Boyfriend seems distant and irritated

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend have been dating a little over a year now and recently he has been acting like a jerk. He doesn't talk to me as much (we live together) and everything I say or do just seems to irritate him. It started about a month ago. Also he is very sensitive to me touching his phone and looking at his laptop. He once got very defensive when I jokingly said I was going through his browser history on his cell (I was obviously playing a game). And every time he gets a text or call he turns the screen away so I can't see. I don't believe he would ever cheat on me because he has been cheated on in the past and swears that he would never ever do that to anyone. I know atm we are very stressed out but no more than what has been going on for the past year. I don't know what's going on help please I love him very much and don't want to lose him. He's says he loves me and wants to make this last but lately I don't know... :(

[Seenthatmovietoo]

It is a well known phenomonen where when couples first begin living together and after the newness wears off, where one or both begine to notice that they have virtually no private space whatsoever. They knew that this would be part of living as a couple but still it can be disturbing when you lose virtually any personal identity at all. And matters can inflame when your 'loving' mate starts claiming the 'right' to go through your browser history, monitor every cell call and claiming the 'right' to know where you are at all times; know all of your friends; approve or every errand, know who you talk to and when etc etc. Your choosing to exascerbate this complete lack of personal space or lack of unknown identity is causing him to withdraw as should well be expected.

You want to keep him? Don't try to 'own' him. Give him some privacy. No one else can do it but you.

When/if you have kids you can practice that 'all-knowing mom-with-eyes-in-the-back-her head tracking your every movement' behavior if you really must but let your man be a man and have a life that he shares with you and not a life that you know everything about.

Allow a little mystery, it's the only way you'll ever get a nice surprise.

Good Luck

[mustang99]

Try talking to him. Communication is very important, maybe talking to him and asking him what's up could help. Try telling him that your not trying to start any kind of argument but that he doesn't seem like himself lately and that if he wants to talk, your here. Or, if the two of have been under stress lately, maybe a night out every once in a while would help, or some sort of vacation for a few days, if its possible.

[Asker]

I have asked him in the past if anything is wrong or if he's upset and he says he's fine but it's obvious he's not. He only gets more irritated when I ask...

[mustang99]

Then see if the two of you could maybe go out, or do something romantic to get away from the tension of the house for a while.

[x0xMelina]

Just because someone has been cheated on before DOESN'T mean they won't cheat on someone else. He's being secretive about his phone, doesn't talk to you as much, and got DEFENSIVE when you said you went through his history. If he's not hiding another women, it's very CLEAR that he's hiding something.