet =) It's a lot of girl's DREAM to hear their boyfriend say that and mean it. Go for it! I'm sure she'll think its sweet of you.

[Asker]

first off thanks for taking the time to read and respond, means a lot to me :)

are you sure it doesn't come off as clingy or needy to tell her these kinds of things? I don't want to end up scaring her off or turning her off of me. It has only been about 2 months of us actually being boyfriend and girlfriend. And girls tell me they start to lose interest in guys when everything is laid out for them

[AmandaElizabeth]

Not to me. Not all girls are exactly the same, but no girl in her right mind would be turned off by her man wanting to care for her. =) Just earlier today my guy called me just to tell me he was thinking about me and missed me and I loved it! It made me feel so good to know he cares like that. And that's waaayyy mushier than what you're wanting to say. Haha Just tell her that you want her to feel comfortable sharing with you and that you genuinely care about her and her feelings.

[Asker]

and do you think she will tell me how she feels in return? I want to know how she feels about me and if she has any concerns just for my own piece of mind. we don't really talk about any serious stuff ever and I want to start :/ I don't really know how she truly feels

[AmandaElizabeth]

Ask her to be honest with you, and offer up your honesty in return. Just let her know you want to be the best you can be and you appreciate feedback, and let her know you'll give her the same if she asks.

[Asker]

how does one even bring up the subject? I know I want to do it in person, I think that is very important. I see her on Saturday so how do I lead into it?

[AmandaElizabeth]

Say something like "I just really want to let you know that I think you're a really great girl and I care about you a lot. And I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. I'm here to listen and help you with anything you need," or something to that degree. Just tell her you have something important to tell her and share how you're really feeling. =) Don't sweat it. Be yourself. She should like you for you. And you seem really sweet to care this much about her.

[Anonymous]

far more things a guy can do to be clingy than for a girl