What does it mean when a guy never takes you out on dates in public?

[Anonymous]

Ever since the beginning my bf and I just hung out at his house. Like, I know his family I just don't talk to them but we do greet each other and his mom would try to make small talk. My friends tell me that he should be taking me out on dates. I don't mind hanging at his house but he's only taken me out once and even that wasn't a real date. He says he wants us to work out together, go to parties but never makes it happen and he would probably bring his friend along. Is this bad?

[halafax]

One of three things, either he is cheating on someone with you, or he is embarrassed dating you, or he has no money to take you anywhere.

At this point you need to find out why he won't take you anywhere. Now mind you hanging out at the house is nice, but if you two dont go anywhere together thats kind of going to make me wonder what is going on.

[Asker]

Personally. I think he's embarrassed but he doesn't have much money or a car. I just don't know how to bring it up to him.

[halafax]

So say hey honey lets go to the movies? Go to a matinee its cheap

[biggie90]

He doesn't want to show you off or is insecure. It's not right either way.

[Asker]

Yeah I think I already fucked up when he suggested we'd go to the gym together and I kinda brushed off the idea because I didn't want people looking at us. I'm so dumb. :/

[knotme]

sounds like we doesn't want to.be seen with you or it could be money issues

[Asker]

Yeah that could be it. He's kind of a cheap ass sigh..

[knotme]

Oh ok.

[Tom_N_Haverford]

In reply to your question, I have one of my own. Do you guys fuck in the dark?

[Asker]

Haha noo but we're both shy though.

[ViviT]

lmfaoooo ^

[Tom_N_Haverford]

Nah, but seriously it's probably that he just doesn't have money to go out places a lot. I'd put low odds that your description indicates cheating.

[Asker]

No biggie, you gave me a good laugh lulz. But still sometimes I feel like I'm dating a cheap ass and while I don't care about none of that fancy crap, it still be nice to know that a guy is willing to spend something on me.

[Tom_N_Haverford]

Good. :) Well, the problem for him isn't that he doesn't value you, it's that he just does not have money to use for dates. I've been the cheap ass in the relationship before, lol. He's probably comfortable just hanging out at home with you and doesn't really think it's necessary to go to fancy places when he can have fun with you without spending money.

Suggest a cheap date, one that can be special without bleeding his wallet. Go for a picnic in a park, and pack each other's lunch. Go for a walk, and make out in every place you see that you'll probably not be seen for five minutes, but will be seen in fifteen. If there's a lake near where you live, hit that up. Stuff like that. Movies and dinner aren't the only option.

[Asker]

Hey thanks for your honesty and suggestions. I guess what makes our relationship difficult is that I'm dating a guy who's not only cheap but also he's not romantic, doesn't like to text much and only calls me when he wants to chill. I know that he's a good person but it's hard to remain optimistic when I have people telling me that I should expect more and that if he doesn't do certain things he's bad news.

[Tom_N_Haverford]

No problem. The not-romantic thing is more of a hurdle than cheapness.. Especially since both are factors. I think I may have been overly optimistic actually. He's not necessarily "bad news", but he doesn't sound very heavily invested. Try and get him to do the romantic stuff, but if he's not into it, you might want to start looking at the this as more of a fun relationship than a long-term one.

[Asker]

Yeah, that's what I've been thinking. After much thinking I've decided that I'm going to bring this all up to him and depending on his answer I'll have to leave him for my own good. I really like him but while I'm not looking to go down the aisle anytime soon I want a stable relationship, not a kiddie one.

[Tom_N_Haverford]

Good luck.

[Melissayo]

He is embarrassed of you or is using you..