My girlfriend told me to never talk to her again so I stopped talking to her. Now she is mad at me for not talking to her... what did I do wrong?

[Anonymous]

Me and my girlfriend got into an argument about a week and a half ago. There was a lot of yelling involved and some harsh words were exchanged. At the climax of the argument, my girlfriend said "NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!!!". I said, in a frustrated voice, "fine". After the argument, I obeyed her wishes--I stopped talking to her. I didn't call her, text her or IM her. After a week and a half (today), she showed up to my apartment even angrier than when I left her. She banged on the door with a fiery rage and said "Open Up!!!". I let her in and wanted to know what was the matter. She said "Why the fuck are you not talking to me anymore!" to which I said "Because in the last argument you told me to never talk to you again!". She said "You are a fucking idiot" to which I said "How am I an idiot? You told me to never talk to you again so, as you requested, I stopped talking to you. I am pretty sure when you tell someone to never talk to you again, you want them to not talk to you again." She then stormed off in a tizzy. I talked to some of my friends (both guys and girls) and they all unanimously agreed that I fucked up. I don't understand what I did wrong.

[Anonymous]

When a girl tells you to stop talking to her you can either do what you did, ask her "do you really want me to stop talking to you at all?", or look at it like she's pissed, but didn't actually mean to stop talking to her. Most likely girls say that because they are in a foul mood and still want you talking to her. In a relationship no matter what, whether she/he says "don't talk to me", if you really care and love the person you won't stop talking.
I'm in a relationship and I love and care about my boyfriend very much. When one of us are in a foul mood, we give each other space and some time, and then we move on. Not for one week and a half. That just shows you don't give a crap anymore.
Best thing to do is apologize to her and say that you didn't understand whether to literally stop talking to her or give her some space and time alone so she can cool off.

[mth692]

Wait, why can't you just say then I need some space and I don't want to talk about this now instead of just saying I don't want to talk to you anymore and leave it up to assumption? To me, it'd be wasted energy and exasperation trying to play mind reader.

[Anonymous]

Many girls say the exact opposite of what they mean when they're upset. I try not to do this because I think it's stupid, but I still find myself doing it sometimes.

E. g. Someone asks me, "how are you?"
I say, "okay thanks"
In reality, I'm thinking, 'if you cannot see that I am really upset/sick/downcast right now, then you don't care enough to look closely anyway, so why should I tell you about what's going wrong in my life?'

E. g. From my parents:
Mum: "You don't like doing the dishes? Fine! Leave it all to me; I'll do all the dishes from now on."
Dad: "ok"
Mum (a few days later): "your father doesn't even care enough to help me out with the dishes"

[Caren-Field]

Guys and girls are so different; our behaviors are often super confusing to each other, because we really don't understand how.

I've studied Anger and the differences between men and women for a long ti, e, and your story is very common. You did what she said, but she didn't say what she meant. She said what she said and thought you'd know what she meant. Frustration causing on both ends.

Anger is my topic this month, meaning my Q&A call, my Twitter chat, and my next GAG article will be on Anger. Check out my bio page for more details.

[mth692]

IMO, I agree with your reaction because in a healthy relationship you should have the presence of mind to say that I need space and don't want to talk about this now instead of just saying I don't want you to talk to me and leave it up to a mind reading assumption when you should go talk to her. It's just one more unnecessary thing to fight over and it doesn't contribute to finding a resolution to your relationship issues. You have to tell her that even in a healthy relationship, two people aren't mind readers. If you want to effectively discuss issues without the few insults being thrown around, you have to explicitly state your concerns and needs when you feel you are cooled down and tell me when you are cooled down.

[7heDubz]

You dun goofed.

RULE NUMERO UNO!
Whenever a girls says that she is quote on quote "fine" when you ask her what is wrong, she is not fine. The same goes for when they say anything along the lines of "never talk to me again".

What they really mean is you fucking fucked up now call me tomorrow and apologize to me.

[chuckyegg]

You didn't talk to her, that's where you went wrong. Females say one thing and mean another. When a girl says that they don't want to do anything for valentines, it means they want you to do something.

Always do the opposite to what they tell you, unless it involves housework in which you do what they tell you to do.

[7heDubz]

not everything, there are certain things.

[otakulife]

when a girl tells you to do not talk to her again, you should talk to her.. she only said that to gain your attention and to make you apologize.. girls are like that.. Hope everything gets better in your relationship.

[Roarke]

lol you did nothing wrong... now, if you let this psychotic bitch back in your life, then we're talking huge mistake.

Oh and i don't know where you live, but in the US we have what we call a 'restraining order'. At least Google it.

[523206720]

You didn't do anything wrong. She is just being a jerk. Block her number. Block her e-mail address. Block her facebook. If necessary block her friends. Tell her if she bothers you again you will file a restraining order against her.

[Anonymous]

Now is the time for her to be your ex-girlfriend. She seems manipulative and psychotic. Dump her and find a normal girl. She needs to realize her actions are immature. I hate women like her, and not all woman are like her.