How to deal with a clingy guy?

[Ofoceans]

I'm currently dating a guy. I like him he's handsome and we really vibe well. He initially started showing red flags of being too clingy the first few days we chatted and called each other. It seems as if he wants to chat throughout the day and have an hour call everyday.

When he told me to call him, i did the first day but the second day, i got so tired I didn't and the next day he unsent some messages and did not anymore respond.

After a few weeks of messaging inconsistently. I find it's okay if he is not that easily invested as I message him first but We started again to have communication and planning to see each other. He got too much again for me and long story short we had two hours of conversation talking about plans to get married in the future, why i was not married and if that's part of my plans, me telling him im not stable, him telling me we can work together to be stable and the next day him asking hypothetical questions what will i do if I get pregnant and he said he can find ways to support if ever.

Needless to say he ran in full speed again but surprisingly whenever he shares, he thinks he gives space to his previous girlfriends because he said he doesn't like to occupy too much of someone's time and will give space.

So, because he ran full speed, i was hardly conversant the next day and he said he missed me and I just responded miss you back after several hours. He must have gotten the message and got hurt again, so now he is not responding.

I like him but why is he too much for me? I also surprisingly had a sweet conversation for him for two hours but although i got giddy and find it enjoyable, i felt sad later on and often compare him to a guy friend of mine. With my guy friend, i seem to be happier. Also my guy friend seems to be more similar in communication styles with me and would videocall once a week or every other week so i find it more enjoyable and not suffocating. How do i deal with a clingy guy?

[Oliverlogan263]

Here's what I would do in your situation:

This guy sounds super nice, but definitely moves way too fast for my liking. I get why he's an eager beaver since he really seems into you, but all that serious relationship talk after just starting to date is way overwhelming!

I think the best thing is to be really honest with him about needing to take things slower. Have a chat when you're both calm and say something like "I really enjoy talking to you, but all the future planning made me feel rushed. I want to focus on just getting to know each other better right now without pressure."

Set some clearer boundaries too, like only talking 1-2 times a week with light texting in between. That will help him realize you need your space. See how he takes that feedback - if he's clingy or gets upset, it may not be worth pursuing.

Also keep talking to that other guy friend of yours! Nothing wrong with keeping your options open until one guy shows he can respect your boundaries. Don't worry about hurting feelings either - your comfort should come first. Hope this helps you dial things back to a healthier pace! Let me know if any other advice would be useful.

[teamvic]

Oooooooooooooo that relationship is at a dangerous risk to end

Two reasons. One the dude is sensitive as fuck

If hypothetically he is getting mad at you for not replying fast. Do you think he'll all of a sudden change that behavior a long road down the line?

And TWO. You have feelings for your FRIEND
Or at the very least you like the friend more than him😂

Simply you to aren't compatible, when it comes to personalities. Which is okay. Not everyone works out with everyone but I will say. Uhhh y'all not gone work out.
Whyy do you think guys and girls don't like their significant other to have the opposite gender best FRIEND.

But I guess I'll give you advice🥱

I mean, best bet is communication? And change on his part? But that's like him asking you to match his energy and always want to talk and be clingy as he is. Do you see how that's easier said than done?🤔

[ApplePie409]

I have a friend who only dates married guys she finds on Ashley Madison. But even they are clingy. They don't get the concept of "no strings."