Religion vs love: People of two different faiths falling in love and marrying

[Anonymous]

Does this photo freak you out?

How about this one?

What is your guys opinion on the idea of people of two different faiths falling in love and marrying?

I know in certain religions you aren't allowed to marry someone unless they are from the same religion as you; and the reason is because most likely the children will follow the religion of your spouse (if you are a female married to a male) and more of a protection.

I'm a Muslim girl, I wear a headscarf, but I'm also a western girl. I have feelings for guys who aren't Muslim but tend to never pursue because I know there is not going to be any future. It really hurts but I just push it away and move on.

My family is completely opened to the idea of me marrying any person I want (race, social class, etc.) But just as long as they are Muslim!

I have a hard time talking to Muslim guys because I tend to feel like they aren't really my type of fit in my shoe; rather if its a guy who's not Muslim yet has all these amazing qualities; I just feel so trapped.

My dad always jokes and says, "if you find a nice guy, bring him to me and I'll convert him don't worry."

I just really wish marrying to people in different faiths isn't such a big deal.

I mean as long as someone believes in God; 1 God (because I'm monotheistic)?

It just gets rough.

I want to know how you guys feel about the idea or if you've ever had an experience with this?

P.s: I'd prefer no disrespectful language towards anyone's beleifs (whether you are Muslim, athesit, Jewish, Christian, Hindu,etc.)

[desidoll]

Well, I'm a Christian and I have dated a Muslim man before. Surprisingly my experience happens to be the opposite than yours. I got along with him well, he treated me nicely, everything seemed to be great except that both of us strongly hold our religions. I told him directly that I don't see myself converting and he fully understands and accepts my decision. After quite some times, we talked about this and agreed to end everything because we didn't want this to go too far as we know we couldn't be together forever. He was so sad though I could tell from his face and eyes.

My opinion is I think it's complicated and should be avoided before anything get serious. I can love him but I can't see myself marrying someone who doesn't share the same belief as me. I respect all religions but I just think the idea is not for me. Too many risks. Though in some cases both parties are tolerating each other by practicing own religion but you gotta think of the kids. This is when the problem occurs.

[TripleAce]

You gotta think kids 😕

Teach them both religions then let them choose... its something called free will... its not a problem unless you make it a problem. Pushing your views on them is bad

[desidoll]

@TripleAce I thought about this but then It makes me think if his dad would allow the kids to choose.

[lonerider]

"I'm a Muslim girl, I wear a headscarf, but I'm also a western girl"- if you wear a headscarf, you are NOT a western girl.

"My family is completely opened.." "But just as long as they are Muslim!"- that means your family is NOT completely open. they are closed.

"I mean as long as someone believes in God; 1 God (because I'm monotheistic)"
- you are narrow minded. Does someone HAVE to believe in a supreme being to be a good person. I dont have any religion but I give money to charity, be polite to people, protect my friends, respect my family, love my girl- but fuck me right? Just because I dont believe in someone sitting up there passing judgements?

I am sorry to say but you have to learn to see humans as HUMANS first.. Hindu/Muslim/Christian second. LEARN TO SEE THEM AS INDIVIDUALS.

[JRICHARDS1996]

Who said you can't wear a headscarf and be a Western girl?

In the Eastern Orthodox Church, my own religion, our women have been wearing headscarves for centuries yet they're also Christians and many of them live in the West.

[lonerider]

@JRICHARDS1996 living in the west and being western are two different things

[Anonymous]

I was raised in a conservative Christian household, though I have a very different perspective than my parents. My girlfriend was raised in a progressive Muslim household, and holds a somewhat different perspective from hers. What it boils down to is moderation, understanding and mutual respect for each other's beliefs. Faith is a personal journey where everyone makes their own choices - it's not going to work if one person makes it their business to evangelize to the other.

She and I spoke at length about our religious beliefs, and we have never fought about it. Focusing on the similarities, we both believe that God exists, that God created us and the world we live in, will judge everyone as He sees fit, and that until that day, generally speaking, God wants us to do right by our fellow man. It needn't be as complicated as many try to make it. People have been senselessly killing each other over the fine points both between and within our respective faiths for over a thousand years, and to what end? I say if you want it, if you find someone you respect and who respects you in turn, go for it.

