Questions

I have an Anxious Preocuppied Attachment style and he is a fearful avoidant, both 28. We had been together for 3 years before he broke up with me almost a month ago while celebrating our anniversary / my birthday. The month prior, he had moved to a new city due to being transferred at his job, so new workplace as well. His company gave him 2 weeks to move his whole life over there and he had to do the move while still going to work so he was highly stressed. The city is about 1.5hrs away by train from where I am (and he also was) and I have plans to go there next year for work, so we were thinking of going there together. So a long distance relationship would have been temporary and we would have seen each other once a month in person. He reassured me that everything would be okay and that we would absolutely make it work.

When he came back to our city a week after moving/starting his new job (for the celebration), he looked very stressed. His work week was hectic and he’d get home at around 9pm every day and go straight to sleep (about one message a day). At the hotel, where we were celebrated, he seemed to be in a terrible mood so I asked him what was wrong a bunch of times and also mentioned our future (moving in together eventually, which we’ve talked about before) and he said he didn’t know and couldn’t give me the answer that I wanted. He then came up with a bunch of excuses about needing to focus on himself and his career and not having the bandwidth to be in a relationship anymore. That he couldn’t cherish me. There was no changing his mind. I left the hotel and went back home.

The next day I called to make up and talk again but he was firm in his decision so we each apologized and thanked each other and that was it. He deleted me from IG and hasn’t reached out since. I have been in NC. I’m extremely hurt and am wondering if this is temporary or permanent? He broke up with me once before but came back after 20 mins apologizing. What should I do?

We were together and he enjoyed time together with 3 kids

But when the kids asked too much of him he’d want to leave and go away. Ended up moving into a box room at his friends house even tho he has a house he let rot.

He would always say “he needs a break from me” cos I’d “demand too much from him”. I’d ask him to look after his own kids.

He was with me the day beofre he met this new girlfriend and has moved insanely fast with her. Threatened me with lawyers but didn’t do it. Obviously so he can tell this girlfriend that

He missed his daughters first day at school and now soon to miss his sons 3rd birthday

He keeps saying he has everything he wants now and I couldn’t give him that (he means going to the pub with his friends together). I just said I’m sorry I don’t wanna leave the kdis all the time to see ur friends together. Was happy to have them over and kids could finally meet his friends (never have in 7 years).

Is he actually truthful and has everything he wants or did he just not want the kids and the effort and the responsibilities

Also I NEVER STOPPED HIM coming to those days. I send over 20 messages asking him
To come those days. And making sure since he promised before this new girlfriend he would.