I believe some women are really inconsiderate, selfish and never appreciate their partners.

[Starfishlover]

I am going to write about the type of woman that does not appreciate her partner, even though he is extremely lovely to the point where I would happily hack off my right breast to be with.

This type of woman always belittles him, does not give him encouragement, does not do anything that would benefit him, just generally does not appreciate the gold that he is. She always expects him to do whatever SHE wants and it is always her way or the high way.

She always compares him to other men.

Why are some women like this? THey are so lucky to be in a loving relationship and here I am single. I would do anything for someone so long as they loved me back and those morons just abuse their men folk??

I don't know why the men stay with them though. I believe those men deserve someone better.

I believe that you need to take the time to love and appreciate your man, take him out to dinner or cook him something that he will love, make love to him all night, tell him that you love him. Because one day, you will be old and single. Just like I will be. Except I did nothing to deserve this.

Here is a song by Terri Clark that describes my feelings to a T.

[koko124]

The reason many women don't appreciate their partners is because one must experience scarcity in order to appreciate something.

If you ask an immigrant from the 3rd world what he thinks of America, he'll probably say that he always appreciates how clean the streets are, or how smooth the roads are, or how it's so easy to get food. Even though he's lived here for a while, he continuously appreciates those things, because he experienced a scarcity of them during his formative years.

The simple fact is that very few women have a scarcity mentality towards men, because men want the opposite sex much more than women do.

Most men have a scarcity mentality towards women, because they have lower value than women.

Supply and demand: Men and women are in equal supply, but there is greater demand for women. Ergo, men are worth less than women.

[MaskedSanity]

That is a really good example. I enjoyed reading this comment.

[koko124]

I was expecting a lot of girl downvotes on this one.

[Starfishlover]

You would definitely win most helpful

[Yeahhbro]

hmmm i disagree to a point. There are more women than men in the world, so supply actually isn't the same at all. However since women get approached, they on average have more sexual encounters than men. However things change quiet a lot after highschool and even college, as men improve (or worsen) their situation, chings change quiet a lot actually. Men gain a lot more power in mating and making decisions and what to do or not. Women on the other hand, if they don't improve their situation they will be left behind. And remember that women or females for that matter always look for the best provider. Basic evolution theory.

[koko124]

@Yeahhbro

That's actually a misleading statistic. There are more women in the world, but that takes into account the huge longevity disparity in old age, where women live significantly longer.

It also takes into account the high death rate of men in unstable societies.

If you look at young men in safe societies, that bias would not exist.

In actuality, the birth rate is very slightly biased toward males. Not that this is important. What is important is that men desire women more than women desire men. As a result, women have the choosing power.

Women don't always look for the best provider. Women can provide for themselves better today than at any point in human history. Even if they can't, there are tons of government assistance programs in just about every 1st world country. Providership matters a lot less than it used to.

[Tormentarian]

@Yeahhbro, please shut that pseudo evolutionary crap, we don't choose to wake every morning or afternoon because of it.

[cronogenvic]

People who hold respect, self confidence, and take care of themselves generally attract others more often than those who don't value themselves. I'm not sure why you would believe men are worth less than women. This is just completely ridiculous.

People who remain with abusive (physically or emotionally) partners tend to have low self esteem and are usually easily manipulated. Also, women can desire men just as much as men wanting women. Albeit, attraction likely rolls out differently between men and women. People who know their worth and value themselves will not allow themselves to remain in a one-sided relationship. The gender doesn't matter in this regard.

[Apriscila]

Ugh ! I know what you mean. I know a girl who moans and whines about her boyfriend. Stupid things like, she doesn't have to drive him around everywhere. He only just got his license just for her. She always posts stuff on Facebook when she is unhappy about something he said or did, making her look like the victim. Yet! He still stays with her, even though they have broken up multiple times. It is disturbing. She controls him, tells him what to do, he compromises more for her then she has EVER done for him. I don't understand either, how these girls get nice guys. Guys who let themselves be pushed around.