There has been a great deal of resistance to our relationship - not from her family, but from my own. I've gone to school and worked with Muslims for the last ten years of my life; they're just people to me. They only know the acts of violence they see on the news, and have for a long time harbored barely-contained revulsion towards all things Islamic - seeing a woman wearing a headscarf at the airport or the mall prompts the casting of rude stares and ruder whispered comments. My own father argued with me at length that we ought to have nuked Mecca in retaliation for 9/11. It's funny how, when people are so convinced that a group hates them, we're often oblivious to how much hatred we're pouring on in return.

As you can imagine, the conflict of perceptions between myself and them has been the greatest point of friction in our relationship. Been trying to bring them around, but if they force a choice I can say at this point it will not go in their favor.

[hellionthesage]

I don't see it as a big deal. Obviously it requires respecting the other persons beliefs, you can't marry them/have a relationship with them with the intent to convert them to your belief structure. Otherwise I don't see an issue, I am agnostic so while I am not muslim that does not mean I do not have respect for islam I am particularly fond of the idea of jihad, I believe its the Jihad an-nafs or the struggle against self, (the whole being self aware of the darker parts of your self and the willingness to acknowledge and fight against it is quite appealing to me) and their are others, so I don't think being different in ideology is necessarily contradictory to the ideology. So, I think that you should go for those you are attracted to, if memory serves the koran (I do not know if that is the appropriate spelling or just a westernized version) states that it is not the place of muslims to convert others but rather to simply protect the truth of Allah's word until such a time that others except it since you cannot force a person to believe they must except it on their own terms (also an idea that appeals to me). The reason I mention it is that I think that by accepting others who are not apart of the religion in fact is more usefull in helping others see it and understand it and in turn except it then ostricising them for not believing so it is actually more beneficial, in short actions speak louder then words. So I would recommend just going for it and seeing what happens, it sounds like your father may not be happy about it immediatley but I get the feeling that in the end your happiness will be his priority not the theological beliefs of your boyfriend.

[Tuts333]

I think it depends on how serious a person regards his/her religion. If religion plays a big role in your life and actions, and you want to keep the tradition going then I believe people should seek the most compatible companion, whether it be issues regarding religion, race, politics etc.
If religion is not top priority, then go for it! Or if you don't think marrying the person will hinder your faith in any way. Or if you don't want to take part in your religion at all.
To add, I do think different faiths can be problematic, especially if both parties come from different faith based backgrounds. I truthfully don't see it working out well (not to say that it won't) My mother's parents were of different faiths, but eventually my grandmother converted. But for years my grandpa tried to get her to convert and she wasn't having it.

I noticed that whenever individuals marry persons of different faiths they pick up each other's habits. Whether it's converting, or simply leaving their religion altogether. Again, I do believe it depends on how highly people regard his/her faith and how willing they are to make it work.

[HookingSwan]

Yes I do think it is hard

Especially for you muslim girls. To be completely honest, I can see how that would be some kind of protection so that you faith would be the one to be passed along.

However, in a marriage, I also believe that there should exist compromise. Not to mention... Why not just expose children to both faiths and let them decide in the end?

If what matters is, like u said very well, love and the fact that u do have the same God.

Also that would give the children something that both parenst never had: their own power of choice in the matter. To follow the religion the identify most with or... No religion at all.

I am Christian and I am dating a Muslim guy so these thoughts have been very present on my mind.

He did say it would be good if children were the ones to choose when they were of age.

If someone tried to enforce their religion more than the other person, there would be somethinh very wrong in the marriage.

I am not exactly thrilled about them following a religion that I do not intirely understand yet. But because I love my guy, Id at least be willing to let te kids choose after being exposed to both.

So, even if i do understand why u r not allowed to marry outside ur faith, I also do think u should be able to have the choice to do so. Because marrying a non muslim guy does not automatically mean he will not let u have any say in the matter of ur kids' religion.

In my eyes, God values true love more than any religious differences.

isn't that what is ultimately beautiful? That love would cross bridges and overcome differences?

I think that is the ultimate beauty of love.

[HookingSwan]

And I think we should worry less about whose religious practices are the best or more correct.

Because in the end, all that matters is God and I think no one can say with absolute certainty, if they are really honest with themselves, which religion is the right one.

We dk

We are merely human and still so ignorant.

So Id say love who u want to love, even if it may be the hardest path

Nd give the person u love respect. Respect their religion, because that is also a part of them.

[HookingSwan]

Im sorry if i went off course

Im just very passionate about this subject and even if my situation is different, it is in a way also personal for me.

