My boyfriend is obsessed with his brother?

[Anonymous]

I know most of you are going to say that family first and I can't make him choose. Well I don't want to make him choose, I think his family is awesome.

But He ditches plans we make to go hang out with his brother. He texts him constantly and calls him (just to talk) at least 3 times a day, even though they hang out almost every day for at least 3 hours. They even work together.

I'm not asking for anything more than balance, but every time I bring it up he freaks out and says that I'm jealous of his brother and that's ridiculous. I just want him to make a little time for me and stick to the plans we make together.

He says he wants to marry me, but if that means continuing on like this I know I can't. The only time I see him is when his brother is spending time with his girlfriend, (and he never ditches her to spend time with my brother.) It wasn't like this in the beginning so what's changed?

Is this insanely unhealthy? And is there a way I can bring it to his attention without putting him on guard?

[Anonymous]

I am going through something similar... hence why I've found your post at all.
As if the gaming addiction wasn't enough, now his brother plays certain games. And even before that everything was always "my brother my brother my brother". Always had to be messaging or talking on the phone and it wouldn't matter what we were doing or talking about. Hed just randomly decide to call his brother forever and halt our apparently not so interesting conversation. But now. This game. I have no chance. I can make plans with him and if his brother comes on literally last minute... I'm screwed. Plans are cancelled right as they were about to happen. Hed so ask me what I was going to do instead or whatever. And he knew very well I'd been waiting to do things with him all day, so hed hear what I have to say. It didn't matter what I said, as soon as I answered even if it was me saying please dont play right now we were going to do this... not even a split second later he will tell the brother to get the game started. A slap to my damn face.
And his explanation is always "no. I'm playing with my brother." And he would always have a flip out if his brother happened to play alone or with others that was really unhealthy. I'll put it into context, I used to flip out the same way with a guy I was dating back in the day.
... I dont know what to do. I like the brother... other than he will hear my protests against my boyfriend and not care. Neither of them will care.
My whole Christmas centered around him and that game. And i got hurt so many times. :/ I've seen mamas boys. But never this. I dont even know what to do.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure he's ditching the plans you make together to be with his brother? Are you sure he's not playing you? He's texting his and hanging with his bro constantly could be a ploy that tons of guys use to get away from their girlfriend. I have a brother that plays pro football, if I had to choose between hanging with him or my girlfriend, I would choose her 90% of the time.

[Asker]

Yeah I'm sure, his brother has confirmed it, and I drop 6 packs of to them randomly now and then as a means of checking up. Everytime I drop by his brothers place, he's there. Its really all about his bro, like I said he's always txting fbook msging and calling him.

[Anonymous]

My ex's brother dictated our relationship basically and it created a world of problems. I couldn't stand the outside influence. She'd put him before me and always valued his interests over mine and it sucked. Best thing that ever happened to me was her leaving.

[Asker]

:( that sounds unhopeful

[Opinion Owner]

I am so much better off without her.