[ReneDS]

well i guess i am one of those guys than who didn't get appreciated. the girl i was in love with, became pregnant from me. she ignored me for 3 days, but later said she missed her period. i bought her a pregnancy test. next day she texted me, she wasn't pregnant. i told her i would drop by, so i went to the bakery bought us something for breakfast, and 2 coffee's. so i checked the test, i was saw a 2nd thin line. i went back to the pharmasists, and they told me, that she most likely is pregnant. so i bought a digital test, far more expensive but better. told her i thought she is pregnant, she got angry and told me not to act like she is a child. so i droppd of the test in her mailbox, with a note. 1 or 2 days of ignoring me again, yes she was pregnant. so yes now what, she cheated on her long distance bf, whom she didn't really love. not relevant right now. so i told her, i do want that child with you, i love you and your 7 yo daughter and i couldnt ask for mor. but at the same time i told her, its your decision, but let us make it together so we can't blame each other. i gave her several options, but she kept changing her mind every day. she wanted me to hide the pregnancy from everybody, i could never express the joy i felt, i didn't tell her aunt and uncle, she didn't wanted them to know. at work i felt stuck, her was my girl, working hard while i was doing nothing ( worked same place ) i tried some excuses to help her and her colleagues out, i felt so bad. i was stuck between 2 walls, no way out. i cried a lot at home, she said mean things to me, like when i offered her the help my parents, she told me i would not get to see my child. she did apologize. so eventually she miscarried and she had to go to the hospital, her aunt was furious with me, she asked me what did you do to my niece, she didn't knew anything so i blurred it out, at work we had problems. director wanted to fire us both, or one of us, so i told him everything and asked him to sack me, she has a child

[ReneDS]

i tried saving our jobs, but he was a bit upset, he had heard rumors of her seeing other men, and he was that i was destroying me. i heard those rumors to. so when she miscarried, she started hanging around with a guy friend, became more distant and hatefull towards me. now, she is seeing other men, yes more then one. i did my best for her, i sat 2 hours for her doorsteps, because i wanted to talk to her, i wasn't agressive. she treatened to call the police, i told her, you do that, if i have to pay for what others did to you, fine i will. she blames the miscarriage on me, i put to much stress on her, i stayed longer at work, to help them out, played with her daughter, bought her healthy food, while i had barely money left for myself. bought her vitamins, asked her to stop smoking and lessen on cafeine. i did my best, and she makes me out to be the devil, im a psycho. im going to a counseler and taking anti depressants. so i get your frustration, but from a different stand point.

[ReneDS]

and i think you are very pretty and you seem very realistic, i would sure love to date such a sincere and open girl, because thats the opposite of what she was.

[Starfishlover]

Honey, I do hope you won't turn out to be bitter and jaded because of one whore

[Tormentarian]

Don't mind this whore, did I spell that right... WHORE. You did the right things, but on your part a bit naive, but now you know, a bit smarter for next time you meet someone else; don't dwell too much on it, u strong as you are bro, great character. Sometimes just be a it too sceptical, don't say much, just advise strongly and just watch and observe to see if there is a projection of change in the future.

[ReneDS]

thanks dude, i really needed that. i know im not a bad person but she is turning me into this evil person that i'm not. now she is liking a fb page about online shopping for baby stuff, im so angry and depressed at this very moment, if i find out she is willing to have someone els his child after 2 / 3 months, after throwing me into a depression, i most likely will assault her or the person who she is expecting it from. i will not let her unpunished , she talks bad about our child, she insults me, makes me feel bad about myself. if thats the way she wants it, if she wants me to be this psycho im not, she will get it... you know sometimes i wish i was dead, or never born.

[heavensgift2girls]

I think people often judge their own value based on how others treat them. I have noticed with both genders the more their partners mistreat them, the harder they try to win the other person's approval. They think if they can win the other person's approval that it will somehow validate their own self worth.

The moment their partner starts treating them too well, the moment they start thinking their partner isn't good enough for them. I think this is because we often see it as our partner trying to over compensate for not being good enough for us. Since they see themselves as beneath our own level, we can sometimes end up thinking they must be right and that we may deserve a better partner that is on our own level.

Unfortunately people often respond in the opposite way they should. The worse they treat us, the harder we often try to fix things, and it causes them to lose even more respect for us. In turn they treat us even worse than they had been because we lost even more respect for us. It becomes a really bad cycle. A balance needs to be reached, between taking them for granted, and catering to their every desire in order to keep the relationship healthy.