[archiz]

that's a very interesting debate we have here. I like how open and honest you are about the issue. this by itself is a good first step to get into a relationship with someone of different faith.
I am not religious anymore... but I assimilate religion with love.
So I can't really say religion versus love cause religion is love after all.
It is praised that god is love and and that you need to love your brothers and sisters.
You have a set of beliefs that you should respect and challenge. In a way religion is a type of relationship that you have with your god and your peers.
anw... religion shouldn't come between two people but it does... why? because of society's expectations...
I mean religion like love is fluid so having a set of strict rules and judgement isn't going to workout.
people will expect you to behave in a way...
But eventually a couple should adapt and use their own backgrounds to create a new solid base.
But but but because of society's expectations and obligations the partners might hold certain stances and prejudice and not fluctuate from it.
Conclusion disagreement and the relationship fails.

[Anonymous]

I will keep it simple and to the point , christians marry christians, jews, bhuddists, hindu... etc and all of these religions usually marry christians as well, kinda weird and not my thing but i dont mind and obviously most people dont, now when it comes to muslim this is my line i simply dont plan on falling in love with a muslim girl and i won't accept a relative of mine falling in love with a muslim guy, you might be saying... but isn't that against against your principals? dont you consider yourself racist or an asshole for denying true love? and the answer is no i do not. Why?

First of all most devout muslims would do their best to make you convert before they step into any marriage talking with you, and if you dont convert you will be facing a shitload of problems starting with her family trying to hurt you, yes it happens all the time where i live and its not uncommon at all in fact i know some people who faced such situations, people in the USA dont really take the world into consideration when talking they live in a little bubble and dont realize how fked up things are elsewhere, if you dont covert you are facing a seriously dangerous situation which sometimes ends in deaths on both sides ( both families of the love birds ) ... thats the first reason the second one is i simply can't get along with them like that, i have friends who are cool but if it gets too deep ( and it will get during marriage ) it becomes ugly , i experienced first hand from people who i considered like brothers to me, i believe i made my points clear i believe we should all be nice and good to each other but from afar, getting too close is not gonna work.

[Opinion Owner]

P. S: most people on here have very limited interactions with muslims or never really interacted with them so they dont know their way of life or traditions and thats why many will saying " true love beats all " and these kind of things , its fine you're not ignorant you simply dont know and are making assumptions based on the people you live with and interact with be it christians, muslims, bhuddists... etc but someone like me ( and there are lots of people like me ) Who actually were born and lived their entire lives among them get an inside look westerners dont really have or understand , you think iam an idiotic racist but the fact remains i do know what iam talking about.

[Firelights]

Two people of different faiths can fall in love and marry. Happens all the time. Sometimes it can cause a problem. Like, if he or she doesn't respect your views.

I was raised in a Christian household. Seventh Day Adventist to be exact. A branch off Christianity. My boyfriend is Agnostic. I love him, he loves me. The problem? He doesn't respect my religion. He's told me he things it's stupid and not worth it. That I should be free. I get it. But I don't go and say him being Agnostic is stupid. I respect his point of view. It can cause a problem if the other person doesn't respect you to a degree.

[DodgersGM]

Well, I'm Agnostic so the chances of me finding someone that believes *exactly* as I do have always been pretty slim. I don't mind it at all, though; I'll marry a Muslim/Christian/Buddhist/Atheist/Hindu/Jewish/whatever, provided that we can both respect one another's opinions.

Besides, my perspective on world religions is very inclusive. As far as I'm concerned, every *single* one of us is praying to the same God and praying for the same general things, with the presense of different religions (different variations on the stories told) boiling down to cultural differences.

[karahiri]

I get what you mean. It frustrates me knowing that i can only be with someone that is the same religion and ethnicity as myself. my family would never -make- me be with someone i didn't want to be with. but it just sucks knowing that you can bring an amazing guy home and if he's of a different background, he's always going to be viewed as lesser than. and that isn't really fair to him. at the same time, i really do see the benefits of having a shared culture and religion. it feels so nice, not having to explain all the details of my background because the person lived it too. there's a lot to be said about having that connection.

[orphan]

hindu or islam?

[YourFutureEx]

@orphan Islam maybe. Hindus don't have such restrictions.

[karahiri]

@orphan nationality andddd religion. Islam.

[ThisTemp]

hey, I know this is random but will you be able to de privatise your PMs for me i need to ask you a question please...

