Why are guys more clingy than girls...?

[Anonymous]

I ask, because, my ex is effin clingy and all trying to be friends, but epic failing at it. Okay little background...

So this ex was each others' first serious relationship, and it ended because we ended up having nothing in common. He wanted the life of a party, and I really don't give a crap about going to bars and clubs and socializing. I'm more of a type who can spend the entire day in a museum and love every second of it. So I friended him back on fb a year ago, because I thought this fb-unfriending game is rather childish and stupid. He also got a job in the same field as I am, so I also wanted to keep tabs.

Thing is...he keeps creeping back every single time I appear to have moved on and happy with my life. He tried to "become friends again" when I went out with this other dude after breaking up with this ex. I'm actually in a "more than friends less than dating" relationship with other guy, and I don't know if he figured this out through fb or whatever, but he is trying to be all friendly again.

Seriously, the way he talks keeps pissing me off because he became way more pretentious since we broke up. So I really don't wanna talk to him. At this point I'm just ignoring his msg, or giving a very curt answer. Would this make a point to this clingy-annoying-ex that I don't really wanna talk to him, or would I have to spell it out for him? by the way, I never aim him from myself.

Thanks for reading my half-rants...

[Chunk-Stonechest]

Clingy guys are often motivated by libido (Hey, they're male, so this is part of the equation), insecurity, and a desire to paint a pretty picture on a bad outcome. There's always that possibility that your ex cared / cares deeply about you even though he may not be able to admit to such things. Pestering you could well be his way of putting a "smiley face" on a painful ending. Realistically, we're still talking about a young man who has yet to open his mind to art, culture, history, or other experiences that challenge his sense of self. This may also explain why he's dense when it comes to a sensitive approach to your need for space. I believe that what we got ratch 'ere is a real "mimbo." Sadly, no amount of patience or polite suffering on your part will ever contribute to his sudden intellectual awakening.

If you care about someone, let him go. If he comes back, tell him to take a flying leap through frakken donut. Feel free to choose a more explicit metaphor. A stray dog will quit sniffing around your house as long as you yell angrily, apply a swift kick, and quit leaving food on your porch. Coincidentally this works for young men as well. You'll know what to do!

[Asker]

Thanks. I did care about him then he did all the dumping, and told in my face that he doesn't want to see each other. To me, there's no going back from that. I think I'm doing everything I can to "let him go" aka ignore, but sometimes he's not getting the message. Will a silent treatment give the guy a hint eventually, or do I have to use more energy and actually spell it out to him that he's annoying the bejeesus out of me...?

[Anonymous]

Well, part of the problem is YOU'RE intelligent and HE'S Bullwinkle. It's a shame when the smart girls take a wrong turn into loserville. Is it time for a restraining order?

[Asker]

Haha thank you. Well...I dated him like...7 years ago? So I guess I was still on the inexperienced end when it came to dating and weeding out douchebags. I keep brutally shooting him down on all of his "let's catch up" msg, so I think he got an idea by now. lol

[Anonymous]

girls can be clingy too