The women that are mistreating the men that you are talking about, most likely need a more dominate male, in order to be able to respect him as an equal. I have seen the type of women you are talking about ending up with an overly dominate man, and he ends up mistreating her, as bad as she use to treat the men that had worked hard to treat her well, as she attempts to earn the dominate man's approval.

I think this ultimately comes down to a compatibility issue. Most people need a partner that has a dominance level that isn't too high, or too low, compared with our own.

[Theguyoverthere]

I think a huge problem is that too many parents are raising young girls telling them they "deserve" things instead of earning them. These girls become so toxic to the point where they spin whatever they did wrong and make it look like the guy did something wrong.

I had one girl who was like this. It became an on/off thing fighting over stuff (mainly her cheating). The thing is she started out all nice but became very nasty after a while so I was holding onto the first parts hoping it'd get better but I just had to dump her for good after a while. When I'd try to confront her about cheating (she let an ex into her room late at night and denies them doing stuff) she'd try to spin it on me making me out to be a bad guy because I'd accuse her of such a thing or she'd deflect the issue altogether. The final straw for me was when she told me on the phone that she could cheat on me and I'd never even know. I can't be with a girl who thinks like that regardless of whether or not it'd even happen. In this case it was happening.

I do think guys need to put these kinds of girls in their places. The problem is that too many girls have toxic behaviors. They have it in their head that the world needs to bend over and do what they say. They'll never know what it's like to earn something.

[meatballs21]

If you could give MHOs on takes, this would be it.

They are raised to believe they are all princesses and special and valuable - not just for being an individual, but intrinsically worth more than everyone else.

Problem is, there are plenty of stupid/desperate guys who will put up with or enable this behaviour and so it continues.

[Theguyoverthere]

@meatballs21

Thanks. Simply reading around online the girls' comments speak for themselves these days. Even just reading dating profiles. You'll see a very average girl with a profile of vague statements like "I'm nice and caring" followed by a "shopping list" that ranges from refusing to date a guy without his own place to refusing to date a guy without a specific style haircut.

[Prof_Don]

Yup. Spot on. To many spoiled bitches in the dating pool.

[AnggieGirl]

Great Post @StarFishlover
I see it lots and I hear it from nice men. My guy is great and so much that I became suspicious. But I put my suspicions down and complimented his ways and his communication and his smiles etc. A part of me assumes my admiration for his organic behavior has kept him treating me this way. So its a secret win win that we hardly bring up together. We can have lots of conversation or we can have none and still appreciate each other. You will find your starfish :)
Those rude women who disrespect good men will either make those guys turn bitter and single afraid to commit or make the men remember that superficial b*tches are low (brownie points for us ;))

[Sampo]

I agree with you. I have seen relationships like this where the girl just does not deserve the man she is with and he constantly grovels over her while she just walks all over him. Those relationships make me sad.
But there is a lot we don't see in someone's private relationship versus the public one.
It's hard to show appreciation to someone who doesn't appreciate you. I mean in this scenario you are talking about the guy is completely loving and perfect, but that's just not realistic. Not every guy is going to be totally attentive all the time, and neither is every girl. It's hard to find a balance when you're both expecting so much from each other.

But I do agree, those girls who don't appreciate a good man, will regret it when he's gone.

[AleDeEurope]

I agree, and I think it also applies to men who have the perfect girl, and just treat her like shit, cheat on her and who knows what else.
I'd give anything to find that person, but just like you, I'm single, and it looks I'm gonna be like this for a long time. I don't like to say life's unfair, but I sometimes believe this, or, I'm just too bad xD
Some people don't know what they have, they don't appreciate it, they don't realize the other person is human too.
I don't think relationships are too complicated, and showing love to your partner is not difficult at all, and it should be shown every day you're with your partner.

Good take ;)

[Tirana]

While this is quite valid in many cases, the opposite is also true. So many men take their woman for granted, and then can't understand when she leaves him. I'm not talking about physical abuse, either, that's a totally different subject.

You being single, regardless of age, is not based solely on how badly other women treat the men they are with. Appreciation ought to be a two way street, with each person in the relationship giving AND taking.

The point here is not that you are single, but have you always been single? Have you never dated, never been in a relationship, or are you just currently not in one? If the latter is true, you just haven't found or been found by the kind of man that appreciates your appreciation. If it is the former, I can't really help.

