Polls

I'm 45. I go bars and clubs by myself because there are not any women my age that want to. They prefer afternoon coffee shop or mediation class 😒

I spent my 20's in a relationship with an older man with drinking problems so we travelled the world but didn't go bars/clubs.

I had some time after thar relationship in my early 30's going out but had younger mates in their mid-20's to go with.

Then I was single mum raising my kids. So didn't go out at all for like 10 years.

Now I love it. And I'm way more confident at my age.

Obviously both are liars and scams, using deception to get what they want. Though would say you baby-trapping a man is worse than strining along (giving them false promises of marriage and kids) women?

Male method: He's been living with his girlfriend for 8 years and he already knows from the longest that he won't ever marry her. Yet he doesn't see the relationship as that bad, just that he sees her as a good girlfriend but not enough to be a wife. So he keeps with sweet talks and false hopes. The woman continues believing him but gets depressed the relationship isn't progressing. She's not happy. Or he proposes with a cheaper ring and keeps her as a fiancee just to give her false hope and keep her from leaving but never plans a wedding date. By wasting her time, he's taking away her fertile years.

Female method: She's been living her with boyfriend for some years but is fed up with the situation. So she elaborates a plan to pretend to be on birth control or secretly sabotage it. Sometimes the woman already knows the guy isn't the type to bail out and is against abortion or she does this to someone that believes a child should be raised with marriage. Knowing that, she got what she wanted; a short-cut to a proposal and then marriage. She might even take that secret to the grave. The man ends up believing the birth of his child as an accident or miracle from god if he's religious.

This is how a baby-trapping (this woman got marriage out of that deception and the man never found out) story looks like:

https://www.city-data.com/forum/relationships/3427335-my-20-year-old-lie-secret.html#google_vignette

Both were about satisfying their own desires and needs; selfishness. Even though both are doing despicable acts (deception is already bad), would you say baby-trapping is worse? The reason I think it's worse is because an innocent baby (a small, living human) is used as part of the deception, scam. I think that's worse than even using someone for sex or money.