Iv never had a boyfriend and since I was 13 I approached guys and rejected me or had gfs or lied they had one. Im always doing my full time college classes and working everyday and work on my fashion YouTube and instagram page and volunteer at fashion beauty events in la, Hollywood. When I go out I see everyone already with boyfriend & no one has ever asked me to be their girlfriend. I'm nice & smile but I'm still alone & go eat at restaraunts alone, sad. I'm studying business and it's not bad to want your partner. One guy I liked a lot I met at a job and talk ever since for 1year & took me to go to a date with him 1time &we have madeout before but still hasn't asked me out & distant & just sends pics a lot but I haven't talked to him for a month & still doesn't ask 2 be my boyfriend. He was my besfriend & I loved him & want him to be mine. I love guys with tattoos & dark hair & there's a singer I crush on that looks very similar to that guy. That singer has a girlfriend and date &I give gifts & do everything & are in love & It's not fair people can date & be happy & have who they want & but with me I'm only broken. I might go to a bar or t pay attention to me & slammed the door in my face & knew it wasn't meant to me y do I even try. I feel I shud Go to a club & find anyone there cuz I can't get any guy. All my family and people I know have their special person & im just stupid there all alone. There's no one I desire. No one has my attention anymore. My brother had his 1st girlfriend at 18 and ever since they are married 8 years later & he's obsessed with her & I can't get any guy I am obsessed with. Now I don't care of anyone. I'm crying & hurt. I don't know y god does this 2 me. I'll just continue to go eat out alone & I smile but deep down I'm hurt in pain unhappy & lonley.
Why do guys find me ugly and cannot be in relationship?
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
You are definitely quite the opposite. I think that guys definitely do get intimidated by very attractive girls for a variety of factors. It could be that he thinks that you are too pretty to not have a boyfriend and doesn’t want to waste his time asking you out. They could have several failures in the past and they decided to give up for a while. They might think that your attractiveness vastly outshines them and give up because they might think that you are not afraid to tell them to get lost right on the spot and look down on them (again probably due to experience). They night think that they are way out of their league and if they “get lucky” and “score” a date with you, no matter how nicely you treat them they might get depressed because they might feel like they do not deserve you (experience of mine thankfully I mostly got over that). They might have had an abusive relationship or an abusive mother in the past and are constantly on edge whenever they are around a girl. Unless you are known for being mean to any man who dares to approach, It mostly boils down to experience and confidence. I would try going up to a man and ask him out yourself. Even if current circumstances get in the way, like being already taken, he at the very least would feel flattered that you asked.
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7 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Iv asked out guys b4 in the past and i was always rejected! I'm trautamixrd now and think every single thing that u mentioned that a guy would think plus I see couples everywhere I go and I'm alone depressed
Wow really? That sucks. I’m sorry to hear that. Just by that he’s probably too immature for his own good anyway. I’ve had a girl do that to me once and it honestly didn’t surprise me I kinda saw it coming but it hurts. If you really want a relationship i’d say try online dating. Tinder is where I met my girlfriend after all. Online dating at least is great because people would be absolute morons if they use it when they are taken especially if they mention it.
It honestly sounds like you're trying too hard and scaring away any potential interests.
Ease up on the make-up and let it compliment your features rather than be your features.
Be happy with yourself. You can't change your features, so get to know you and appreciate you for you.
Do stuff you like doing because you like doing it, and you'll naturally meet other people who like doing those things.
Don't give gifts to try attract someone. You can't buy love, only pleasure.
Just slow things right down and love yourself properly first. Being with someone doesn't make you happy if you aren't happy in yourself, it just puts an incredible amount of pressure that no other person can possibly achieve.
You think you got it bad. I'm 35 and single. Women older than me don't want me. My own age doesn't want me. And the younger ones say I'm too old. Your a very beautiful woman. Some of it could be the guys your going after. If your after just looks alone and stuff your just gonna keep getting dicked around. I'm not picky. I treat women with respect and dignity. Like I was raised to. But apparently women seem to want guys that treat them like shit and complain about it in front of decent guys that are looking for someone to love them. And we sit there like hey, I'm right here. But you'll never know because you won't give them the time of day.
You definitely are not ugly. I'm sorry you feel this way and I know the feeling of seeing everyone else around you be happy with another person and not having anyone yourself to share that with. It is very disheartening and makes you feel really undesirable. Unfortunately I can't say the magic words to take away your frustration, depression and loneliness. I will say this however. The time you spend be single and getting to know yourself means that you will appreciate the person who accepts you for you when you actually find each other. Oh and "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" 😊 chin up girl. It hurts but it hasn't killed you
It sounds like you are very motivated and hell bent on making a good life for yourself.