[Starfishlover]

Everyone is being taken for granted, but 99% of the time, it is subconscious... I am guilty of this too but I have self awareness to come back and love my partner. If I had one.

[FatherJack]

Let me give you a few words of comfort , firstly there are more men than women , especially in the younger age groups. Also being female you have all the advantages in dating , it's generally always the girl picking the guy. A lot of men DO NOT approach women nowadays mainly because of the bitches you mention , most Western women have hostile attitudes towards men , mainly due to media brainwashing ( male bashing is rampant !! ) & man hating feminazis. Men also need to show bitchy women who is the boss ( they secretly like this ! ) Women are bitches because they are both encouraged to be by " society " & they can get away with it !!

[Applefan1]

I love this take. Finally a woman that can see what us men go through. I agree with everything you have to say here. I experience so much of what you are saying. 😞 I really loved that song to the message is entirely correct. I really love your attitude, you honstly have just made yourself look like such an attractive woman. Thank you so much I needed this 😀

[Starfishlover]

Everyone has faults. It just pains me when good and amazing men waste like this. It saddens me to no end and I become so angry at God. I become angry at Him and I ask him why I can't be blessed like those women? There is nothing wrong with me. I hope this changes soon.

[Applefan1]

Yup well I am one of those men that is kind, caring and kind. I have so much love to give and I would never cheat but all I ever get in return from most girls is being treated like I am the scum of the earth, I get laughed at, treated meanly and so many girls are just strait out nasty to me. It has really affected me badly and now I have pretty much had to give up on the idea of experiencing the kind of love other guys get from a girlfriend. I have never had a girlfriend. 😢

[Applefan1]

You sound like your an amazing woman and any guy would be so lucky to call you his girlfriend.

[Applefan1]

LMFAO at the girl that down-voted me, how pathetic.

[Starfishlover]

Dont pay her no mind... I would so love to find a guy that would appreciate me.

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

I down voted you.

[Applefan1]

I know how it feels I would so love to find a girl that appreciates me and realises I am a good person but it is never going to happen so that is why I have pretty much given up on love and think more and more these days how I need to take myself out of the dating world.

[Applefan1]

@GirlScoutsRevenge why just for saying what I have experienced?

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

I didn't agree with your statement. That is what the down vote button is for.

[Applefan1]

@GirlScoutsRevenge but like I said I was saying what I have experienced and you have no idea what I have been through.

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

So, do you know everyone intimately that you've done voted? No.

It's what the button is for, I didn't spit in your face I just down voted.

[Applefan1]

@GirlScoutsRevenge You are missing the point and you don't want to see it. Like I have said for the third time now oh wait why am I bothering. What a waste of my time. That is not what it is for, it is not for down voting people that are explaining what they have been though, which I have now said for the third time! your argument does not even add up and I can't be bothered with someone that does not even want to listen. SMH -.- Haha.

[Applefan1]

@GirlScoutsRevenge how it comes across is you are butthurt haha and that is the real reason you down voted me lmao haha. Time to harden up. hahahaha

[Applefan1]

@GirlScoutsRevenge

[Applefan1]

@GirlScoutsRevenge lol

[FatherJack]

Upvoted , no surprise @ the female downvote !!

[Anonymous]

This is true, I'm not denying that some women are simply disgusting with their men. However, I'm sick and tired of seeing women bashing Takes here on GAG and I truly believe that it is becoming a trend. I don't call myself a feminist or anything of that nature, but I will say that I'm repulsed at how many Takes are about how women should stop doing this, or how women should stop being this way or that way, what she should wear and say. We get it. We aren't perfect Angels and sometimes very harsh to men, but we also have to understand that a lot of the way we are is self-taught and some women have just had bad experiences etc .

[Opinion Owner]

Think of it this way: we live in a society where feminism is on a rise and the whole tough girl act is highly respectable amongst women. I'm not this way and my friends and family call me out as a subservient women. I don't feel I'm this way. I'm just more calm. However, I'm told that I shouldn't be this way. It's almost like a contradiction in a way that women have to face in our society.

[Anonymous]

For most of human history, there have been men and women who take advantage of those who have low self-esteem. They can treat them like shit because deep down, the abused partner believes they deserve no better and won't be able to find a better partner than the one they have.

