Is this wrong? my boyfriend is questioning his sexuality and wants to kiss another boy while he is still going out with me, to see if he likes it :(?

[Anonymous]

So he never even told me, i found out by his girl best friend.. because they tell each other everything.. and i asked him on the phone and he said he thinks he might be bi, but he wants to know and he CAN find out by kissing a boy to see if he likes it. and he's saying its not really cheating, (because to him locking lips isn't actually cheating, which pisses me right off ) i think this is totally weird. like he thinks it'll be okay to snog another person just to know if he is into guys. but if he does like it.. no matter how much he denys it, he's gonna deffiently want to do more with a guy. what do i do.. and if he is bisexual i'll never satisfy him

[Junlian]

You need realize some things. Relationships don't last long in this generation, another thing he's not married to you so he really don't owe you his heart and soul just yet. So backing out is all cool, though I disagree with it. Let him decide on his own what he wants to do and then tell him how you feel. If he make excuses then get ready to threaten the relationship. If he just want to test the waters tell him you disagree and your relationship was not built on having other joining in the party. If he lie or does his act behind your back anyway then take it that this what he choose and tell him how upset you are. Try working something out. If all fails then let it go. And move on cause you did your part be didn't do his.

[Asker]

okay thanks for the advice

[Junlian]

Your welcome. Need help with anything, message me if you want.

[Asker]

thank you so much

[drb125]

If he's with you and intends to be with you then it shouldn't matter if he's bi or straight. If he wants to hook up with a guy then let him do it when he's single. If he does so while you two are in a relationship, whether he likes it or not, then I'd recommend breaking up with him.

[drb125]

Think of it this way, if he was attracted to you and another girl would you let him kiss/makeout/what ever with other said girl to find out if he is actually attracted to her or not. Same issue with a guy. Just because someone has an attraction to someone else doesn't mean they should act on it, especially if they're already in a relationship

[Asker]

yeah i agree. but he told me on the phone last night "he would like to know if he's bi, and he can do that by kissing another boy.. i said " watch some gay porn" and he said he would rather do it by kissing :(

[Asker]

oh yeah.. thank you.. i see how wrong this truly is now:( i dont know what to do.. i mean i love him so much and he was my first time.. so its getting harder to know what to do

[drb125]

If he would rather kiss another guy then be faithful to you that might not be a relationship worth keeping...

[Asker]

i agree, i'll talk to him today about this more.. we talked for 2 and a half hours yesterday but its just not sorted atall.. i dont see coming out of this one to be honest.. :(

[drb125]

Well good luck

[dipta]

And keeping you at the same time, so if he doesn't like it he can go back to you?
Lol, I don't have to kiss a girl to know I'm not a lesbian. Or to kiss a guy to know I'm attracted to them...

[Asker]

exacty! like i think he will like it that makes it even harder for me to stay with him

[dipta]

His very notion of what is cheating and not should upset you more. It's not good he thinks he can do anything he wants and still get to keep you and waiting for him. Your self-respect and what you want from this relationship are in a way more important than he is. He needs to realize that if he cares about you, and if you have to break up with him for him to realize it... you don't even have to wait until he kisses whoever he intends to kiss.

[Asker]

i mean he was my 'first' and i really do think i am in love with him.. so its really hard.. like i really wanna stay with him. i haven't got anything against, bisexuals, gay, etc but going out with one personally isn't going to be easy :(

[dipta]

I feel you. That makes everything hurt more, but that's also why you need the same level of commitment from his part. I suppose he knows where you stand, so have to wait and see how he acts.

[Asker]

i will. he said he won't do it if i'll dump him for it.. but he's never going to be happy untll he really knows if he actually likes guys. so im stuck with what to do.. should i dump him and so he can kiss and do stuff with all the people he wants.. should i stay with him and let him kiss a guy to see.. no matter what i can't win

[rjroy3]

If he said "I felt like kissing a guy today, I wonder if I'm gay." That would be one thing. But he's asking you to be ok with him cheating. That's not ok. I'd say break up with him. He can kiss whoever and you can find someone else too

[jmmmfi]

Just end it and tell him to go kiss who or whatever he wants. This is weird.

[Asker]

I Knowww :(

[Tiffanymonroe]

he's ready 2 be dumped

[Asker]

i was close to dumping him.. but its not as simple.. like i forgive him for anything whcih isn't good i know.. but he said so himself once "she loves me to much to break up.. which kind of implys he can do what he wants and i won't dump him

[MoVeMoVeMoVe]

That's stupid.

[Asker]

i know :(