Why can't women cook anymore?

[Anonymous]

In the past, virtually every woman knew how to cook, but today it seems few can make anything more than mac and cheese or ramen noodles. The only people I know who are good cooks are guys. Most of my male friends are good cooks but I can only think of one female who is reasonably proficient in a kitchen.

Is it just me? Why are women no longer interested in making real food?

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for all the responses. To clarify, I'm not asking about why women cook less than they used to. It's pretty clear than women have less time on their hands than they used to, as do men.


What I'm asking about is why fewer women are interested in cooking WELL. The average skill level among women is lower than it used to be, as is the interest in cooking well. Not so with men.


Yes, it's a generalization, but that doesn't mean it's not generally true. It is, but why?

[Anonymous]

Between my sisters, my female cousins, my female friends, and the girls I have dated, I can think of just one that is definitely a better cook than me, many that can cook just enough to get by, and several that have little to no cooking skill at all. I know it is just anecdotal evidence, and not really scientific, but I have heard similar things from lots of guys, and it is pretty clear to me that the cooking skills of women have decreased over the past couple generations.

Looking at the answers from women I see a lot of deflection, a lot of women that avoid the question and instead decide to attack men. It is really a shame, and while I believe in equality and I believe that people should do what they are best at, I know that I, and many if not most other guys, are unhappy that men these days are not as knowledgeable as men of previous generations about skills that used to be considered manly, such as woodworking, car repair, and plumbing. Many men are unhappy that they are less skillful than their fathers, uncles, and grandfathers. It is a shame that women are perfectly complacent when it comes to keeping skills alive from one generation to the next.

Of course, the fact that men are less knowledgeable about traditional masculine skills, and women are less knowledgeable about traditional feminine skills can both be pinned on the advance of feminism, and the misguided belief that women don't need any domestic skills, whereas men are expected to learn both domestic and traditional masculine skills. This leaves men trying to master a double workload, plus work a full time job, because unlike women, an unemployed man is something to be shunned. Women, on the other hand, have adopted the only part of the workload of men, and of course it is the more interesting part. Seldom will you see a woman sharpening the blades on the lawnmower, or cleaning out the gutters, but women are quick to try and get the high profile jobs with the corner office, and they were quick to adopt the "going out drinking with my friends" from guys as well.

The end result is we have lots of women acting as caricatures of what they thought men used to act like, and men trying to be pick up all the extra slack. I can cook and clean better than most women I know. I can also do the traditional "man jobs" better than most women too. Feminism was supposed to make women empowered. Instead it made them useless.

[kholland65]

On a simply level, I think its for 2 reasons.

1. The economy is requiring that wives as well as husbands work in order to provide for the family. This means women don't have the time they used to in order to cook.

2. Feminism and the like, is essentially teaching women, cooking and other traditional female tasks, are degrading and oppressive to women, and that women who do not cast these things aside, are only contributing to the further oppression of women. However, this social phenomenon is more subtle, so many women probably don't even realize they've been effected by it.

Women as young girls immediately learned to cook from their mothers. Mothers would pass down recipes to their daughters. On my mom side of the family that is traditional Italian, we still do this. The girls learn cooking during their teen and young adult years form their mothers and learn their recipes. It's just like how men teach their sons how to do things like hunt, fish, fix a car, etc. Now, this doesn't happen anymore.

Guys now are learning to cook because they are becoming aware of all this. They know they can no longer rely on simply marrying and women and knowing she can cook for him. As you've noted, most girls now, are not the chefs their mothers and grandmothers once were. Us guys knows this and are reacting to it by honing our own culinary skills.

[Anonymous]

Times are changing and things that were once valued by many in the home, just aren't anymore. I think it's important to know how to cook. My guy is a chef so I'll never be able to treat him the way he treats me . . . BUT, he knows he can come home and I'll prepare a meal for him. I think it's just nice to have someone make a meal for you, it's part of showing that you love them.

