Guy says how much he likes me, but keeps goes back&forth wanting to meet me then disappears. Stringing along.

[Anonymous]

Guy saw me at a store, liked me, found me on Facebook.

He wrote I was the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. We both in mid 30s. Turned out he had a girlfriend that he says he doesn't want to be with and only stays because of his daughter. And she supports him financially as well. It probably doesn't matter, but she is really ugly appearing. Then we would agree to meet, but he backed out several times. Finally we met, kissed, were close to having sex but didn't. I didn't feel comfortable though I felt big chemistry. Later I wrote several messages to him how I liked him etc. His response was a short cold msg: "I am fine, busy", and then he disappeared. I was very hurt and felt lied to because he didn't really need me and wouldn't even want to see me again despite of saying that I was the most beautiful woman. I thought it was over.

4 months later he sent me a message he would like to see me again. Of course I was extremely happy. He also wrote some hot words that he wants to touch and feel me etc. Took my breath away. We met and he started backing out, worrying about his family etc. We ended up having sex. He admitted that his girlfriend has been denying him sex for over 2 years. He then said we could meet in a few days and rent a hotel room. The next day I sent a very nice message how much I liked the way he made me feel, and I liked him as a man a person, etc. His response was only "cool, thanks". Although he was writing hot things in messages, he never said anything nice to me in person. He was like a totally different man.Then he sent a message that he is leaving town for work.

He does leave town often , but this time he came back in a few days and never contacted me. I don't even understand how the guy is not interested in meeting a woman who is available for him if he is not having sex. I strongly believe he is not lying about it.

I don't feel that he is intentionally playing games. I am very sensitive and expressive,but he does seem to not have empathy to others' feelings.

I don't understand why he does that and what I should do. I want to send him a short msg, something like that I cannot meet once in a 4 month without a single nice word in between or any expression of mutual feelings. Again, he might not even answer if he doesn't give a s..t, or will say again "busy". I don't buy "busy". If a guy is interested he will change his schedule around and will find at least a couple hours to meet a woman.

Any ideas.

Updates

+1 y

The way I am is that I have to have some kind of clarity and closure. What if I write to him something like: "I like you, but I cannot meet once in 4 month without a single word in between. I don't want relationship if it is not mutual. Better nothing at all". It is very scary for me to write something like it because I am still afraid to push him away and regret it later.

[JayCutler]

I smell drama from this a mile away lol. This situation can get pretty ugly specially if kids are in the mix. sure sound like he just want a fling or possibly just a hook up..my advice stay away

[Asker]

Thank you. I work in a medical field, and he saw me wearing scrubs. He knows I make much better money than his girlfriend does. Maybe subconsciously he was looking for someone who can provide him with more financial stability. I am a nurse and it is very hard for me not to be caring even if I am not treated well. Patients do it every day. May sound stupid, but I want to help the guy out. He doesn't have a job. I also could listen to him venting about his problems :)comfort him. But he doesn't seem to care

[JayCutler]

yeah I understand because my girl is the same with her patient but if you feel like you really have to do it or want to help him then do it. but please don't feel used after he run away when all his problem are settle

[Asker]

Actually, I realize now that I don't want anything that is not mutual. I would like some clarity, but he never responds to my questions. He ignores everything that might appear challenging to him. Ending relationship even if it is disfunctional is very painful. And I do need some kind of closure.

[JayCutler]

indeed. him not responding to your challenging questions really say something right there..like he like s to run away from his problem too and I was clearly under the impression that women are more attracted to guys who like to take on a challenge and responsibility..

[Arfoo]

He seems like a sociopath, run away. Look up the term on google.

[Asker]

Thank you for your response. Sounds exactly like him. Very charming on the outside. Several months of waiting have been very painful for me. For some reason I feel strong attraction even though he acts like he doesn't care about me and has no regards for my feelings. However I feel a very strong need to express it to him even if he doesn't respond. I have been walking on eggshells around him being afraid to upset him or push him away and I have been putting myself down. What should I write to him?

[Arfoo]

just because there's attraction doesn't mean it's right. He's cheating on his girlfriend/wife with you.

[Asker]

I do not disagree with you. But how can he be cheating if she is not having sex with him for over 2 years. He is a young guy and has sexual needs.

And regardless of what is going on between them, I am trying to find a way how to act. I need some kind of closure. I would like to write something to him. Not begging, but somehow stating my feelings. Not sure yet how exactly to do it.

[jake19976]

What did he say that made you take your breathe away?