So much so that a lot of guys are going to be intimidated as fuck by this because well, the world is full of slackers today.
You have some steep competition because the good men that are out there are not only in demand by womeb like you who are driven, but also by the gold diggers, every woman wants a good man and those are in short supply, especially in socal where you have a huge single female population because of the movie industry.
The best thing you can do is socialize as much as possible and continue hard after your goals.
Sounds like you wait for your dreamguy to approach you, while you sit there, do your studies and eat alone.
Ever thaught about approaching a guy? Ask a man for a date, if you want to. Do not stay passively and expect things magically happening around you.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I was alone til 21. That was a mistake. I gave a second girl a chance after a few years. That was a mistake. I've been single ever since. Be patient. You're intimidating. I wouldn't approach you. Too beautiful. Some guys will. Your husband will in time. Men are nothing to cry over. Not that important.
You haven't lived your whole life but you can determine you'll be alone til you die. Makes no sense. Be patient and continue building your life. You'll meet a man that will want your time and attention.
Yes but I won't be single til I'm 30. Or 24. I want my boyfriend by 24 at least and I'll have to go to clubs and bars and find anyone! I have the worst luck in the world my true partner doesn't exist
Stop being so doubtful. You have too many days ahead of you to know exactly which day you'll meet your man. One at a time and enjoy the journey focus on other things when you meet your man be happy.
To be perfectly fair, your face is not that pretty in my opinion. I would not go as far as to call you ugly though.
Thing is, all what you have said are good and well, but you walk the same shoe as most guys. If there is no chemistry, you can do nothing.
Now. My advice is to care less. People can smell the cringe of wanting somebody badly from miles. Be haopy with yourself and with what you do and like minded people will come along.
I'm tired of being third wheel and wenever I'm with my bro and wife they are always together and leave me behind and I'm alone bored and I remember wen I was younger my bro would slam the door in my face and open it for her and I think there is no one meant for me who will love me
I'm sorry you feel that way, but I don't think it's true, the thing I would be worried about is that in your current state of mind, some loser guy might come along and play you just to get sex and you may fall for a lie? You need some self confidence, I hope you can see you are attractive and worthy of a gentleman.
Hard to say I don't know him, you just need to build up your self confidence and work on you a bit, you shouldn't have such low self esteem. Your young and pretty, you will find a good man.
stop asking for a boyfriend. it might be bad for you for now. this is why u can't have boyfriend for now. you might be so obsessed with him and might do bad in your previous jobs. when u reach a good point in life, you will have boyfriend easily
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9 Reply
Asker
+1 y
How is it if I have a good job then I'll magically get a gf? I don't get it
not girlfriend, boyfriend... and not magically. everybody likes someone who has a job. and guys who have job will come and talk to you moreover want to be your boyfriend or you to be their life partner
Wen I was working at that job I was busy working and that guy randomly started talking to me following me and now we still aren't anything, I was stupid and thought he was the one for me
Damn your hot... I'll be your boyfriend assuming you don't have a dick... That's the deciding factor for me... If you got webbed toes, cool, fat ass, cooler, weird birthmark, cool to, but I draw the line at dicks...
Yeah with the long message about why guys won’t date you. But now I realise it’s probably because they just really want to fuck you without emotional attachment. If you want a relationship you need to market yourself to the demographic. Find out what committed guys look for.
Neither do i. So why worry about it? If you don’t believe in love then just embrace who you are and have uncommitted sexual encounters with guys who find you attractive.
I don't want that. I am a very romantic person and don't want be alone and never marry I want my partner , boyfriend. I don't want casual sex with anyone 😞😞
Sounds like you gotta figure out the love thing then. Guys will pick up on the fact that you don’t believe in love and they won’t want to commit, knowing you can’t give them your heart
Try wearing things that are more modest. I’m not saying look ugly on purpose, hear me out. I’m saying find elegant dresses, things that accentuate your looks without showing too much skin. Thats step one for first impressions. Then have confidence in who you are. If you lack confidence enough to be comfortable with being single, you’re not ready to be with the man you’re meant for. It’s like baggage you don’t need to carry into that relationship. Don’t worry about stuff. Just do you and be comfortable in yourself at all times. Love yourself. Find happiness in life in general. It’ll exude happiness, which will draw a decent man to you. Those simple things are my laws for attracting a good solid man who will commit to you. Next step, make sure you’re not looking in the wrong places. Mr right is not on tinder or in that night club. He’s holding the door for your at that restaurant or bumping into you at the book store
So focus on the other things. The comfortability with being single. Once you stop wanting something you’ll always get it. And can I ask... do you think that picture is modest?