We take turns with the cooking, he does most of the repairs on vehicles, fixing things up around the house, etc. and I do most of the cleaning, grocery shopping, errand running, bill pay, etc. Whatever works for the individual couple is what matters. I think it has a lot to do with woman carrying full time jobs now instead of being stay at home wives and mothers. I want to raise our kids in a home where they can learn to value family time and carry on our morals, and a lot of that has to do with simple things like eating a home cooked meal together around the dinner table.

It's not the end of the world for a lot of women to not want to be homemakers, but I think a lot of them also don't understand that a great deal of men still desire this type of woman. Then they run around and cry about not being able to find a good guy. . . I know my fiance values that I know my way around the kitchen and like to keep house for him, probably ONE of the reasons he asked me to marry him, he said he had to keep me because of my back rubs, but I think there's probably a little more to it than that ;)

[Asker]

I love this answer. Thanks for a very well articulated response. I agree with everything you wrote but especially appreciate the last paragraph. You sound like a great woman and I wish there were more like you.

[kholland65]

I'd like to say that your last paragraph is dead on. However feminism is telling women that this desire by men, is something negative and that men are doing this out of a desire to oppress women. It really boils down to biology. A women who can care for children and keep a healthy nest, is attractive to men on a primal level. So women who fight this notion while just end up being unattractive to men. Sort of like how a guy who doesn't provide financially isn't attractive to women.

[Vesuvius87]

I think many women nowadays want to be a Hilary Clinton type. She has a professional but can also take care of her children (she does have a daughter) and of the be a housewife. This means that the age of marriage for women would now be late 20's to early 30's.

Yeah, I don't see the point of only being a homemaker and nothing else, no job, not career, no nothing. Very few women are interested in that.

[emmabee11]

The question is why do men expect women to cook and clean all the time while men sit on their ass?, it's not happening any more, men are getting a taste of their own medicine because women are tired of men saying we should be a total "perfect" house wifey type, give up our own needs, rub their ego while he goes off and has a life, it's not fair at all, we still get called sluts when things happen in the heat of the moment with a guy while them they do it and nobody says nothing, so we call them man whores to see how they feel like it constantly being criticized because of societies expectations of women that they should always see to the needs of their man yet expect non of their own to be met, just not right.

If you ever have a daughter look after her and grow her up to have the toughness of a man because it is very hard being born a female in this world, say we go to a job interview and we are competing against males I guarantee most the time one of the males will get picked over the females our lives have been limited because of a mans ego. I believe things should be 50/50 between a male and female not 0/100 since both of us have to work nowadays, both of us have to take responsibility for each other and where we live, relationships are meant to be about team work not leaving it up to one person.

[lavalamp87]

because that used to be all she had to do, and then during the day while he was off working his ass off she was out spending his money.

If you want to be respected, stop victimizing yourself and all women like immature children.

[emmabee11]

I can see this is a post where this guy only wants to hear what he wants to, in this post trying to even defend our self respect goes straight out the window, this man is a pig period and any man who agree with him is, we all should be treated equally not like this...

[Anonymous]

Cooking isn't as essential of a skill as it once was. People don't necessarily have to cook anymore to stay fed.

I know some guys who are great cooks, but overall, it's hard to find those people. I can cook, I love cooking, especially for someone who is special to me :) But my problem is that I find people don't appreciate it anymore. It's not one of the most important qualities that people look for.

If it was something that most people put as one of their no compromise qualities, then it would be more sought after and then more women would take an interest.

I don't think women who can't cook are all that common. I've only met a couple women who can't cook at all.

People have become too busy to really allow themselves to have time to cook. I agree, you can eat well on a busy schedule. But think about back in the day when most women cooked. It was something that gave them a sense of pride. A woman was known for her service to her family, church and community. A lot of times that involved how well she cooked too! Now a day's a woman is more concerned with how she looks because that is how she is judged by society.

[Asker]

Great answer - thanks for sharing your thoughts. You make some good points, but I have to disagree about it not being a quality men value in a woman. That was one of the reasons behind my question. It is important to a lot of men and I'm seeing more and more who are wondering where the women who know their way around a kitchen have gone.

