How can I get my guy friend to stop being so clingy?

[Anonymous]

I love my guy friend to death, but he's ridiculously clingy. If he doesn't talk to me every day, he gets sad. He always tells me he misses me a ton when I'm not on I'm and always wants me to stay on longer with him (usually at night when I'm just about to go to bed). If you look on my facebook wall, almost all the recent posts from the last couple weeks are from him. He considers me his best female friend and I do consider him a good male friend, but his clinginess to me makes me uncomfortable. Soon as his schedule frees up, he wants us to hang out non stop. I'm fine with being good friends, but he's getting to the point of overbearing. Clingy makes me run the other way.

At the same time, I reeeally don't want to push him away because he's going through a rough time and really needs someone to talk to. I just feel weird that he's ALWAYS posting on my facebook wall and so attached to me. To be honest, I'm worried that guys I like will think we have a thing because he posts so much (I DEFINITELY don't want that!).

How can I get him to stop being so clingy? And, do guys assume that a girl has a thing with a guy if he accounts for nearly every facebook post easily visible on her wall (I don't respond to any of them or comment on them)?

Updates

+1 y

He's definitely not gay. I can assure you that. But he doesn't have a lot of other friends. I think I'm really the only person he currently has that he trusts.

[Janie95]

I honestly had to end my friendship with my best friend a month ago. It was beginning to be too much. What really made me uncomfortable was when he said he wanted to know me on a deeper level and be closer to my mom and I. That really set a tone and not in a good way with me. It was like he wanted to be a priority in my life and he felt that when I get in a relationship, he won’t hear from me as much, it seem like he wanted me to balance him with whoever I got in a relationship with. He was talking about future plans having my family and his family meet cuz thats what best friends do. He said how he wanted the friendship to be strengthened and have an inseparable bond. I told him it sounded too much like a relationship but he said I was thinking too much into. He basically brushed my feelings on being uncomfortable b/c as he said “you never experienced it before, it’s normal and best friends do it all the time.” I told him for two days how uncomfortable and overbearing he was... how codependent and clingy he was... he denied it all... we literally argued for two days and at the end I had to send a message and block him. Once someone makes you feel uncomfortable and they dismiss how they make you feel and they don’t try to change that behavior, it’s time to go, because now it’s about what they want and not considering how it may affect you. Yes! He’s into you... but he hopes one day you’ll change your mind but all it will do is run you away. After this I ended my friendship I learn s valuable lesson that I do NOT want a guy close to me in that way unless he’s my boyfriend that’s my best friend... because it’s frustrating and annoying as hell. I see why girls and guys don’t make good friends sometimes b/c there’s always someone who gets into their feelings.

[jesshkah]

ooh that's a rough situation.. have you said anything at all to him? id start with something small like rather than staying on with him or hanging out with him just really tell him you're busy. say something like "____ you know I really care about you but I seriously have a lot going on in my life right now and I'm really busy.. I can't hang out all the time.."

not sure if guys will think that, some will, others will think "dude this guy is so desperate.. she's obviously not interested." so hopefully you get more of the latter.

[Belgie]

Ask him if he's gay.

This will go two ways. Either he is (awkward, but whole other issue) or he'll be damn surprised you asked. In which case, you can say "Well, you act like a girl all the time. Telling me you miss me, posting on facebook so often..etc... we're two steps away from getting manicures and talking about boys we like!"

You need to be absolutely blunt with him, and explain that this is not how a man acts, and he is making you feel weird and awkward by being so clingy.

IF you are anything LESS than COMPLETELY BLUNT with him, he WILL NOT HEAR YOU.

I can't stress that enough.

You might hurt him in the short term, by being so blunt, but it's necessary. If another well meaning female friend had had the same chat with him a few years ago, it wouldn't have gotten this bad.

[gentlemanscholar]

I would tell him to stop being so clingy, in a firm by respectful manner.

[gentlemanscholar]

Correction: *but in a respectful manner*

[Janie95]

I told him but he brushed it off... said he was “protecting me”... it got so bad everyone told me it wouldn’t get better and so I had to block him.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Sounds like he's into you for more than friends. Or he just has no friends other than you and loneliness is a hell of a thing :\

[Janie95]

I think it was both... I have him list of signs that he was being clingy and possessive and he disagreed. He even said I was thinking to much into it and that he wasn’t pursuing me in a romantic way. He said I was uncomfortable because no other guy friend did that for me... but he was trying to cross boundaries that I didn’t feel comfortable in and he wasn’t understanding that at all. I had to block him.

[loveable_lexi04]

Girl, I am in the same boat as you right now. The only difference is that my guy friend is gay and has some mental issues. He’s gotten so clingy that I’ve had to block his number. I also think he’s jealous that I have other friends, too.

[Anonymous]

tell him to back off.

[Tphilly187]

tell him too stop its that simple

[Anonymous]

talk to him.