No but I have modest pics always wen I go out I'm covered up and nothing ever no guys want me , my whole life I'm alone and still nothing happens that idea of bieng alone and a guy will come out of the sky isn't true
Try going to another area. It could be the guys where you live. Honestly if I was into the whole relationship thing, I’d probably approach you, but only if I saw confidence and stability in you
Like I would have to get the vibe that you’d be stable whether I was there or not. It’s hard to explain. You just don’t want to come across desperate, needy, or seeking. That’s what matters
I couldn't be bothered to reaf this whole thing but i think if you dont try and get one you can understand yourself see if anything is making guys want to avoid you and also not trying to get one will probably get you one
Walking alone always invites trouble for a woman, you’ll definitely find someone soon enough, just don’t rush it, you’re very pretty so it’s not your looks
You are not ugly at all. You are attractive. Furthermore, you'll note that the other guys on this thread are answering more or less the same.
This leads me to think that there are other reasons why you are alone that have very little to do with your appearance.
Firstly, I truly am sorry that you feel sad and alone. It might be worth examining that these feelings are overwhelming you, and perhaps that's why you're alone, my dear.
You are not stupid, by the way. You are just hurting, and that is very understandable.
by the way, lest you be thinking I am just some old guy telling you that you're attractive, I give you my word (for whatever that's worth) that I would have said exactly the same thing about you when I was your age. The young me would have found you just as physically attractive as I think you are now.
My brother is only happy cuz he's married and has his partner or else he wudnt be happy and he got to marry his 1st and only girlfriend he was obsessed with at 18
Please understand that I get that you're in pain, asker. And I hope for the happiness you deserve.
That being said, my biggest point is that your not having a relationship has nothing to do with your looks. Don't believe me? Just look at the responses you're getting here. Most of the guys are telling you you're not ugly, myself among them.
I suspect that it's your depression and pain which is driving men away. Now please know that I think your pain is very understandable, but it is something that needs to be worked on.
I noticed you said that you smile a lot. That may be true, but behavioral scientists have studied smiling and found that it's a bit more complicated than most people know. When a smile is fake, that is the person isn't really happy, people can detect that. When a smile is genuine because the person is truly happy, people can detect that, too. It has to do with involuntary muscles involved when smiling that are active when we're happy, and inactive when we're not.
So you need to work on being genuinely happy in your life, which I believe is possible. It will come through in your smile, your posture, your facial expressions, and your voice. Then you can start working on finding a good man.
Lol but girls r mean and jealous of me so I can't ever get any girlfriends don't have sisters my own cousin is jealous and are fought and she said something hurtful to hurt me. I can't even have the guy I wanted.
I am quite convinced that you're not having a man in your life is due to your problems with sadness, depression, and pain. These things coupled with what seems to be envy and possibly other issues are, I think, the greatest reasons why you are alone at the moment.
But the good news is that all of these are well within your control. You can affect changes to these things.
I ask this with kindness, but have you considered seeking the help of a mentor or professional counselor?
My whole life since I was 13 I was rejected and I tried to be positive but nothing happens it feels worse no guy each year wants me. The guy i wanted to go to prom with lied he had a girlfriend but didn't
I can't even hang out with family they all hav someone special and r together and I'm just there stupid and with my brother he ignores me and just talks to his wife and I'm just there in the back alone bored
I strongly suspect he/she will tell you the same thing I'm telling you, but will offer strategies to affect changes.
Keep at it, my dear. Listen carefully to what your counselor has to say. I suggest you ask about cognitive behavioral therapy. Some friends of mine have tried it and it worked very well.
People always find someone they have a connection with and like and they are together and wen I meet someone special to me and that I have a strong connection with nothing happens and I'm hurt , I don't believe in love
Sadly, not everyone does find someone they have a strong connection with. But I also believe that you are not doomed to be among those people because of your looks, as you suppose.
I believe you are focusing way too much on the happiness of other people and how love is going to fix your life. I believe you should be discussing with your counselor about how you can be open to the possibility of finding someone rather than focusing on all the rejection.
by the way, rejection is the norm, even for attractive people.
I would agree that perhaps it isn't normal to be rejected by every single guy every year, which leads me to think that because it isn't your looks it must be something else.
I know it can cause depression. These are things that you must work on with your counselor.
I just read the last line before and thought that you would want to talk as you were feeling lonely but now I have read the whole para and I think it's your choice of men who are unavailable. Why not talk to someone who you know is single?
Why not give someone who think is not "that" attractive a chance and maybe you'll find him worthy! There are a lot of guys with good personality but not good looks
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