[sublime4209]

im a chef and I work in an industry that is like 90% men... they know how to cook and are good at it (well at least where I've worked, usually upscale). none of my friends can cook (girls) and I think it is because they never had to, their parents did it. also, girls are less likely to grow up cooking snacks and stuff, they opt for salads and all that fresh stuff. my brother always used to make pizza or spaghetti growing up because he was hungry and wanted it. I think girls just aren't thrown into it like they used to be because its not the old days.. its the time of do what you want without helping others. I luckily grew up in a household where I learned how to cook because I had to contribute. I know a lot of girls are lazy in the kitchen cause they get worn out easily. also women are use the "im a girl" excuse a lot to get out of it, making the man do all the work. I feel the same way (being female I feel like its a given to help out and learn house hold dutites) but not everyone wants to act on what use to be the past (sexism and all, the whole 'man works, woman at home' type deal) and feel they are more free to do whatever. OR they could just be sh*tty people like really stupid or something.

[Asker]

You're a chef, that's awesome! I'm not a chef by any means but I really love to cook and have gotten reasonably good at it. I love French style cooking and am learning a lot about it. I'm a sauce freak.

It just seems to me that men are more genuinely interested in cooking good food these days. I don't know...

[udolipixie]

Why can't women cook anymore?

Probably because most people at least in my country are more interested in fast food and convenience and in the past most gals were stay at home mothers so cooking was likely a necessity.

Is it just me?

No as I find there are many gals that can't cook. It is just you in my regards on the whole more guys knowing how to cook as in my experiences and observations guys generally are quite deficient in culinary skills.

Why are women no longer interested in making real food?

Likely the same reason guys seem to be no longer interested in being the sole income-provider.

[DanAG]

"Likely the same reason guys seem to be no longer interested in being the sole income-provider."

Around my neighborhood more than half the women are home makers and the man is the only source of income. When I lived in California you'd rarely see that, but people out there are a lot more ambitious and are ruled by money. So it really depends on where you live.

[udolipixie]

@DanAG

Egh when statistics state only 24%* of households are male-only income in 2000 then went down to 8% so I don't think it really depends on where you live as I'm talking about in general.

* Working with Fathers By Jennifer Walters page 2006 check out Google Books.

[DanAG]

There is nothing in those statistics that contradicts what I said. I was just pointing out that there are still a lot of guys who are interested in being the sole income provider, and a lot of women who are interested in being housewives. Just from observation the 8% seems like a reasonable number for an average. But it's certainly not uniform. There will be places with a much higher percent and places with a much lower percent.

[udolipixie]

@DanAG

There is plenty in those statistics that contradict what you said.

8% isn't a lot of guys and gals in my opinion so that contradicts your whole a lot of guys and gals bit. 8% in my opinion is not a reasonable number to claim that is a lot for a group as 8% is a minority not a lot.

Since it's a minority that contradicts your it depends on where you life bit as this is something that is generally uncommon not like something that may or may not be common such as popular trends.

[Anonymous]

the generalization in this question annoys me.

So... women are expected to raise kids, pursue a career, keep the house clean, serve her man, AND cook? And what are men expected to do? Only pursue a career, and they get a free pass if they're less involved in other parts?

I can cook. It's just that with all the emancipation, many women have less time to prepare a home-cooked meal. I don't always have time to cook for myself, even less for other people, when one person is vegan, one person has this and that intolerance... I'd agree that being able to cook is mostly seen as a desirable trait for men. But a lot of men also understand if their women don't have time anymore to cook. FYI, I know a lot of women who are a wizard in the kitchen. So, who said that women are no longer interested in making real food? Yes, it's just you.

[Asker]

The men I refer to here are equally engaged in their families so I'm not buying your second paragraph.

Also, I'm not talking about preparing a home cooked meal every day. I'm talking about knowing HOW to cook well, and caring to know how. It just seems something women are less interested in today in general, and in my experience more men ARE interested.

