How to stop being quiet or shy around the guy I like?

[Anonymous]

There is this guy and whenever he is near me i get really nervous and shy and it’s really annoying bc I can’t control it. For example, I was having a really good conversation with my friends and we were all discussing our different opinions, then HE walks by and I end up fiddling with my bag handles and look down and stop talking. I don’t want him to think he has an effect on me or anything cos it’s quite embarrassing. I try to just act like he’s not there but instead I just go mute. He sits near one of my guy friends who I’m close with and whenever I turn to talk to him, the guy I like always looks when we are talking which makes it awkward for me to reply to my friend. Ngl we look at each other a lot whenever we cross paths. I want some tips on how I can stop being quiet around him, I just want to be myself but it’s really hard.

[15_Debo]

1. Ask why you’re being shy or self-conscious.

You may be self-conscious or shy for a number of reasons, such as feeling like you don’t look your best, or you think that he’s way too handsome for you, or you think that you’ll never come up with anything clever to pique his interest. Whatever the reason may be, this way of thinking is unhelpful because there is no perfect thing to say or way to look. It’s more important to like who you are and to know that you’re of value no matter what you say or what you look like, and guess what happens then? You will tend to communicate more clearly and feel much more confident and worthy of love and attention. Which makes you naturally more attractive.

2. Take a deep breath.

This kind of fear, anxiety and self-doubt comes from our head, from our thoughts. Sometimes all that’s needed is to take a deep breath to get back into your body and to calm yourself down. When you’re calmer, you can be a lot more rational. And if you’re rational, you’re more likely to come to terms with the fact that he’s just a guy, and there’s no reason for you to get all worked up over a quick conversation with him.

3. Keep your awesome attributes in mind.

Further to my first point, this is possibly one of the most crucial steps for how to improve your confidence around men. You’re an awesome, beautiful person with a lot to offer the world. Look into the mirror and tell yourself about all the great qualities you have, whether it’s your smile, your kind heart, your intelligence, your voice… Anything!

Remind yourself that there are a ton of reasons for a guy to like you as much as you like him. Keep these in mind whenever a man you like is around and will instantly feel comfortable around you. And when a man feels good around you he will want to get to know more about you.

4. Steer the conversation in his direction.

When you feel shy the best way to communicate with a man is ask him questions about himself. People love to talk about themselves. Our very selves are apparently our most favorite topic, so when he’s talking about himself he will feel at ease (in most cases).

Doing this helps you focus the attention on the guy, and this may help you become less self-conscious. It can also show the guy that you’re interested in what he has to say, which is always a plus! Lastly, asking him questions can further your conversation, thus eliminating the dreaded awkward silences that might drive many a self-conscious and shy girl to fill with anxiety-inducing thoughts.

5. Neutral topics are a great way to start.

No idea what to ask him? Start with something both of you will be comfortable talking about. For instance, you may work in the same office, but in a different department. You can ask him if he knows a friend of yours from the same department.

If you go to the same gym, you can casually ask him if he thinks it’s a good idea to increase the weights on your rowing machine after your third session.

If you hang out in the same circle of friends, you can ask him how long he’s known your common friend for.

Always remember that no matter how different you seem, there will always be at least one neutral topic that can help you initiate small talk. And when you’ve graduated from small talk, there’s no reason not to venture into deeper and more meaningful conversations.

6. Keep your friends close.

I’m a big believer is facing your fears and overcoming shyness, BUT if you’re really struggling with overcoming your dating jitters, then bring in some friends to help relieve the tension. A great way to ask a guy out in a casual low-key kind of way is to ask him to join you and your friends somewhere casual.

Having friends around can help you feel a little more at ease and sociable, because you already know that you don’t need to try extra hard to impress them. Also, having them around can help keep the conversation going, which may prevent you from feeling awkward around him.

I really hope you overcome your shyness
Hope it helps😉

[Jay3344]

I’ve had girls act like that around me…I would say it’s normal the way your feeling but work on trying to be open and comfortable no matter who the company is. Because when it happened to me I thought it was a little odd and I wasn’t sure whimsy to do.