[ObscuredBeyond]

Both parties have to question if God really does live in them, or if it's all merely about tradition for them. That being said, it is risky to the extreme. Especially if they have children.

The Nephilim were the by-products of Seth's kids marrying Cain's kids, and the result was kids that rejected both Cain's humanistic, atheistic attitude and approach to civilization as well as Seth's God-centric approach to the same. Instead, they became "What's in it for me?" raging douches to the extreme. "And thus the Earth was filled with violence" it reads in Genesis.

Inter-religious children in the present day as well tend to not be very stable, and tend to become very selfish and bitter. Life just doesn't make sense to them. At all. And they feel betrayed by both parents.

[pinkbubble]

i am a muslim also , i fell in love with an atheist and i couldn't help it u know , so i just followed the detiny he came on my way so why not trying? eventhough he is not muslim i love him and he is just amazing so the religion thing will come with time
about marrying him , yes it's risky that he may not accept to convert to marry me , in that case i'd be wasting my time and there's no future , but i am not sure of that so? am supposed to give up on our love? No ofc
if he loves me enough he will understannd can't marry him otherwise , marrying a non muslim is just a big no no cuz of my familly also

[QuestionMan]

I guess I can sort of see where you're going from. I'm an atheist and I would only be able to date an atheist or at most someone that is secular. Preferably Caucasian since that's what I am. It is difficult to find someone that is compatible with you when large factors like religious belief or lack thereof play a role. At the end of the day though all that matters is that you're able to love each other even if you disagree on somethings since very few people have identical views on everything. So if you're a Muslim and he's a Christian and you love each other then that's all that matters.

[Anonymous]

My father is Muslim, my mother is Christian, they made it work very well for more than 40 years. Now, I am Muslim and about to have a child with a man who is not Muslim, we discussed for years before we got to this stage and he agreed to help me raise our children as Muslim. I will accept his life and take part and he will accept my life and take part. It works because both of us discuss things well and compromise well.
My children can grow up doing Eid and Christmas, just like i did. They will grow up learning about Islam, Christianity, Judaism etc... They will learn all religions and why there are different beliefs, just like i did. They will learn nobody is above the other, just like i did. They well learn how similar Abrahamic religions are, just like i did.

[REALisRARE]

I have some Bosnian friends like this. The husband is muslim and the wife is Catholic. They married and have just raised their son around both religions. Neither talks down about the other, and honestly they are a great fit for each other. In the end you've got to do what you're happy with regardless of how that makes your family feel. They need to realize that it is your life and your choice, and I think many parents would just be happy for the childs happiness. I know that is easier said.

[Low_Pride_85]

Love is universal. It doesn't know religion or race or even gender for that matter. When you love someone there is no reason in the world to not be with that person if they love you back. I can't think of anything worse than denying yourself true love because of some eles's opinion.

[HookingSwan]

I agree...

[TripleAce]

Yes of course its good

But what would you do? You are muslim, how wilk you get around that? Will you defy your religion and are you willing to go against it? Are you also willing to defy your parents? Will you marry and stay married to a guy that doesn't convert?

If you answer these you'll have a better idea of what your inner thoughts truly are

[JRICHARDS1996]

If they truly loved each other I do not think they would marry since to do so would cause the other to violate their own religion and become apostate. Instead true love would be selfless and seek what is best for the other person, even if it means ending the relationship as personally painful as it may be. That said, I could never get a woman to violate her religion just to marry me and I likewise would not be willing to violate my own by marrying outside of it.

[springocelot]

Interfaith marriages can work out where both parties can see a person for who they are above religion. Regarding interfaith marriages with muslims though, they have disastrously low success rate since the muslim partner, typically, is zealously unwilling to compromise in matters of religion. You're father's attitude is a perfect example.

[Ninja97]

My dad always told me when you meet that guy "cross that bridge when you get there" meaning.. If he's non Muslim you two can work it out.
Love knows no boundaries.
The right one is out there, your parents will be upset and are obviously influencing your decision heavily.
So basically when you meet the one, live in the moment. Let the issues be dealt with when the time is right. Your parents won't love you any less :)

[warren18]

I know that the media paint muslims in a different light, but I don't think that everybody should be tarred with the same brush. I know a few muslims and they're very nice people.

I don't know much about Islam, but if I fell in love with a muslim girl then I'd put in the effort to learn about her religion. I wouldn't have any problem marrying her if I loved her.