Yes, it's a generalization.

[Opinion Owner]

FYI, genelization doesn't make you appear smarter.

Men are learning to really cook as an art. That's what cooking has become today. An art. Not a necessity anymore. Most people I know (men and women) can cook, in a sense that they can whip up something that's pretty tasty. Or they can make whatever they want to make. They might not be a top class cook, one who cares about presentation and decoration and stuff. People cook what they need.

[Asker]

"FYI, generalization doesn't make you appear smarter."

LOL - thanks for the heads up.

Once I got past your knee-jerk defensiveness I actually found some insight in your last answer. Thanks for that, too. I appreciate you taking time to share your thoughts.

[lavalamp87]

oh poor you! honestly, where did people write out these "expectations" for you and why are you complaining abotu them? You act like men have nothign better to do than sit around while a woman does everything. Are you surrounded by idiotic men or something? I work and make a lot of money, I cook, I clean, I have hobbies and I don't sit around bitching about how all these expectations are unfair. If I did I certainly wouldn't be here

[Opinion Owner]

those "expectations" are what I concluded from the question. You don't know me, so don't say what I act like, okay? I wrote that while being irritated by the question. Good for you if you're not bitching. I'm not either. I was just annoyed by this question, that's all.

@QA: thanks for being able to read my last answer with an understanding mind.

[jamesma87]

It's due to societal changes. Women are now expected to pursue careers and deal with the same challenges that guys deal with making them busier and having less time to pursue cooking and home economic type of stuff.

In the past, a lot of women were planning on being stay at home wives and it was important to cook, clean etc. because that's what girls were expected to do and what guys would look for.

I thought it was something more to do with my age group and younger, moreso than people over 45 though. I would say almost every girl I've dated hasn't been big into cooking, some were into baking though...

[Asker]

Yeah everyone's busy for sure. But guys are busy too and they seem more interested in and knowledgeable about cooking than women today. Those guys have jobs too.

I think you're probably right about societal changes. The whole "a woman's place is in the kitchen" thing is probably still a bit of a deterrent I guess.

[wonderw]

Odd, all the women I know can cook. It may depend on the social circles these women are part of. Perhaps their priorities are elsewhere and they are more focused on how they look, what they are wearing, for example. I personally love to cook, and I also know many men who love to cook too. I think it is a basic skill that everyone should have.

[Asker]

Agreed, especially your last sentence. Thanks!

[confugirl]

We all have careers now and fast food, or reheating is just faster. We don't have time anymore and don't want to spend all our time cooking. Here comes the cliche: I can cook and I really enjoy it. But I don't blame you. I was also surprised to learn that my one female housemate can't cook for sh*t, but neither can the guys by the way. I see a general decline in cooking skills, not just in women.

[Thermia]

I used to just not like to cook because I was busy in college and working all of the time, I would only be feeding myself, and it felt more like a chore than something fun and enjoyable. With my current boyfriend and being fresh out of college though, we have been having a grand ol time learning how to cook together and sharing meals. Knowing how to cook is fine and dandy and all, but I don't think it should be a defining factor in the quality of a man or woman. It is much more fun when my partner and I contribute together instead of separately in defined gender roles. We cook together, provide together, clean together, share bills equally, and just try to be fair about everything.

[Asker]

You guys sound great.

[1xadzy3dgSG]

Excuse you, I am an amazing cook. Last year, I made the entire Thanksgiving dinner (pretty much from scratch - a part from the turkey), and it's not like anybody was complaining. I always cook the meals. I love to cook. It's one of my favorite things to do. But, to be honest, I think it's less about not wanting to cook, and more about we live on conveniences (fast food and boxed food from the grocery store). The truth is, we just don't really have the time to do it anymore, and with such a huge stigma nowadays (usually with radical feminists), it's pretty much looked down upon for a woman to cook. But, I mean, I have come across some woman who can't (my sister is just useless in the kitchen), but for the most part, it just seems to be people being to busy to be able to cook a meal or trying to shove it to mean ol' patriarchy.

