My boyfriend's brother is interfering in our relationship...

[Anonymous]

I am starting to hate my boyfriend's brother. His brother moved down here from NYC a few months ago and now lives with him. He is always asking to use my boyfriend's car and asking him to take him to work which isn't close at all. It seems like every time my boyfriend is with me, his brother calls him for something. And as always my boyfriend jumps up and does it for him. I understand that is his family but his brother is a grown a$$ man in his mid 30's and my boyfriend shouldn't have to baby sit him. His brother is completely selfish and if it's not his way then it's no way. My boyfriend even complains about it and he keeps promising that things will get better but it has yet to happen. I really want him to move back to NYC.

I am fed up today because my boyfriend gave the car to his brother late last night and was gone almost all day today. He wouldn't pick up his phone when my boyfriend was calling him or anything.

What should I do? I try to stay out of it and offer my advice to my boyfriend when asked but it is affecting our relationship. The situation is way worse than what I can explain right now. The only time his brother bugs him is when he is with me it seems like, and maybe I'm being paranoid. I don't know what to do. I wouldn't want to make my boyfriend chose between me and his family because that wouldn't be right. I'm just tired...

[mrsvincenoir]

Well the way I see it is that your boyfriend has to deal with it-if you keep on at him about it (even though its annoying) you will end up being part of the problem.

Odds are eventually your boyfriend will get sick of it,i know I would eventually.

Dont forget if the guy has just moved there he is going to be leaning on your boyfriend until he finds his feet and gets set up a bit.

It may seen like its only when he is with you but could that be because if he's with you,hes not with his brother? What I'm saying is it might be whenever he's not with his brother,not just when he's with you.

If you have told him once or twice how you feel,give him a bit of time to sort it out.If it gets to the point where it is actually stopping your boyfriend from spending time with you then I would say you have every right to state your case but I would personally give him a bit more time to sort it out himself-he will get sick of it,and when he does,there is noway you can be dragged into it then.

Bide your time on this one is my opinion.

[rockmom]

your boyfriend is a grown man too and its up to him to decide who he lets use him or control him. its up to you to decide how much you can put up with and let your boyfriend know where you stand on the matter.

[jacquesvol]

You can't do much about it, your boyfriend has to do that.

Just hope his brother moves or finds a serious girlfriend: I'd bet he hasn't a serious one.