You might think you would Amazonianly cut your boob off to have one of those downtrodden men. But that's just your own desperation or isolation talking. The truth is, unless you happen to get off on abusing those with low self-esteem, then there is virtually nothing about low self-esteem humans to recommend them as partnership material.

[Starfishlover]

That is not true at all. I have been raised to the point where I would feel immense guilt if I even kill an ant. Therefore, I would never abuse anyone

[Opinion Owner]

I think you missed the point of what I said.

[Prettykangaroos]

Meh, everyone can be selfish no matter what gender they are, or whether or not they're in a relationship. Your point may be valid, but it sounds like it's coming from sour grapes (whether it is or not, I don't know, I'm just saying that's how it comes off)

[Starfishlover]

I know , but since there are a high number of women that are abused, I would think that if they found a good man that does no such thing and treats them with respect, they would love him deeply.

[been_waiting]

Really, TakeOwner? Women should fall in love with a man simply because he doesn't hit her?

[DocT1977]

I have to be honest here. There are a lot of men who treat their women fairly poorly as well. I would say that proportionately, It's about the same on both sides. It comes down to knowing self worth. What you are seeing is what amounts to be a door mat. What you are seeing is someone who does not stand their ground as the illusion of gaining the affections of the unloving partner seems more important than their own dignity. Sadly, This is something that many men and women end up dealing with.

[killerboots]

Yea I would give an arm and leg to be with a good woman. I'm semi-young, single, no kids, great job (postal worker), got a car, no criminal record, good worker, honest and still can't find a good woman. Yet I get very upset when I see a guy the total opposite of me get the girl but I tried to suppress it. Anyway, great take. This should apply to all genders.

[Starfishlover]

Thank you xx

[Hopefuldreamer8]

I know what you mean. I know some women who are like that with their men. One even slaps him to "keep him on his toes." She knows exactly what she is doing. The guy is so devoted to her. I'd give anything to have a guy who loved me like that and I would show him my appreciation too.

[Kshppatel]

OP I do agree with your take but you need to stop worrying about other people. Just worry about you and improve yourself to be the best person you can be. It comes across as you are jealous that they have what you want and you are attacking them because you feel they don't deserve what they have and that you do deserve it. Its kind of the same as a "nice guy" complaining about women wanting bad boys. Just focus on yourself and screw these other relationships..

[Anonymous]

Very good take. It's nice to see a woman calling out other women for their bad behavior. That has been mostly absent for a long time, for various reasons.

Of course men should call out other men for their bad behavior as well, but I think men have generally been much better about doing that than women have. It's nice to see hints of that changing.

Thanks for posting this.

[chives]

true they are some ungrateful people out there, but the the other person still has a responsibility to respect themselves and not be manipulated, also I would like to add you shouldn't be mad for how a person acts as that is there problem and they will create there own suffering by acting selfish. The trouble with passive people putting up with this abuse is that it enables their behaviour to continue, but they probably won't listen to you to leave

[Anonymous]

Not every woman takes their partner for granted. Also keep in mind what you see or hear can be deceiving, someone can look like "gold" to you but surprisingly most of the time that's not what it's like behind closed doors between that couple. I think it's just good to keep an open mind, yes there are some women and men who take their great partners for granted, but usually in the long run something gives. Nothing lasts forever.

[Starfishlover]

Let me guess, you are probably one of those women that I described, right? EVERY single woman INCLUDING my mother is never happy with their partner. You should see my father, ABSOLUTELY lovely and giving and generous. He gives her EVERYTHING. She is always mean to him. She says exactly the same thing as you when there is NOTHING to complain about!!

[Tormentarian]

@Starfishlover Some women are... its unfortunate, but you do realise you are not like your mother or those other women. Sort of like a good evidence of yourself in a mirror, so be happy... Perhaps talk to your mother about these kind of things, general human relationships are hard as they are, incept familial relationships; being human becomes an undesirable occupation sometimes.

[Starfishlover]

HA!! I talk to her about stopping this. SHe never listens. Remember? THese women employ the "my way or the high way" policy?

[Springfairy]

She did say "some". I don't think she was implying that all women are like that. Obviously not all are. I thin you might have misread her post.

[Anonymous]

LOTS of people are selfish and inconsiderate, not just in their relationships, but in life in general. It has nothing to do with gender and all to do with personality. I do hope you find someone good. There ARE great people out there too.