[1xadzy3dgSG]

I mean, the main reason I'm able to have the time to make decent meals is because I stay home all day.

[Asker]

Good for you! I'm glad to hear it.

[WoIIie]

Women these days are heavily influenced by achieved beauty and glamour. Being in the kitchen is far from glamorous.

If you find a girl that isn't materialistic and vain, there's a good chance that she can cook.

[dessie16]

most women maybe want to focus on other things like career or maybe they don't have the passion for cooking. In the past it was expected that a woman could cook, but its not like that now.

I personally have a passion for cooking and love to cook for others and I find it so sexy when guys can cook. My future husband should definitely have a passion for cooking too! :)

[XNicholeMariex3]

Give me a cookbook AND a baking book, you get a food coma with me.

[Asker]

Ha ha...I love it.

[Anonymous]

Men are subject to lower expectations, when a guy can manage an omelette or a steak without burning the house down everyone's like "oooh wow! a man who can cook!" but girls aren't let off so easy, no ones impressed with our basics we are only called proficient when we can pull off a 4 course dinner party or a full roast dinner.

[Asker]

Yeah, that must be it.

[bluexqueen]

Keep in mind that in the past virtually every woman was a stay at home mom. There are plenty of women who enjoy cooking. You just don't know any of them. And this whole prepackage meals and fast food thing has got to stop. It's the biggest reason so many people are fat.

[Asker]

I realize that times have chanced and women are in the work force now, but so are men. I'm not the only one who says this...it's a common complaint among men these days.

[bluexqueen]

Do you expect women to come home from a long day at work to make everything from scratch? How about men do the same. If they complain about it they can do something about it themselves.

-_-

[Anonymous]

Well my career involves two culinary arts classes and those aren't electives, it's a must. Still, I believe that anyone can learn the cooking basic and as long as it's nothing too simply like making rice and using the microwave, it's fine. I might not be a professional cook but I know how to do my own stuff besides putting things on a microwave.

However, I refuse to stay stuck at home for 24/7 in the kitchen and serve him food every day just because he thinks that's my job for being a woman. What I can do is switch turns, make it somewhat a 50/50 deal, where on a Sunday we go out at a restaurant.

And if I decide to cook a super elaborate dish, he better help out with at least washing the dishes or doing something too and not just lay there on the couch waiting for food to be served. I do work too so working and cooking with no help at all would really be unfair.

[honeyltsme]

Because gender roles get blurred. Men are taking more interest in things females used to do, women are taking more interest in things males used to do.

Cooking really well is technical and rewarding on many levels. So no wonder many guys get more into it once they've tried it.

Bon appétit.

link

[DanAG]

When I was in middle and high school boys all took shop (trades) and girls all took home ec (mostly cooking and sewing). Both were mandatory classes for two years. Imagine having different mandatory class for boys and girls today! Nobody thought anything of it then. I never once heard anyone complain about boys and girls taking different classes.

So girls from that era ALL knew at least the basics of cooking. And guys all knew some handy work.

[COCOCHANEL]

i love to cook for my boyfriend. I cooked for him on our first date.

baking is nice in the colder months. my specialties are petite apple pie tartlettes and various types of cheesecake.

[Asker]

Yum!

[Anonymous]

Everyone should know basic cooking, no matter what gender.

[Asker]

I totally agree! Thanks for your response.

[snowangle]

I dunno, haha. My mom is an amazing cook but she didn't teach me hardly anything. She said when she was my age, she didn't know anything either. So I guess she expects me to just learn as I go. :P

[Hamburgers]

Choose a woman that knows how to be a good woman.

When you meet her, ask if she can cook. If not, can she learn?

Someone has to feed the kids someday.

[Hamburgers]

Yup

[Account]

I find it extremely ironic that you have a McDonald's picture as your avatar. It kinda contradicts your answer.

[Hamburgers]

And the contradiction is?

[rudy37lee]

No kidding, how is this ironic? He's simply showing he hasn't found her yet, so he frequents McDonalds lol